Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome to- *does octodad impression* Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome to "Dead End Road". Now I found this horror game and it looked very interesting because it was kind of a... pseudo-pixelated style? I have no idea how it's gonna play, I have no idea how it's gonna-- Hello Grandma, how are you doing? Hohoho, whoa! "So you've finally arrived my dear?" Oh have I? "You can come closer if you would like?" I would not like that; I'd like to maintain as much distance between me and that fucked up face as I possibly can. Holy shit! "Perhaps my appearance frightens you?" You're goddamn right it does! What happened to your eyes?! Ugh! "There is no need to be afraid child." "You seek instruction on the ritual, yes?" Ok! You know you said there's no need to be afraid *lisps a bit* then you say thing like there's going to be rituals? And I need instruction for them. I'm not okay with this - this is absolutely absurd. "That is what my visitors usually ask of me." *Awkward giggle* OOOOkay! "It is true that the ritual has power..." "...the power to grant one wish." "But it comes at a terrible cost" Ok! What? "I can see you will not be dissuaded-" Can you? I'm easily dissuaded; you could just tell me to leave and I'll go. "Go perform the ritual, then return to me." "And bring with you the following; A book, a bell and a candle." Ok? Alright! A book, a bell and a candle. "Can you remember that, my dear?" Yeah! A book, a bell and a candle. I don't know why I need these things but I'll go get them for you Grandma! "So then, do you still wish to proceed?" "Very well" "Then we shall begin..." With a book, a bell and a candle. Oh geez! OH geez! OH GEEZ! "Perform the ritual with the directional input" I don't know what I'm doing?!? What do I? Ooohh! Ah! Whoa! Did I do it? Do I get my wish now? Whoa! Okay! Ah! This is bizarre... Okay? Oh, okay! I get it: it glows where it supposed to be, and each of the button[s] controls a different... Ok! that's supposed to be there, those two are supposed to be there... ...and this is supposed to be here! AHH! There we go! Okay! Got it, got it, got it! Book, a bell and a candle. Did I get those? Or did I need to get those? "What is your request of the dark powers?" Um! *conflicted groan* How do I subtly wish for a bigger dick? *Bubble noise* Uh! A huge, massive, enor- Uh oh! Uh! Ok! Uh! Just erase it... Um... Ultimate power... *More conflicted groaning* A doggo... A-a a *Mark.exe is not responding* A doggo named Fred- Ah fuck it. Ultimate power! Bam, bitch! Give it to me! What's the terrible cost? Oh hey- Whooaa, hey... Hello! Ah, fuck off with you! I should've had my defense up! *Sick robot wobs?* What? Oh oh. What did I do? Do I have ultimate power? I don't know. I don't know what I did. I don't know what I did, bruh! Okay. Alrighty, then. I'm driving in a car now. Oh, geez. I love the styling of this game, by the way. I know it's like, it's low-res, but it's intentionally low res- oh, geez. OH, g- OH, geez! OH-h-ho geez! Oh, geez! Aw, cool OHH, geez! I'm outta here, baby! I don't know where I'm going, but- whoo, hey! Oh, this wind that rushes through these hills... Oh, boy... OH boy, oh boy. Hello! ok goodbye Ah! Gonna crash! Oh, geez! I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing with this! Where am I going? I'm so confused. And panicked! Hoping that grandma doesn't show up at any moment. She never even- Oh geez, what did I hit? She never even told me what the terrible price actually was. Ok, I-I-oooh, woah! I see that the- the meter- It's counting down, so I should be getting- I'm g-whoooo- hey trash can! I- Ah! Boxes! Okay- oh, s**t. Oh, jeez. Oh, geez. I'm all over the road here- Oww, shit! Uh-oh. Alright. Backing up. Yep. Yep, yep, yepyepyep- okay, let's try that again without dying. Hopefully, anyway... Not 100% sure on this- whoa! (Whoa, whoa, whoah...) Goddamn! Whoa, whoa-w-w-whoa, I didn't know this was gonna be skill-based! I don't have a lot of skills, so I don't know how this is gonna work out! Oh, geez. Probably shouldn't be going full throttle... Oh, G- oh, goddammit, I didn't- ugh! 'Kay, I'm getting close - I'm only 1.5 units away from my destination, I think! ugh I don't know what that sign said, but it was probably important for me to know it... Okay? Road got straight. Okay, almost there! *whimper* Okay I did It! A-Averiville Turn le-okay. I'm going to Averville. The following shops appear to still be open: Supermarket, mechanic, pharmacy, pawnshop, leave. Oh. Thank god some places are still open at this hour. Why do I need money? What? What? *constipated grunts* What am i doing i am so confused HI!!! WHOA What happened to your EYES?!?!?! Oh geez! Following items are available. Let's get some- 'I don't like the way this guy is staring at me'. Let's get some cigs and get out of here. Yeah, let's get them cigarettes, get some chocolate - don't judge me. I'm- I'm emotional at the moment. I just summoned a demon and got ultimate power, so don't *breathes* you mess with me bro. Okay, I got stuff I don't know- a scratch card I guess, I'm not sure. Okay... Oh-Oh okay, I'm not a winner this time. I'll give it one more go and then we'll see what happens... BINGO! Yeah the winner is me! Is this the ultimate power finally getting to me? All right I'm out of here. Alright, I guess I can go to the mechanic... Jesus, what is happening here? Oh god! 