That phrase turned me into an eye-contact coach.

「看著我！」

I'm the mother of Ivan; he's 15 years old.

那句話把我變成了眼神交流的專家。

Ivan has autism,

我是伊萬的母親； 他今年 15 歲。

he doesn't speak,

伊萬有自閉症，他不說話，

and he communicates through an iPad,

而他使用 iPad 與人進行交流，

where his whole universe of words exists in images.

透過 iPad，他所有的話語 都以圖片的形式存在。

He was diagnosed when he was two and a half.

當他兩歲半的時候， 醫生診斷出他的疾病。

I still remember that day painfully.

我仍然記得那天的痛苦經歷。

My husband and I felt really lost;

我和我先生感到十分迷茫；

we didn't know where to begin.

我們不知道從哪裡開始。

There was no internet,

當時沒有網路，

you couldn't Google information,

你不能谷歌搜索信息，

so we made those first steps

所以我們剛開始時

out of sheer intuition.

全靠直覺來行動。

Ivan would not maintain eye contact,

伊萬不肯保持與我們的眼神交流，

he had lost the words that he did know,

他忘記了他曾經知道的單詞，

and he didn't respond to his name or to anything we asked him,

而且他對我們問他的任何東西， 包括他的名字，

as if words were noise.

都不予回應，

The only way I could know

就好像詞句是噪音一般。

what was going on with him,

要知道他身上發生了什麽、

what he felt,

他在想什麼、

was looking him in the eye.

他感受到了什麼，

But that bridge was broken.

唯一的辦法是直視著他的眼睛。

How could I teach him about life?

但這座唯一的橋樑也斷了。

When I did things he liked, he would look at me,

我如何教會他生活的道理？

and we were connected.

當我做了他喜歡的事情時，

So I dedicated myself to working with him on those things,

他會看向我，

so we would have more and more eye-contact moments.

然後我們之間就有了聯繫。

We would spend hours and hours playing tag with his older sister, Alexia,

所以我致力於和他一起 在這方面努力，

and when we said: "I caught you!"

這樣我們就能有更多次目光交流。

he would look around for us,

我們會花上好幾個小時 和他的姐姐阿麗克西亞一起，

and at that moment, I could feel he was alive.

玩貼標籤的遊戲。

We also hold a record for hours spent in a swimming pool.

當我們說「我抓住你了！」的時候，

Ivan always had a passion for water.

他會看向四周尋找我們，

I remember when he was two and a half,

而在那一刻， 我能感覺到他的生命力。

on a rainy winter day,

我們還保存著在泳池裡待上 好幾個小時的記錄。

I was taking him to an indoor pool,

伊萬對水有種熱情。

because even on rainy days we'd go swimming.

我記得當他兩歲半的時候，

We were on the highway, and I took the wrong exit.

在一個下雨的冬日早晨，

He burst into tears and cried inconsolably, nonstop,

我把他帶到室內游泳館，

until I turned back.

因為即使在下雨的日子裡 我們還是會去游泳。

Only then did he calm down.

我們在公路上，走錯了出口。

How was it possible that a two and a half year old

他突然淚流滿面，止不住地大哭，

didn't respond to his own name,

直到我轉身往回走，

yet in the middle of the rain and fog, where I couldn't see anything,

那時他才平靜下來。

he knew the exact route?

這是多麼令人難以置信，

That's when I realized that Ivan had an exceptional visual memory,

一個兩歲半的孩子， 對自己的名字毫無反應，

and that that would be my way in.

但在什麼都看不清的雨霧之中，

So I started taking pictures of everything,

他知道準確的道路？

and teaching him what life was like,

那時候，我開始意識到伊萬 有著出色的視覺記憶，

showing it to him, picture by picture.

而這可以成為我的切入點。

Even now, it's the way Ivan communicates

所以我開始給一切東西拍照，

what he wants,

教他生活是什麼樣的，

what he needs

一張圖一張圖地展示給他看。

and also what he feels.

直到現在，這都是伊萬交流的方式：

But it wasn't just Ivan's eye contact that mattered.

他想要什麼，他需要什麼，

Everyone else's did, too.

和他的感覺。

How could I make people see not only his autism,

但重要的並不只是伊萬的視線交流。

but see him the person

其他人的目光同樣重要。

and everything he can give;

我要怎麼樣才能讓其他人

everything he can do;

不僅瞭解他的自閉症，

the things he likes and doesn't like,

還以一個人來看待他呢？

just like any one of us?

看到他能給予的每一份力；

But for that, I also had to give of myself.

他能做的每一件事；

I had to have the strength to let him go,

他喜歡的和不喜歡的東西，

which was extremely difficult.

就像我們每個人一樣？

Ivan was 11 years old,

但要做到這一點， 我也需要奉獻自己。

and he went for treatment in a neighborhood near our house.

我需要有放開他的勇氣，

One afternoon, while I was waiting for him,

而這是很困難的。

I went into a greengrocer,

伊萬十一歲的時候，

a typical neighborhood store with a little bit of everything.

他在一個我家附近的 住宅區接受治療。

While doing the shopping,

一天下午，當我在等著他的時候，

I started talking to Jose, the owner.

我走進一家蔬菜水果店──

I told him about Ivan,

典型的街頭雜貨店，什麼都賣。

that he had autism,

當買東西的時候，

and that I wanted him to learn to walk down the street by himself,

我開始和店主荷西聊天。

without anyone holding his hand.

我告訴他伊萬的事情， 告訴他伊萬有自閉症，

So I decided to ask Jose if Thursdays around 2pm,

而我想讓他學著自己走上街頭，

Ivan could come and help him arrange the water bottles on the shelves,

不需要任何別人的陪伴。

because he loved to organize things.

所以我決定問荷西

And as a reward, he could buy some chocolate cookies,

在禮拜四大約下午兩點的時候，

which were his favorite.

伊萬能否前去幫他整理 貨架上的水瓶，

He said "yes" right away.

因為他熱愛整理東西。

So that's how it went for a year:

可以讓他買些巧克力餅乾作為獎勵，

Ivan would go to Jose's greengrocer,

那是他最喜歡吃的。

help him arrange the shelves of water bottles

店長當即同意了。

with the labels perfectly lined up on the same side,

所以一年以來的結果是這樣的：

and he would leave happy with his chocolate cookies.

伊萬會去荷西的蔬菜水果店，

Jose is not an expert in autism.

幫助店主整理貨架上的水瓶，

There is no need to be an expert

使標籤全都完美地朝向同一邊，

nor do anything heroic to include someone.

然後拿著他的巧克力餅乾，

We just need to be there --

興高采烈地離開。

(Applause)

荷西並不是研究自閉症的專家。

(Applause ends)

他沒有任何成為專家的必要，

Really, no heroic deed --

而做這樣的事 也不需要什麼英雄壯舉。

we simply need to be close.

我們只需要在那裡，堅持着──

And if we are afraid of something

（掌聲）

or we don't understand something,

是啊，這不是什麼英雄壯舉，

we need to ask.

我們只需要讓人與人 之間的關係更加緊密。

Let's be curious

而如果我們害怕某些事物，

but never indifferent.

或者如果我們不理解某些事物，

Let's have the courage to look each other in the eye,

我們需要詢問。

because by looking,

讓我們充滿好奇心，絕不冷漠。

we can open a whole world to someone else.

讓我們擁有直視所有其他人的勇氣，

(Applause)

因為通過目光，

(Cheers)

我們可以為另一個人 打開整個世界。