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Do I look real to you?
譯者: Deborah Lu 審譯者: Jianan(Tiana) Zhao
Hope so.
我看來還真實嗎?
I have no idea if you're seeing this,
希望是。
but I'm just going to look ahead and trust that you're there.
不知道你是否能看到全部,
I've drawn a semicircle in the sand in front of me
但我就這樣向前看, 當你是在那兒。
so I don't walk past it and look like I'm floating in midair.
我在前面的沙上 畫了個半圓形
Right now I'm standing
來避免我走過界 然後看似浮在半空。
in the open air,
現在我正站在
on a beach under a palm tree,
露天的海邊,
in the exact spot where your stage used to be.
一個松櫚樹下,
I have 12 minutes with you.
跟之前的舞台 是完全同一個地方。
I set a limit.
我跟你有十二分鐘。
My wife Navid once said
是我設的上限。
that infinite possibility is a creator's worst enemy.
我老婆「納維德」曾說,
For example, this dress: I'd asked her to design something
「無限可能」 是創作家最大的敵人。
that a priest might have worn in 23rd-century Cairo.
就拿這衣服作舉例, 我請她設計個像
But we only had three days to make it,
二十三世紀開羅牧師 會穿的款式。
and the only fabric we had
但,只有三天的時間去完成,
was an old duvet cover that another resident left behind.
而當時為一能用的布
But she did it, and it's perfect.
是個老式的被套, 是前屋主留下的。
And she looked at it and said,
但她做到了,很完美。
"Proof of concept -- creation needs constraint."
她滿意的看著說,
So with these 12 minutes,
「概念證明: 創作需要規範的。」
I'm going to tell you about my greatest discovery.
所以在這十二分鐘裡,
For my whole life, my obsession has been eternal life,
我要分享 我最重大的發現。
as I know it is so many of yours.
這一生我最大的夢想 就是「永生」,
You may be happy to know that your research will pay off.
我知道這跟大多數人一樣。
I am 318 years old.
也許,你會高興知道 這探索將會得到結果。
The average human lifespan is now 432 years,
我已經 318 歲了。
and my work has been to extend the human lifespan indefinitely.
現在人類的平均壽命 是 432 歲,
And I've never questioned that someday,
我的職業就是 無限延長人類的壽命。
we'll reach a point where we'll be content.
我也一直相信,有一天
But the opposite keeps happening:
我們會覺得滿足 認為「這生夠了」。
the longer we live, the longer we want to live,
但相反的卻持續發生:
the less we want to die.
我們活的越久, 就越想活得更久,
Who can blame us?
越不想死亡。
The universe is so big.
但誰又能怪我們呢?
There won't ever not be more to see.
宇宙是如此之大。
Just yesterday,
有永遠看不完的人事物。
I was reading about how you can take out a boat on Europa
就像昨天,
and sail from island to island all over the planet,
我閱讀了關於 利用船來航遊歐洲
and some of the islands have villages that you can stay and visit
從島嶼到島嶼 航遊整個星球,
and sleep under the shadow of Jupiter.
其中有些島嶼還有村落 可供你參觀
And then there's this other island where there's just one songwriter
並睡在木星的影子下。
who sits and plays mandolin for the ocean.
還有另一個島嶼 那裏只有一個歌曲作家,
And then there are others where there's no one
他就坐那兒為大海演奏曼陀鈴。
and there never has been,
其它許多島嶼 都是「無人島」
and so you go just for the pleasure of touching your foot to sand
一直都是,
that no foot has ever touched before.
所以去那兒只能享受 腳碰觸沙灘的滋味,
You could spend 400 years doing just that.
那個無腳碰觸過的沙。
Right now the Moon is rising in the Northeast.
願意的話,你可花四百年在那兒。
I can see the cities on it with my naked eye.
現在月亮正從 東北方升起。
They're connected like nerve clusters:
只用肉眼就能 看見上面的都市。
Mariapolis on the South Pole, and Ramachandran on the Equator.
他們像神经元似的集群著:
And New Tehran in the Sea of Tranquility.
「瑪麗亞普利斯」在南極, 「拉馬錢德蘭」在赤道。
That's where Navid and I met.
還有「新德黑蘭」在寧靜之海
We were both artists downtown.
那是我結識「納維德」的地方。
The day we met, we were passing each other in Azadi Square,
當時我倆是市中心的藝術家。
and we bumped shoulders.
相識那天,我倆剛好 在「阿扎迪廣場」路過,
And I turned to apologize
我倆的肩膀碰了一下,
and she, without saying hello or introducing herself or anything,
我轉頭要道歉
said, "Well, why do you think we didn't just pass through each other?"
而她,並沒打招呼 也沒自我介紹甚麼的,
And first of all, I thought, "Who the hell are you?"