'I don't like this guy's attitude' I don't like any of these guys' face! Ugh! Right, so I guess I could repair the car, but I don't know why... Ooo, hello. Okay, can I? Oh geez. Repair it? All right did that. It's good I guess... My fuel... Yeah, okay... Upgrades... What is this? Bull bars reduce collision damage? (Whispers) What the fuck? This one? All right ok. (Quietly) This is what I do.. this- this- this is bizarre. This is just bizarre. I don't even know why this is happening. Aw, it's so weird. Hello. 'I can feel this guy silently judging me' Let's see quaaludes?!? Why is that on here? I'm out of here, good god! Buh... Alright, pawn shop Ugh... Hey buddy. 'Following items are available': Bible, matches, collar Bell Oh a book, a candle, and a bell! Don't I need a bell? Wait, do I still need these things? I don't know if I need these things. I need a candle. I-I guess I need this! Woah jeez. This isn't a candle though. But I got matches for a candle I suppose. 'There's something I don't like about this place' - Well it seemed like a normal supermarket than a pawn shop... All right, whatever. I guess I'm gonna head back now. Okay where - Whoa. What the-WHAT? Oh shit! Is this going back? Oh, I don't know. I don't know where I'm going! I don't know what I'm doing! What the hell is going on here? Oh jeez, dude Oh geez du-ooh. Whoa almost hit that... Oh hello! What was that? Oh, there's cows on the road! I am *hesitates* unbelievably confused. Incredibly confused. Hey, what was that? Deep it? Dub it? Do it? Do what? Do what?! Ah shit. *vroom vroom screechy car noises* Uh-oh. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, whoa, hey, whoa, hey - why is this happening? Why this is happening whuh-oh okay. Uhhh... Oh geez, the road is getting awfully treacherous - hey whoa what was - that!! WHAT?! YOU SUFFERED A FATAL CAR ACCIDENT?! WOULD YOU LIKE TO RESTART?? I don't even know what happened! That wasn't fatal! What are you talking about?? Oh god damn it! What the fuck?? What happened?? What, did I not get to it??? What the fuck happened?? What? Eternal life. So I don't die. *no shit sherlock* 'The dark powers have not understood your request' (giggles) Whuhut?! giant penor.. well just. BEAUTY! BEAUTY! Give me beauty! I'm not - boo beyheyughhey, how's it going? (Demonic Voice) YOU ARE BEYOND THE REACH OF GOD WHILE HERE "You are beyond the something of God here" The reach? Maybe? I have no idea. Okay, so now I'm assuming I need a book, a bell, and a candle... to be able to get what I need. Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa - what are you dumping dude? What are you dumping? Stop that! What did you just hit me with? Whoa Ahh, what is that? Oh, was that meat? Why was there meat?! Why was that thing throwing meat? Eugh, ah, hey, whoa, hokay. Jeezums. This road is a lot more treacherous than the first one I went on. Oh crap. OH Crap! Oh hey whoa HI god - goodbye HOLY SHIT! What was THAT?! Why were you there? That was weird Oooookay! The fuck happened here!? Why am I in a tube of meat? Oh geez. That would probably be bad if I was just driving down the Highway and not able to know where I was going, but thankfully - God why is all this shit happening now? Because beauty is a much more... oh geez Beauty's a much more difficult request to answer. Can I co- can I backup please? Please? Please? Oh geez. Okay, I think we reached the straightaway finally. Which is awfully nice... oh geez. What the hell is going on here? I haven't a goddamn clue, but I need a book, a bell, and a candle! A book, a bell, and a candle would be lovely! A book, a bell, and a candle! Averville, Averville!! Okay, supermarket! Maybe I can try for the scratch card again... Boop! Okay that was a waste of money all right, I'm out of here. No, not that. Cowbell! A math textbook?! That's a book! That is definitely a book! And a candle... But a fire lighter isn't exactly what I needed, but just in case, I'm going to get it In case I need to light the candle All right. So I got a bu- a beh, a boo de beh de boo. All right. I'm gonna save my money until I get to the All right. I'm gonna save my money until I get to the next place. Okay, so Draughtshire or North Hollows. I imagine Draughtshire is where I just camefrom, considering I turned left into this place, but I'm gonna go left here to try to go a ways away, and I'm gonna go at a very reasonable speed. Oh, whoa, hey, whoa, see - that's why. Why are these guys driving on random sides of the road? Seems very inappropriate... Oh! Was that a body? Why's there a body in the middle of