You were observed to colouring a picture of a dinosaur.

Is that true?

*Loud*: YEAH,

Can we go to wecess?

Even though your mom had repeatedly asked to clean up your toys,

you disobeyed her and coloured ANYWAY?

Uhh....

I plead the fifth.

Your Honour, I have no further questions.

James, I hereby sentence you to 15 minutes in the time-out corner.

*SMACC*

I'M NOT GOING BACK TO TIME-OUT!

I'm no scientist, but I think moms play a very important role in society.

Without moms, who would drive us to FOOTBALL* practice?

Who else would tell us that it's not okay to eat cupcakes for breakfast?

And who else would point at construction workers and say:

Mom: That's why you need to get a college education James.

O O F

Oh and I guess they also give birth to you and take care of you, but like...

PHHFFT.

Anyone could do that.

Now before I talk about how I was raised,

I just wanna give out this disclaimer,

That my mom is a great mom.

She loves me.

At least she used to.

If you asked me when I was 15 if my mom was a great mom,

15 year old me would've said:

NO.

Okay, but like...when I was a little, I'd be talking with my friends,

and we would be talking about our parents and they would say stuff like:

Brownie: Yeah, my mom lets me stay up till midnight, and let's me play really graphic and vulgar video games.

Blackie: Yeah, my mom doesn't care if I wear clothes with skulls on them.

And she let's me eat an entire tub of ice-cream for dinner.

Gingy: My mom let's me play with

KNIVES!

And I used to think that their moms were so much cooler, for letting my friends have that much fun.

But NOW,

as an adult,

I realized the sad truth.

But these kids' moms weren't cooler...

They just cared about them less.

I'm not saying every mom out there is perfect.

But a mom who takes the time to make a responsible member of society,

is pretty high up on the good mom list.

Anyways,

I love ya mom!

And now I'll immortalise and monetise some of that love.

When I was younger and still in need of adult supervision,

My mom would take me and my twin sister out to run errands with her.

And, as you would expect,

we were rowdy and wanted to do our own thing.

But my mom was PREPARED for this.

She would bring two plastic baggies filled with 10 M&Ms,

and every time my sister or I misbehaved,

She would eat an M&M right in front of us.

And she made SURE, we saw her eat our M&Ms.

She didn't give us a warning either!

If we did anything remotely bad, she would say:

Mom: Hey, HEY!

*snap snap*

Look at me!

*nom*

*GASP!*

And I think that parenting technique is the psychological reason that M&Ms are my favourite candy bar.

*distressed noises*

*still distressed*: I'm a gooD Boy!

I'M a GoOd BoOoOyY

Something me and my sister really like doing,

was hiding in those circular racks of clothes that they have in department stores,

Being in the middle of one of those racks is such a surreal experience.

I totally recommend it.

But, my mom didn't like when we had fun, so she had to reach out and try and grab us.

Do you need any help?

Oh, no! I'm just trying to get something in the back.

There's a really nice belt that would be great for

spanking my MIS-BEHAVING CHILDREN!

I was spanked as a kid.

Nothing,

TOO bad.

I probably deserved it anyway.

I don't remember any specific actions I did that earned a spanking.

But I do remember

outrunning my mom a lot.

Another thing my mom did when I was very little,

was sometimes when she was washing her hands,

She would turn to me and go

Atchoo!

And flick water at my face.

It really bothered me, but I never spoke out about it.

And one day, I just...couldn't handle it any more and I started crying.

Mom: Why are you crying?

But I was too sad to articulate how it was really feeling.

*sobbing*

Yo--*sobbing*

*still sobbing* were flicking water at me and

ATCHOO!

*SOBBING INTENSIFIES*

If you ask about her about this today, she'll say that she doesn't remember doing that sneeze gag ever.

But I remember it.

Vividly.

So to get back at her, I put a rubber band around the dish sprayer...

So when you turn on the sink it would spray water at you.

Come to think of it, I do remember one reason I was spanked.

Every time one of my siblings insulted another sibling, or told them to shut up,

We would have to pay them 50 cents.

This resulted in a really weird dynamic when it came to insults.

We would get excited when someone called us a name.

*distant*: MOOOM!

LUKE CALLED ME A BUTT-HOLE!

Mom: That's fifty cents!

*distant*: WOOOOOOOOOOO!

I'M RICH!

But sometimes, us kids would just be messing around with each other or we didn't really mean the insults.

So we would feel bad taking someone else's fifty cents.

