I lived undercover in North Korea.

在 2011 年，金正日人生最後的六個月，

I was born and raised in South Korea, their enemy.

我秘密生活在北韓。

I live in America, their other enemy.

我在它的敵對國家南韓出生長大，

Since 2002, I had visited North Korea a few times.

在它另一個敵對國家美國居住。

And I had come to realize that to write about it with any meaning,

從 2002 年起，我數次訪問北韓。

or to understand the place beyond the regime's propaganda,

我意識到，如果想要寫關於北韓的 有意義的書，

the only option was total immersion.

或是超越政權的政治宣傳，

So I posed as a teacher and a missionary

唯一的方式就是將自己完全融入。

at an all-male university in Pyongyang.

因此我以教師和傳教士的身份

The Pyongyang University of Science and Technology

在平壤一所男子大學工作。

was founded by Evangelical Christians who cooperate with the regime

平壤科學技術大學

to educate the sons of the North Korean elite,

由福音派基督徒建立， 他與當權者合作

without proselytizing, which is a capital crime there.

辦學教育北韓精英家庭的孩子，

The students were 270 young men, expected to be the future leaders

他們沒有誘勸他們改宗， 這被認為是嚴重的罪行。

of the most isolated and brutal dictatorship in existence.

學生們是 270 位年輕男子， 他們被期待成為未來領袖，

When I arrived, they became my students.

領導這個世界上 最孤立且殘忍的獨裁政權。

2011 was a special year,

我在那裡，他們成為我的學生。

marking the 100th anniversary of the birth of North Korea's original Great Leader,

2011 是個特殊的年份，

Kim Il-Sung.

是朝鮮偉大領袖金日成的

To celebrate the occasion, the regime shut down all universities,

百年生日。

and sent students off to the fields

為了慶祝這個盛會， 政府關閉了所有的大學，

to build the DPRK's much-heralded ideal

把學生們遣散到各個工地

as the world's most powerful and prosperous nation.

去樹立北韓這個 世界上最強盛繁榮的國家

My students were the only ones spared from that fate.

最偉大的救世主的形象。

North Korea is a gulag posing as a nation.

我的學生們是唯一一群 免於辛苦勞動的人。

Everything there is about the Great Leader.

北韓是以國家形態呈現的 共產主義古拉格集中營。

Every book, every newspaper article, every song, every TV program --

在那裡的一切都有關於偉大領袖。

there is just one subject.

每本書、每篇報刊文章、 每首歌、每個電視節目——

The flowers are named after him,

只有一個主題。

the mountains are carved with his slogans.

花朵以他的名字命名，

Every citizen wears the badge of the Great Leader at all times.

山上篆刻著他的口號。

Even their calendar system begins with the birth of Kim Il-Sung.

每個居民無時無刻不佩戴領袖像章，

The school was a heavily guarded prison, posing as a campus.

甚至他們的日曆系統 都要以金日成的生日作為開始。

Teachers could only leave on group outings accompanied by an official minder.

學校是重兵嚴守的監獄 以校園的形式出現。

Even then, our trips were limited to sanctioned national monuments

老師們只有在集體外出活動時才能離開， 並且有一位官方人員隨行。

celebrating the Great Leader.

即使這樣，我們的遊覽 也僅限於遊覽國家紀念碑，

The students were not allowed to leave the campus,

慶祝偉大領袖。

or communicate with their parents.

學生們不允許離開校園，

Their days were meticulously mapped out, and any free time they had

或是與他們的父母接觸。

was devoted to honoring their Great Leader.

他們的日程都被精心安排， 那些僅有的自由活動時間

Lesson plans had to meet the approval of North Korean staff,

也都用在敬仰偉大領袖上。

every class was recorded and reported on, every room was bugged,

課程安排必須經過北韓官員的批准，

and every conversation, overheard.

每堂課都有被記錄、再彙報， 每個房間都裝了竊聽器，

Every blank space was covered with the portraits of Kim Il-Sung and Kim Jong-Il,

每個對話，都會被聽見。

like everywhere else in North Korea.

所有空置的空間都會被 金日成和金正日的畫像佔據，

We were never allowed to discuss the outside world.

就像北韓的其他地方。

As students of science and technology, many of them were computer majors

我們不允許討論外部的世界。

but they did not know the existence of the Internet.

科學技術大學的學生， 大部份主修電腦科學，

They had never heard of Mark Zuckerberg or Steve Jobs.

但他們不知道網際網路的存在。

Facebook, Twitter -- none of those things would have meant a thing.

他們從未聽過馬克．祖克柏 (臉書創辦人) 或是史蒂夫．喬布斯 (蘋果創辦人)。

And I could not tell them.

臉書、推特——這些對他們來說 什麼意義也沒有。

I went there looking for truth.