the street? that didn't make any - go whoa. Hello! *demon grumbles* 'I will be down there with you'? Is that what you're saying? Well ooo, hey *beepy demon screams* I think, actually, I just realized, everything's in pounds. So I think driving on the left side of the road is the only a appropriate way to do thi- I can't see. Please turn it on! Hokay, whoa, geez, okay. Well that didn't seem good. I'm glad that my problems are affecting the rest of the world and - I can't see a goddamn thing. Oh, is that the guy throwing meat again? Oh whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Okay, now we're getting to the heart of the matter! Oh jeez. Oh! Fuck me! In the butt! Oh god! Jeez! Hoooly crap! Can I turn my lights back on, please? Oh geez, I can control that? Holy crap - hi! Whoa, whoa, whoa, eyeballs! That's weird! Hokay, now I'm getting it! okay Oh! Hey, hitchhiker No. AHH, fuck! Sorry, SORRY, oh god! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Okay. *sings* My sanity is not doing well. All right. Whoa! Holy shit! I'm okay. What the fucking fucker fuck? I just want to know - whoa, whoa, whoa, watch out buddy. Ehh shit. Ahhhhh, I don't know what you said, man! Okay. Shit. Well that ain't good. Ahh, bird! Well, that bird had a bad day. Looks like - I bet I'm having a bad day, with my car all being beat to shit and no you do not! Not throwing any more meat at me! Whoa, what is that? What was that? Uh Uh, oh jeez! Well that ain't good! How do i fix that? Okay, nevermind, it fixed itself! don't don't . Oh hey...What the hell is happening? I don't much appreciate you being in my backseat! bitch ok I think I finally made it to the straightaway shouldn't got it I shouldn't get in just in case it's all interior lights ok ok what the fuck yeah I think I turn on the radio ok dead end road I started there went to a marvel ok for so i need to go am I trying to go to dead end road I think I am so if I just keep taking left out of here i should be able to get everything I need to get it the dead end road I think that's my objective here ok ok supermarket I just need a candle damn it ok for you darken Ali search ally during the search of the alley the only items of interest you find a discarded needles and a rat knowing on a rod morsel the resembles a human toe you decide to discontinue your investigation the alley ok all right then I wish I hadn't gone this way me too me too buddy to buddy maybe the antique store has something yeah grimoire lighter broken Bell a grimoire of what Klaatu Barada nikto that seems important I'll get that - hold out for the candle i'm pretty sure i don't have that right just keep driving just keep driving it's all we can hope for I just can't hit anything else because i think my car's in bad shape we're going left we're just going to make left we're gonna be cool a bird ok Walker come to Daddy come to Daddy no thank you I'm perfectly okay where I am oh boy that's ahead hello head we were just all homeless kid that hole again after you're okay I don't know what happened whoa okay jeez Okay all right oh geez yeah i think i think the way the game is programmed it's not actually uh it's not actually it's not actually uh any turns that are on the road it's not actually any turns that are on the road the road just randomly shifts left and right at random intervals I think that's the way it's programmed ahh geez doing fine and this is a hard road to drive on whoa that was a body mmmmm that was tasty body whoa hey buddy woah geeze oh oh oh oh oh-that's not good oh that's not good *hooonk* ahhh! whoa too close can't see a goddamn thing ah! fuck sorry! i'm sorry i'm sorry oo~ very good my car is about to explooode dude I don't think I'm gonna make it I don't think I'm gonna make it whoa kay avoid that i'ma drive the middle of the road or at least try well I think I might of made it final stretch god I don't think I have enough money to repair my car at this point *beautiful singing* alright Holrich shouldn't of blown all my money on scratch'ems!! alright let's try the umm- pawn shop see if there is a candle there Votive candle! that's what i needed really nice candle thank you! ok so that's good and let's see if i can actually repair enough to do any damage but i don't know all right let's see repair not enough?- ahh! I need all cash i can't just do a partial repair god damnit that's gonna be a bitch well I can't do anything I don't even think i can buy scratchns it will be good enough i think im just fucked~ well might as well try really doladdoladdoladdolad ba-ding! ok might as well try again there's no risk in it because otherwise I don't even think I have enough to do anything nope not a winner I know I'm unlucky is this just a baaaad run bing! ok so no no winners that time but we're fine don't need to buy anything else but I got all the supplies so if I can just make it through I think just one more town i'm not sure but who knows who knows I'm probably not gonna make it not gonna make it nnnot gonna make it cant make it-wont make it cant do it no it ain't gonna happen buhuhuh *ahh don't complain mark* alright if I consult my map i'm currently in holrich so it's literally just one more go until I get to dead-end Road which I imagine is where I need to go and I've been very conservative about fuel know what? let's try what's the harm we're gonna happen dead end road let's do this I'm gonna go in schnail pace woahh jeez woah jeez this road seems to buhe-mmmm-bad nail pace you can't beat me!