Like someone would say:

Faith: Hey James, what's 6+6?

and I would say:

James: Uh nine, idiot.

and my mom would hear me and say:

Mom: James, that's fifty cents!

and my sister would feel bad so she would insult me back and say:

Faith: JAMES!

Y-y-you're an...

Unpleasant person.

Aww :) .

Swear words cost ya five dollars.

That's why I don't swear in videos.

But now I can afford it.

Soooo...

F— you mom!

You piece of ————————————————————

___________________

My mom never washed out our mouths with soap, she wasn't /that/ kind of person.

But she did threaten to if we swore.

And one time after I said a pretty naughty word,

P E N I S

She said:

Mom: If you don't behave, I'm going to get the soap!

And I said:

James: I don't care, soap tastes good!

Mom: Alright you big dingus, shove this in your mouth. You won't do it. No balls.

So I bit into it, and...

immediately regretted it.

Now people are eating soap for views.

So I guess we never grow up.

Did any one else's parent's put a password on the family computer?

Because my parents did, and I didn't know we were the only family that did that.

We had a rule in the house that we were only allowed to be on the family computer for however long we read a book for.

But luckily, I would just read a book for 15 minutes,

get my mom to type in the password,

and then she would just forget that I was on the computer,

and let me stay on for hours.

And I played a lot of Neopets and Runescape.

Also I wasn't allowed to have a TV or computer in my room,

Because than I would have easy access

toooo...

Inappropiate.

Animes...

When I was little, cellphones were a thing.

But my mom didn't let me have one,

I had to talk to all my friends over a landline.

I hope I don't have to explain what that is,

cuz that would make me feel very old,

and I'm supposed to be in the

Prime of my life.

But basically it meant, if I was upstairs in my room talking to a friend,

My mom could grab a phone downstairs in the kitchen,

And just join in our conversations completely uninvited.

Didn't matter who I was talking to,

I'd be having a converation like this.

*sigh*

I think the reason I internalise and hide away all my problems,

is because of how invasive my mom is in my personal life.

Mom (on the phone): James, get off the phone and do the dishes.

James: Mom!

I'm on the phone!

Mom: Wow! I can't believe you said that to the person who gave birth to you!

So what are you two losers talking about?

Luckily, I would almost never be talking to a girl.

So at least,

/that/ didn't happen.

This other time, my mom was giving me and my sister a ride to school and,

on the radio, she was listening to the worst sub-genre of rock music.

Christian rock...

*whispers*: Just kidding, you can like whatever you want.

Anyway, we were pulling up to the school, and I told my mom to turn the music down.

Mom: What?

Why?

James: Because I don't want people to think I listen to this mom!

You see, I was in Junior High, so I cared a lot about what other people cared about.

So she turned the music down,

But as we stepped out of the car,

She turned the volume all the way back up, and blasted the music for everyone to hear!

JESUS TAKE THE WHEEEEEEEL!!!

*LOUD CHRISTIAN ROCK*

*INCOMPREHENSIBLE SCREAMING*

Looking back at the situation,

I think that's pretty hilarious.

GG mom.

These aren't all the times my mom embarrassed me,

But those are all the ones I'm gonna include in this video.

I didn't even mention the time when I was 4 when my twin sister wanted to do balle lessons

But, she didn't want to do them alone,

So my mom signed me up for lessons too.

But that's a story for another video.

And that video will be titled,

Top 10 Reasons I'm

Gay.

That was- That was a joke mom.

Love you mom! You made me like this!

And there you have it everyone! That was my mom.

Again I just wanna say that, despite whatever I say in my videos, that my mom is a great mom.

I wouldn't be here without my mom.

She also reads all of my scripts so,

all of my videos James' mom approved.

Okay, well I shouldn't say that, she does tell me to take out a lot of jokes, and I'm like:

Oh their-but their funny!

And also speaking of my mom,

my mom's birthday is coming up,

So happy early birthday mom!

and if you guys wanted to wish her a happy birthday, that'd be cool too.

I was serious when I said these aren't all the times my mom embarrassed me.

I definitely have enough material to make a part 2.

Again, I love you mom.

Thanks for not being one of those moms that are like:

Those moms: NO! You're not allowed to be an artist, you have to finish college and be a doctor.

eyhh!

In other news, if you can't get enough odd1sout videos, then you should check out theodd2sout.

A couple days ago, I posted a video where I answer riddles, so that was a lot of fun.

Also thank you to my 4 colourers who helped colour this video, you guys should all check them out.

And if there's anything you should take away from this video,

Is that you should always...

call your mom.

And wear your seatbelt.