>> ISABELLA: I do.

>> OFFICIANT: Rudolfo, do you take Isabella as your wife?

>> RUDOLFO: I mean...

[SLAP SOUND]

>> RUDOLFO: Okay! Yes.

[♪ Here Comes the Bride ♪] >> RUDOLFO: Jesus Christ. [BLEEP].

[MUSIC]

>> ISABELLA: This place is amazing.

>> RUDOLFO: Yeah, it's [BLEEP] amazing.

>> ISABELLA: Look at the little girl!

She's so cute!

>> RUDOLFO: Look, look, look what's she's doing, look what she's doing.

You didn't see that?

>> ISABELLA: No.

>> RUDOLFO: Look, look, look right now, she just did it again. Look!

>> ISABELLA: You're scaring her.

>> RUDOLFO: Do me a favor, hold this. Son of a [BLEEP].

>> ISABELLA: What the hell are you doing on the ground?

>> RUDOLFO: The little girl!

>> ISABELLA: Are you kidding me? You're always sleeping! >> RUDOLFO: It's not my fault!

>> GRETA MENCHI: Bonjour!

Uh, what do you want to drink?

>> ISABELLA: Can I have a water?

>> GRETA MENCHI: Okay! For you?

>> RUDOLFO: I'll go water too, please.

>> ISABELLA: Do you know where the bathroom is?

>> GRETA MENCHI: Oh sure, just inside. Yeah.

>> ISABELLA: Thank you.

>> GRETA MENCHI: You sure you just want water?

>> RUDOLFO: What?

>> GRETA MENCHI: I don't have time. She's coming back. I think I love you.

I love you! You understand? From the moment I first saw you.

I can't anymore! I fell in love with you.

I beg you my god...No!

>> RUDOLFO: What's going on?

>> ISABELLA: Hey!

>> GRETA MENCHI: Hi! Oh, his shirt was dirty. Dirty shirt.

>> ISABELLA: I cleaned it yesterday!

>> GRETA MENCHI: I'll be right back with your drinks.

>> ISABELLA: Thank you so much!

>> GRETA MENCHI: Yeah. >> ISABELLA: She's so nice

>> RUDOLFO: I think I just got sexually assaulted.

>> ISABELLA: The tour! Come!

>> RUDOLFO: This is the tour guide?

>> ISABELLA: They said he's the best.

>> RUDOLFO: Hello?

>> ISABELLA: Hey!

>> TOUR GUIDE: Welcome to Venezia! Please follow me.

Stairs.

>> RUDOLFO: No [BLEEP].

>> TOUR GUIDE: This is a wall!

Door.

People.

Bird.

1,000 dollars.

>> RUDOLFO: For what? You didn't do anything. You showed us a door.

>> ISABELLA: Just pay him!

He's pretty good.

>> RUDOLFO: Come on. Come here, let's talk.

Okay listen, this has been the worst [BLEEP] day of my entire life.

>> ISABELLA: What do you mean? We're in Venice.

>> RUDOLFO: I'd rather go to Venice Beach, California. This sucks.

>> ISABELLA: What? We saw a little cute girl.

>> RUDOLFO: Are you talking about the demon child?

>> ISABELLA: A nice waitress.

>> RUDOLFO: The prostitute?

>> ISABELLA: We saw the best tour guide.

>> RUDOLFO: You mean the drunk guy? That's what I saw.

>> ISABELLA: What do you want?

>> RUDOLFO: You wanna know what I want

>> ISABELLA: Yeah.

>> RUDOLFO: I want UberX, not a god [BLEEP] boat with people taking pictures of us while we're trying to shoot a YouTube video.

>> ISABELLA: You know what I want?

>> RUDOLFO: No. I don't care.

>> ISABELLA: Well I'm telling you anyways.

I want to have children.

>> RUDOLFO: Okay, on second thought, maybe we should just stay, it's not that bad here, maybe we should just stay.

>> ISABELLA: We're not! This is not working.

>> RUDOLFO: You know what? You're right. It's not working. Our marriage is over.

>> ISABELLA: Okay! Bye!

>> RUDOLOFO: Oh wait! Your phone.

>> ISABELLA: Yeah, my phone!

>> RUDOLOFO: That would have sucked.

>> ISABELLA: Idiot!

>> RUDOLFO: [BLEEP] you.

[MUSIC]

Holy [BLEEP].

She has 7 million followers?!

[MUSIC]

Hey.

>> ISABELLA: What are you doing here?

>> RUDOLFO: Listen.

I think I made a mistake.

>> ISABELLA: What made you change your mind?

>> RUDOLFO: Your instagra-, uh, my, our, my love for you.

>> ISABELLA: Really?

>> RUDOLFO: Mmhm.

Okay. Let's promise right now to never ever fight again.

>> ISABELLA: Promise.

>> RUDOLFO: I promise.

This was a mistake.

>> ISABELLA: I hate you.

[EXIT MUSIC]