就說,「你覺得我們 為何沒直接穿透對方?」
But second, the question annoyed me,
當時我第一個念頭是, 「你從哪兒冒出來的?」
because the answer is so simple.
第二,這問題實在很無聊,
I said, "We didn't pass through each other
因為理由太簡單了。
because elementary particles have mass
我答說,「我們沒穿透對方
and because the space between elementary particles
是因為基本粒子是實質
is filled with the binding energy that also has the properties of mass,
而且基本粒子 之間的空間
and we've known that for 800 years."
有電子結合能 而那能量也是實質,
She must have been in one of those moods
這我們知道八百年了。」
where she likes to mess with strangers.
她一定是處於那種
Or maybe she was just flirting with me,
喜歡捉弄陌生人的心態。
because she looked at me and said, "I thought you'd say that.
又或者她在挑逗我,
Think deeper."
她看著我說, 「就知道你會這麼說。
And then she took off her belt,
但再想深點兒。」
this belt that I'm wearing now,
就把她自己的皮帶拿下來,
and she said,
就是我現在帶的這條,
"Our universe is built so that particles have mass.
然後她說,
Without that basic constraint,
我們的宇宙建立在 基本粒子的質量上。
we'd have just passed right through each other at the speed of light
若沒有那基本規範,
and never even known."
我們就會在不知覺中
And that's how our romance began.
以光速穿透對方。」
Navid and I
我們的愛情是如此開始的。
never ran out of things to talk about.
「納維德」和我
Never.
有說不完的話題。
It was incredible.
從未有過。
It was like we were both heroes climbing up into a mountain range together
這很難得。
and we kept arriving at new vistas,
我倆就像勇者 一同攀登著山脈
and these new, perfect constellations of words
並一直抵達新巔峰,
would come out of us to describe them.
這些創新的, 完美的星座訴語
And we'd forget them as soon as we made them,
會不斷從我倆嘴裡冒出。
and throw them over our shoulder and go on to the next thing, on and up.
並說後即忘,
Or one time, Navid said that our talk was like we were always making bread,
全拋至腦後, 接著換下個話題。
and that we were always adding in a little more flour
「納維德」形容我倆 的話題像在做麵包,
and a little more water,
會間接的添些麵粉
and folding it in and turning it over
和些許水,
and never getting around to baking it.
並循序漸進的揉麵
If my obsession was eternal life, Navid's obsession was touch.
但卻從沒把它給烤了。
She had a genius for it.
我夢想「永生」,而 「納維德」則是「觸摸」。
All of her work revolved around it.
她有觸摸的天分。
My body was like a canvas for her,
她的工作都環繞著觸覺。
and she would draw her fingertip down over my face so slowly
我的身體就像她的畫布,
that I couldn't feel it moving.
她會用指尖畫著我的臉, 以及慢的數度
And she was obsessed with the exact moment
令我感覺不到它的移動。
when I would stop being able to tell the difference between her body and mine.
另一個讓她著迷的是
Or she would just lie across me and dig her shoulder into mine
當我無法辨別 我倆軀體的差異。
and say, "Pilar, why does this feel so good?"
她也喜歡躺我一旁 將她肩膀埋我肩下
I'd say, "I don't know!"
並說,「皮拉爾,這感覺 怎麼這麼舒服?」
And she always had a facetious answer for her facetious question,
我會答說,「我不知道!」
but the answer I remember today is,
她總有滑稽的答案 來答覆自己滑稽的問題,
"It feels good
令我映象最深的是,
because the universe chose its constraints,
「這美好的感覺
and we are its art."
來自於宇宙選擇 的規範,
It's always funny what you think the future is going to be like
我們就是那結果。」
versus what it turns out to be.
好笑的是 我們所想像的未來
In your time, scientists thought humans could freeze themselves
總是與現實有差距。
and wake up in the future.
科學家曾以為 人類可以冷凍保存
And they did -- but then they died.
然後在未來醒來。
In your time, scientists thought humans could replace organs
是做到了 ... 但後來還是會死。
and extend life for hundreds of years.
科學家曾以為 人類可靠更新器官
And they did,
多活幾百年。
but eventually, they died anyway.
是做到了,
In your time, Earth is the only place people live.
但最終還是會死。
In my time, Earth is the place people come to die.
在你的時空,地球是 唯一生存之地。
So when Navid started to show the signs,
在我的時空,地球是 等死之地。
our friends assumed I would do what everyone does,
所以當「納維德」也出現 死的徵兆,
which is say goodbye and send her to Earth,
朋友們都以為我會 如一般人一樣,
so that none of us would have to look at her
說「再見」然後 送她去地球,
or be around her or think about her and her ...
如此我們就不用 看著她
failure to keep living.
