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  • So, Sarah. You've been with us for 5 years now.

  • That's correct.

  • We have some impressive initiatives...mhm.

  • I'll read that later.

  • So I asked you in my office here today to talk a little bit about

  • your future.

  • Specifically, how that relates to Steve.

  • Uh, Steve, uh--the intern?

  • Yes. Steve the best damn intern ever.

  • [Chuckles]

  • He actually reminds me of me when I was a kid.

  • Anyway we just hired him as a junior exec

  • and I would like you to show him the ropes.

  • Uh. Is there a reason I wasn't considered for the...

  • ...opened position?

  • No! Sarah, you're great where you are

  • and if you were serious about wanting a promotion in the next couple of years

  • which for the record--I did not know that you wanted

  • I feel like you'd want to take the initiative a little more.

  • Ok.

  • (Everyone Laughing)

  • I was like "no frikkin' way dude"

  • (Laughter)

  • Sports! Am I right? Am I right?

  • Ooh! Something shiney!

  • (Thunder)

  • What?

  • (Laughter)

  • You all had dicks.

  • Like two seconds ago.

  • Hey, I really love your shoes.

  • Oh my God thank you! I got them on sale!

  • You know I saw them online at Nordstrom's and it was like full priced--

  • (Thud)

  • So

  • it sounds like you had a very lucid hallucination

  • that you were living in a world run mostly by men.

  • (Shudders)

  • You need to shake this.

  • This is awesome!

  • (Phones ringing)

  • Nice work Steve.

  • Ow Ow!

  • Is this something that we do now?

  • Only when your intern is as hot as Steve.

  • I want to fuck you Steve!

  • (Door closes)

  • That was...the basic premise of what everyone was saying.

  • Don't be a creep.

  • So, get ready to meet the sexy new face of our Ad Compaign.

  • Woo!

  • Yeah!

  • You look great!

  • I could do my laundry on those abs, Bill.

  • I feel kind of violated.

  • Bill, learn to take a compliment. For fuck's sake.

  • (Whispers) Sorry!

  • So. Sarah, you've been with us for 5 years.

  • Yes, that's correct.

  • And I am sure I have loved every single one of those 5 years

  • working for you, Lady Boss.

  • Boss Lady.

  • Yeah. Listen, uhm

  • Sarah you do good work and I would love to give you a promotion.

  • Yes! Thank you! I will not let you down!

  • But you're just not there yet!

  • That...what?

  • You remind me a lot of myself when I first started.

  • And I wouldn't have gotten here without getting that extra push

  • every step of the way to try harder and work smarter than everyone around me.

  • [water running]

  • Hey, you okay?

  • You've been acting kind of weird all day.

  • No, no. I'm fine.

  • Is it that freak lightning strike that changed all the men into women?

  • You know about that?

  • Duh-doy!

  • You know I thought...

  • I thought that if every woman didn't have to compete

  • against one another in order for like that one little spot

  • at the man's table

  • that things would be so much better.

  • But it's like we just literally traded places and now

  • Now we're the dicks.

  • No no no!

  • Waving mascara on my eyelashes doesn't actually make them any thicker.

  • I've had to invest months in oil treatments and eyelid massages

  • so they get thicker from the root up.

  • Why don't you just put on false eyelashes--

  • I'm just saying waving a magic wand just to change men into women is just a cosmetic difference.

  • Real change happens when we start

  • a dialogue about how gender imbalance issues affect us all.

  • That was deep.

  • [zipping up bag]

  • Here.

  • You might need these later.

  • I'm not bleeding...but thank you.

  • [door closes]

So, Sarah. You've been with us for 5 years now.

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