我也不能告訴他們。

But where do you even start when an entire nation's ideology,

我去那裡尋找真相，

my students' day-to-day realities,

然而，你甚至不知道要如何開始， 因為整個國家的意識形態，

and even my own position at the universities,

我學生們每日生活，

were all built on lies?

甚至我在大學的職位

I started with a game.

都建築在謊言之上？

We played "Truth and Lie."

我從一個遊戲開始。

A volunteer would write a sentence on the chalkboard,

我們玩「真實與謊言」。

and the other students had to guess

一個學生在黑板上寫了一句話

whether it was a truth or a lie.

另一個學生要去猜

Once a student wrote, "I visited China last year on vacation,"

這是實話還是謊言。

and everyone shouted, "Lie!"

當一個學生寫道： 「去年假期我訪問了中國。」

They all knew this wasn't possible.

所有人大聲說：「謊言！」

Virtually no North Korean is allowed to leave the country.

他們知道這是不可能的。

Even traveling within their own country requires a travel pass.

事實上，沒有人被允許離開這個國家。

I had hoped that this game would reveal some truth about my students,

即使在國家內部旅行 也需要一個旅行證件。

because they lie so often and so easily,

我希望這個遊戲能夠 揭露關於學生們的一些真相，

whether about the mythical accomplishments of their Great Leader,

因為他們說謊太頻繁，太容易，

or the strange claim that they cloned a rabbit as fifth graders.

關於領袖神話讚美的言論，

The difference between truth and lies seemed at times hazy to them.

或是奇怪地宣稱他們在小學五年級 就已經無性繁殖了兔子。

It took me a while to understand the different types of lies;

對他們來說，真實與謊言 界限太模糊。

they lie to shield their system from the world,

我花了些時間來了解 不同類型的謊言；

or they were taught lies, and were just regurgitating them.

他們說謊為了將他們的國家系統 獨立於整個世界，

Or, at moments, they lied out of habit.

或許他們受到的教育是假話， 他們只是在重複這些假話。

But if all they have ever known were lies,

或者，有些時候， 他們習慣性地說謊。

how could we expect them to be otherwise?

但是，如果他們接受的資訊都是假的，

Next, I tried to teach them essay writing.

我們怎麼能夠期待他們說些別的呢？

But that turned out to be nearly impossible.

隨後，我試著教他們寫作，

Essays are about coming up with one's own thesis,

但這完全是不可能的。

and making an evidence-based argument to prove it.

寫作意味著寫他們自己的文章，

These students, however, were simply told what to think,

用以事實為基礎的論據去證明它。

and they obeyed.

然而這些學生 簡單地被告知要去想些什麼，

In their world, critical thinking was not allowed.

他們尊崇。

I also gave them the weekly assignment of writing a personal letter,

在他們的世界，批判性思維 是不被允許的。

to anybody.

我佈置了一項作業，寫一封信

It took a long time, but eventually some of them began to write

給任何人。

to their mothers, their friends, their girlfriends.

過了一些時間，最後他們中的一些人 開始寫

Although those were just homework,

給他們的母親、朋友、女友。

and would never reach their intended recipients,

儘管這些只是家庭作業，

my students slowly began to reveal their true feelings in them.

這些信永遠不會送到對方手中，

They wrote that they were fed up with the sameness of everything.

學生們慢慢地開始展現 他們的真實情感。

They were worried about their future.

他們寫道，他們受夠了 千篇一律。

In those letters, they rarely ever mentioned their Great Leader.

他們擔心自己的未來。

I was spending all of my time with these young men.

在那些信中，他們很少提到 偉大領袖。

We all ate meals together, played basketball together.

我把所有時間都用在 和這些年輕男生相處。

I often called them gentlemen, which made them giggle.

我們一起吃飯， 一起打籃球。

They blushed at the mention of girls.

我常常稱呼他們紳士， 這讓他們感到有趣。

And I came to adore them.

他們提到女孩子的時候會害羞，

And watching them open up even in the tiniest of ways,

我開始喜歡他們。

was deeply moving.

看著他們敞開心扉 即使只是一點點，

But something also felt wrong.

都非常感動。

During those months of living in their world,

但有些事情感覺不對，

I often wondered if the truth would, in fact, improve their lives.

在那幾個月裡 生活在他們的世界，

I wanted so much to tell them the truth,

我時常想，真相會不會 提升他們的生活。

of their country and of the outside world,

我太想告訴他們真相了，

where Arab youth were turning their rotten regime inside out,

關於他們的國家和外部的世界，

using the power of social media,

阿拉伯年輕人把腐朽的政權 鬧得翻天覆地，

where everyone except them was connected through the world wide web,

靠社群媒體的力量，

which wasn't worldwide after all.

除了他們，世界上每個人 都能夠通過網路連接彼此，

But for them, the truth was dangerous.

終究不是全世界都能這樣。

By encouraging them to run after it, I was putting them at risk --

但對於他們來說， 真相是危險的。

of persecution,

如果鼓勵他們追求真理， 就是把他們置於危險之中——

of heartbreak.

