Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles Speaker 1: Oh, hey. Hello? How are you doing? Being ignored sucks, doesn't it? In this video, I'm going to share with you exactly what a man is thinking when he ignores you, and give you three powerful things that you can do to ignite his attention, and help you stay grounded and confident if that ever happens to you. In coaching women for over 10 years, I've noticed one pattern, that when men start to ignore women, women will often go this place of forensic detective mode, where they start analyzing, "What was it that I said right before he ignored me, right before he dropped off?" They'll start to try to dissect it and figure it out, right? Kind of looks like this. Subject was last spotted outside his home few days ago, 5:43 PM. Let's check out the crime scene. Here we go. We've got a cellphone here. Okay, let's go and see what this says. So, you pull out the evidence, and you go to your text, and you try to figure out what was it that you said that exactly turned him off, caused him to pull away, because clearly, it must've been something that you said. Looks like this. He texts you and says, "Just saw the new Will Ferrell movie, The House. So funny. Have you seen it?" You say ... Speaker 2: No, I'm not a huge Will Ferrell fan. Speaker 1: He says, "What? He's so funny. Have you seen Taladega Nights?" And you say ... Speaker 2: No, haven't seen that one either, but I heard it was good. Speaker 1: He says, "Aw, you're missing out. We should watch it some time." You say ... Speaker 2: Cool. I'm up for that. Speaker 1: Then, it's been a few days, or even a week or longer that you've heard from him. Your paradigm is going to try to convince you that you did something wrong. Your paradigm's going to try to tell you, "Oh, you shouldn't. You shouldn't have texted that," or, "You weren't funny enough. You weren't interesting enough. You weren't enough in some way, and that's what caused him to pull away. That's what's causing him to not reach back out to you," that it's some flaw in you. What I want to tell you loud and clear in this message, and I really hope that you get this down to your bones. I hope you let it sink in through your conscious, into your subconscious mind, into your whole beingness that it is really hard to screw up the right thing. It is hard to screw up the right thing.In fact, let me just put this on the screen. Alex, put this up on the screen for me, buddy. It is hard to screw up the right thing. Meaning, when it's the right guy, it's going to flow. It's going to feel easy. He's going to pursue you. He's going to engage the interaction. What is a man thinking when he's ignoring you? Here's what's going on. When a guy is ignoring you, his level of interest just wasn't that high to begin with. In fact, he's not thinking about you when he's ignoring you. Chances are, this is what he's not thinking, okay? Let me tell you what he's not thinking. He's not thinking this, "Man, I am so in love with this woman. I am so into her. She is awesome in every way. She is sexy. She is beautiful. She is amazing. But you know what? She doesn't like Will Ferrell. Dang it. Can't believe that she hasn't seen The House. I cannot believe she hasn't seen Taladega Nights. She doesn't like Will Ferrell, man." That's what he's not doing, okay? I'm going to give it to you straight. When a man is ignoring you, he's not thinking about you, because his level of interest just isn't high enough. He's just not that into you. I know that's harsh, but it's actually an empowered place to be when you can see something for what it really is. He's not thinking about you. What he is thinking about is he's thinking about his life. He's thinking about working. He's thinking about his friends. Chances are he's texting other women, because if you're not exclusive with him, men are texting other women, dating other women. So, let me remind you, you didn't do anything wrong. You didn't screw it up, and nothing is wrong with you. We are going to have certain degrees of interest with people who we're connected to. Which means that stop beating yourself up, stop trying to be different yourself, and start looking for a different guy, because, I'm going to give you right now three things that you can do to, number one, ignite his interest if he is the right guy, and number two, help you feel more grounded and confident so if someone is ignoring you or pulling away, it doesn't drive on your attention and pull your focus back to that guy, or sink your self-esteem thinking that there's something wrong with you. Number one is reminding yourself that with the right guy it's going to feel easy. I can't tell you how many clients I've had come through Manifest Your Man, my coaching program, where they meet guys who pull away, they meet guys who are vanishers, they meet guys who won't plan. It just feels like this tug of war, this constant state of uncertainty. Then, they shift what they're doing. They shift their vibration. They shift how they're thinking, how they're using their mind. Then, they meet a guy who is totally into them, and the response is always like this, "Oh my gosh. This feels so easy. It feels like it should feel where it's just natural where we're texting one another. There's no games. He's pursuing me. He's planning in advance. He's prioritizing me." So let me tell you, when it's the right guy, it's going to have this natural flow and ease to it. So what does that mean? If it doesn't have a natural flow and ease to it, chances are it's not the right guy, and so you can clear the way, let him go, because you're making room for the right guy to come into your life. Now, to do this is challenging. I'm not saying it's easy, because to do this, you have to believe down to your bones that love is in store for you, that your destiny is to be in a deep, loving relationship that you want. Whatever