-well you could probably be me orgies *this is supposed to be woah geeze but im gonna keep it XD* whoa! ah dammit one with the fire and such god damn well okay uhh hi friend my friend *creepy ass radio static or whatever o.o* oh geez oh jeez did I avoid that okay i think i did ahh! fucking bird fu-dammit! oh geez road frigging curving at random whoa what the hell what is this! warning a fatal error has occurred what are you talking about system has no chance to recover what you're talking about user has no chance to-woooaaahhh! ok is that supposed to be my computer? I think of a little more advanced than doss well that's that's that's best very bad that's-that-proly-that proly bad that was probably bad ohhbado hello other car who would be driving on this road !?who?! just who would be whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo would tolerate this road oh geez I'm not even gonna try to pass this guy he seems to be more capable navigator than I am oo-ah! *what are we monkeys now?* gotta listen to the lovely sounds of this radio station ~~*lovely sound of the radio station*~~ kay im passing him which is-there we go ok got it this is flipdickin impossible! fuck woah ge-ahh goodammit fuck that woah *more lovely noises*:D I met a terrible fate havent I idk maybe maybe i have *demonic: turn around* turn around?! I've gone a bit too far at this point ooooo maybe I should turn around there ahh! * fucck that demonic laughing o.o* uh-oh wuh-oh wuh-oh! ohhh noo! goddammit i was so close! ah fuck oh good it skips ba-ok this may be good it it skips past the first part which means that it's going to give me enough time to do that but damn what what did I hit ahh god damn it i think I-uh that might have been oh god I'm hitting everything fuck me it's ridiculous scented candle that's good I'll get that scented candle a collar Bell works for me~ lets see we hav a cat collar good enough matches maybe i need 'em they're cheap enough enough i'll get 'em then just a bouk just book just a book-e-book search ally with some trepidation you enter some dark alley as soon as you have entered a local ne'er do well threatens you and demands all your-ohhh I lost half my cash!? fuck you!! goodamnit kay still afford a book I think it'll be okay hi didn't I luckily i've already spent some of my money so i only need the book left and then maybe repair and maybe fuel but i think i have enough to get there we shall see just two more hop to go I got more than half of you left so i think we're okay if I don't have a book in this next town i'm basically fucked because i don't think there's another turn away until get to the end there so hopefully please have a book ahhh perfect! i'll take the Bible this will be great yes thank you very much i got everything I needed I even have matches i have all that shit and umm.....should be good then I should just be able to make it all the way to the end and I should be a-okay right right okay I think so all right and this time I just gotta drive really carefully like slow as a snail here we go ohh come on how did i hit something i didnt even see a-woah! I didn't even see a bird she's oh god dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit that was unavoidable okay good for you i hope you got a big appetite you can't swallow all of me fucking pothole god damn this is absurd what oh god damn it it's another one of these things yeah this looks like my computer oh boy think it told me to just tea bag myself damn it whoa*X like 6*I'm not hitting you Wo-geeze ok wow that guy really whoa that guy really want to splatter himself all over my car i think i just missed a bird *hooonk*woaahh hey buddy ahh fuck ahhh you cant stop me! *hoooonk* woah! geezums what the fuck is that I don't know what that's about ooo I don't know what that's about super weird *hooonk* wah-fuck off!!are you kidding me ahh fuck that god damn it that's such bullshit alright so i was having a bout a bad luck and i just ran out of time if you guys can figure out how to get to the end i'll put a link to the game in the description below you can tell me about it and maybe i'll try to pick it up later but I just don't have enough time right now so thank you everybody so much for watching let me know what you think of this in the comments below and as always I will see you... in the next video. Buh bye!
B1 US geez candle whoa whoa road fuck jeez SPOOKIEST DRIVE OF MY LIFE | Dead End Road 45 1 Sheng Xiong Hong posted on 2018/05/02 More Share Save Report Video vocabulary