或是遭到迫害，

When you're not allowed to express anything in the open,

或是心碎。

you become good at reading what is unspoken.

當你不被允許 在公開場合表達想法，

In one of their personal letters to me, a student wrote that he understood

你會開始擅長讀出 那些沒有說出口的事。

why I always called them gentlemen.

在他們給我的個人信件， 一个學生寫到，他理解

It was because I was wishing them to be gentle in life, he said.

為什麼我一直稱呼他們紳士，

On my last day in December of 2011,

因為我祝願他們人生平和安逸。

the day Kim Jong-Il's death was announced,

我在北韓的最後一天 2011 年的 12 月，

their world shattered.

那天政府公佈了金正日的死訊，

I had to leave without a proper goodbye.

他們的世界粉碎了。

But I think they knew how sad I was for them.

我必須要離開， 甚至無法說再見。

Once, toward the end of my stay, a student said to me,

但我想，他們知道我有多麼悲傷。

"Professor, we never think of you as being different from us.

在我快要離開的時候， 一個學生告訴我，

Our circumstances are different, but you're the same as us.

「教授，我們從未覺得 你和我們是不同的。

We want you to know that we truly think of you as being the same."

我們的處境不同， 但你和我們是一樣的。

Today, if I could respond to my students with a letter of my own,

我想讓你知道，我們真的認為 你和我們是一樣的。」

which is of course impossible,

今時今日，如果我能親自回覆 一封信給我的學生們，

I would tell them this:

當然這是不可能的，

"My dear gentlemen,

我會告訴他們：

It's been a bit over three years since I last saw you.

「我親愛的紳士們，

And now, you must be 22 -- maybe even as old as 23.

距我離開你們已經三年多了，

At our final class, I asked you if there was anything you wanted.

現在，你們應該已經 22 歲了—— 也許 23 歲了。

The only wish you expressed, the only thing you ever asked of me

在最後一堂課上，我問你們 你們想要什麼。

in all those months we spent together,

你們表達的唯一願望， 你們提出的唯一要求

was for me to speak to you in Korean.

在我們共同度過的那些時光，

Just once.

是我能用韓語和你們對話。

I was there to teach you English;

只有一次也好。

you knew it wasn't allowed.

我是去那裡教你們英語的；

But I understood then, you wanted to share that bond of our mother tongue.

你們知道這是不被允許的，

I called you my gentlemen,

但我理解，你們想要與我分享 我們共同的母語。

but I don't know if being gentle in Kim Jong-Un's merciless North Korea

我稱呼你們為紳士，

is a good thing.

但我不知道在金正恩殘酷統治下的北韓 平和溫順是不是

I don't want you to lead a revolution --

一件好事。

let some other young person do it.

我不希望你們引領一場革命——

The rest of the world might casually encourage or even expect

讓其他的年輕人去做吧。

some sort of North Korean Spring,

即使全世界都鼓勵 甚至期待

but I don't want you to do anything risky,

某種「北韓之春」的革命運動，

because I know in your world, someone is always watching.

但我不希望你們冒險，

I don't want to imagine what might happen to you.

因為我知道在你們的世界， 總有人在監視。

If my attempts to reach you have inspired something new in you,

我不想想像你們會遭遇什麼。

I would rather you forget me.

如果我對你們講授的知識 激發了你們心中新的想法，

Become soldiers of your Great Leader, and live long, safe lives.

我寧願你們忘記我。

You once asked me if I thought your city of Pyongyang was beautiful,

成為你們偉大領袖的戰士， 過著平穩安逸的人生。

and I could not answer truthfully then.

你們曾經問我 我認為你們的首都平壤漂亮嗎，

But I know why you asked.

我無法回答你們真相。

I know that it was important for you to hear that I, your teacher,

但我知道為什麼你們這樣問，

the one who has seen the world that you are forbidden from,

我知道這對你們來說很重要， 聽到你們的老師我

declare your city as the most beautiful.

這個看過你們 被禁止踏足外面世界的人，

I know hearing that would make your lives there a bit more bearable,

告訴你們平壤是最漂亮的。

but no, I don't find your capital beautiful.

我知道聽到這樣的評價 會讓你們的人生更好受一些，

Not because it's monotone and concrete,

但是不，我不認為你們的首都漂亮。

but because of what it symbolizes:

不是因為它單調的混凝土建築，

a monster that feeds off the rest of the country,

而是因為它的象徵意義：

where citizens are soldiers and slaves.

一個吞噬其國民的怪物，

All I see there is darkness.

把人民當做士兵和奴隸。

But it's your home, so I cannot hate it.

我看到的是黑暗。

And I hope instead that you, my lovely young gentlemen,

但這是你們的家， 因此我不能憎恨它。

will one day help make it beautiful.

我希望你們， 我可愛年輕的紳士們，

Thank you.

會讓它變得更加美麗。

(Applause)

謝謝。