kind of relationship you want, you must believe it down in the core of your mind. That's often one of the most difficult things that we can do. So to serve you, I've actually created an affirmation process. It's a 21-day love affirmation process. It's a free, like believe-in-love-again toolkit, if you will. I'm going to link up right here. It's a complimentary gift from me to you to help fuel the belief that you have that you are going to find love. I'll link it up in the video and also below. You can grab that at the end of the video, and it's going to serve you in empowering your belief. Strategy number two is to match his level of investment. Now, there's a human dynamic. There's a human influence trigger that we all have that when someone starts chasing you or someone starts pushing you, the natural feeling is to pull away. Well, the reverse happens as well. As someone starts to pull away, our natural inclination is to start chasing them. The reason why is because we're all triggered by an influence principle called scarcity, in that we want that we can't have. As he pulls away, here's a couple of things to keep in mind. As he starts to pull away, you want to match his level of investment. The tendency is going to be to overinvest. The tendency is going to be to start double and triple texting him, or calling, or chasing him. You don't want to do that. You want to match his level of investment. If he pulls back, stops calling, stops texting, you pull back, stop calling, and stop texting. That does a couple of things. Number one, as you reduce your level of investment, subconsciously in your mind, your subconscious will believe, "Oh, this is less important to me." So, it's actually going to reduce your level of desire, the amount of time you spend focusing on him, the amount of where we run in our minds, "What happened? What did I do?" all of that, it's going to reduce and calm your mind, okay? Because when we start chasing and when we start investing in somebody, you're pouring more energy in. Your mind automatically thinks, "Wow. This is important to me." When he pulls away and he becomes scarce, we want what we can't have, so there's another trigger that happens where we actually feel more desire for the person who's pulled away. So with your awareness, you can become clear, "Oh, wow. I might not like him as much as my desire or attraction is right now, because it might just be that I want what I can't have, and I want that." Soon as you have it, then your attraction dials down a little bit. What's great about this is you could actually keep a realistic perspective of how interested in him you really are without being sucked in by this scarcity trigger of attraction that we all have. And here's what's beautiful about you matching his level of investment, because as you become more scarce, then you will actually trigger his attraction trigger for scarcity. He wants what he can't have as well. So if he does have a level of interest for you, you're going to find out what it really is because if maybe he's just been distracted as you become more scarce in his life, he's going to say, "Hey, were did this texting go? Where did all this attention go?" His natural interest for you is going to increase, and he's going to start pursuing you. In other words, this isn't about playing games, but this is about being congruent with the level interest and the level of investment the person you're interacting has with you, and you matching that. This brings me to number three. As you're matching his level of investment or reducing your level of investment to match his, you want to focus forward. You want to focus on your own life. You want to focus on the opportunities that are ahead of you. You want to focus on you living your amazing life. Here's why, as you put focus and attention on him and what's missing in your life, naturally, what happens for us is we feel discouraged. We start to feel depressed. We start to look for what's missing in us, and it drags our emotional state down. But, if you focus forward, if you focus on the opportunities you have in your life, if you focus on all the things that are going right, all the amazing qualities that you have in yourself, you open yourself up to better opportunities. Because here's the deal, if this guy isn't interested in you, there is a guy who is interested in you. There is a guy who wants to prioritize you. So when you do these three things, when you focus on in believing that the right things is going to be easy, and that that's out there for you, when you match his level of investment, and when you focus forward, you open yourself up for the right amazing guy into your life who's going to prioritize you. He's going to pour into you. It's going to be easy. He's going to plan things with you. Here's the deal, you deserve that level of guy. You deserve that level of relationship because you are amazing. You are awesome. As you own it, you will call it in. So, here's my question for you: When someone pulls away or when someone's ignoring you, what strategy do you implement to maintain your level of peace of mind, your level of confidence? Go ahead and post that in the comments section below. I love checking out your comments. And if you're not subscribed to this channel, we are dedicated to helping you improve the quality of your life, improve the quality of your love life, and be a greater expression of love and light in this world. So, go ahead and click the subscribe button and the little bell so you get alerts when these videos come out each and every week. You will be the first to receive those. I appreciate you watching. Wishing you an amazing day, and I'll see you soon.
A2 US level investment thinking focus texting ignoring What He's Thinking When He Ignores You | Relationship Advice For Women By Mat Boggs 42 5 Caurora posted on 2018/04/20 More Share Save Report Video vocabulary