或跟她有所接觸 或想著她的一切 ...
More than anything,
即將結束的生命。
they didn't want to be around her actual physical body.
最大的原因,
They kept referring to it as "declining,"
是不想環繞於 她的軀體。
even though she herself was fascinated by it,
他們一直稱之為 「衰退」,
the changes it was going through,
但她自己卻為這一切 充滿了驚奇,
following the rules of its nature day by day, independent of her will.
對軀體自然的變化,
I did send Navid to Earth.
一天天的逐漸衰退, 無法自主。
But I came with her.
我後來還是將「納維德」 送到地球。
I remember a friend of ours, just before we left, said,
但我跟她一起來了。
"I just think it's arrogant,
記得臨走之際 一個朋友說,
like the rules don't apply to you, like you think your love is that special."
「我認為這是高傲,
But I did.
好像你在規則之外, 好像你的愛情最偉大。」
So, even here on Earth,
但我就是如此。
I kept working on how to extend life.
即使到了地球
It didn't occur to me
我繼續研究著延續生命。
that there could be any other response.
當時我沒想過
I kept going back to that thing that Navid said to me
能有其它的方式面對。
that day in Azadi Square,
我不停想著「納維德」 對我所說的觀點
that without that basic constraint --
在「阿扎迪廣場」那天,
a universe that granted mass to matter --
有關,若缺乏基本規範─,
we would not exist.
就算宇宙授予物體「質量」──,
That's one rule.
我們也無法存在。
Another rule is that all mass is subject to entropy.
那是其一的法則。
And there is no way to be in this universe without mass.
另一個法則是所有質量 都受制於「熱力學」。
I know. I tried everything.
若缺乏「質量」 是無法在這空間存在的。
I tried creating a photon box where the Higgs field was altered.
這我懂,我全試過了。
I tried recording all subatomic movements in my body
我曾做了個光子盒 來改變「希格斯」場。
and replaying them on closed loop.
我也記錄了我身上 所有次原子的運作
Nothing worked.
並以閉路循環方式重現。
But my final innovation was to create a coil dimension
但全沒用。
with the boundaries of a body in which time moved infinitely slower,
我最後一個發明 是電波線圈創造的異次元空間
but whose projection would appear to move in normal time.
令軀殼的時間 變得無限緩慢,
That body would then appear in our universe as a hologram --
但其投射的身影 會如正常時間運作。
here but not here.
以「全息投影」 的方式出現。
When I realized I'd done it,
似有非有的存在。
I ran to her room,
當我發現「我做到了」,
so happy to tell her I'd done it,
我立即衝進她房間,
moving through space almost normally to all eyes,
興高采烈的想告訴她,
even to my own,
我的身影 看似一般人移動,
and went to lie down next to her,
但我卻忘了,
and forgot, and fell right through her.
當我到她身邊躺下,
I'd found a way to eternal life,
整個人卻直接穿透她軀體。
at the expense of the one thing Navid loved most,
我是找到了「永生」,
which was to touch and be touched.
卻失去了「納維德」 最摯愛的,
And she threw me out.
那能觸摸和被觸摸的感覺。
I still got to watch, though.
就因為這樣,她甩了我。
Humans live 400 years now,
但我還是目睹了一切。
and we still die.
現在人類能活四百年,
And when death comes,
但最終還是會死。
the dying still pick at their bedsheets,
當死亡來臨時,
and their arms break out in blue and violet blooms on the insides,
臨死者還是會抓著被單,
and their breaths get further and further apart,
然後手臂會逐漸 泛紫藍色,
like they're falling asleep.
然後呼吸會越來越薄弱。
I've always thought that
就像快睡著了。
what gives a life meaning is adventure.
我一直認為
And death is just a problem
「探索」賦予生命意義。
we haven't discovered the solution to yet.
而「死亡」只是個
But maybe a life has meaning only because it ends.
尚未解決的問題。
Maybe that's the paradox:
又或許,生命之所以有意義 是因為它會結束。
constraints don't constrain, they allow perfect freedom.
也許這是個悖論:
(Sighs)
「規範」並不是「侷限」, 其實自由空間很大。
There was a thunderstorm here this morning.
(嘆氣)
There is another forecast for tonight,
今早,這裡下了雷雨。
but for now the sky is clear.
但今晚不一定,
I can't feel the wind here,
目前天空晴朗。
but I just asked one of the caretakers who passed by what it felt like,
我無法感覺這裡的風,
and she said it felt warm, like melted butter.
我剛問了路過的護理 這氣候如何,
An answer worthy of my wife.
她說感覺暖暖的, 像融化的奶油。
I have to find my way back to the flesh.
像我老婆會說的一樣。
Until then, I take up no space but the space you give me.
我必須找到回肉體的方法。