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  • I so often hear people send the message like "Thank God that's not me!" when they see someone with a disability or like "Thank God! That's not me or my kid."

  • And that's sending the message that disability is equal to someone who is less than or broken or incomplete and that's not the case.

  • [Things people living with disabilities wish you knew]

  • I have Cerebral Palsy.

  • It affects me pretty much from the hips down and also just like fine motor control and things like that.

  • So I have Tourette Syndrome which is a neurological disorder which means I do movements and noises that I can't control.

  • I have Cerebral Palsy as well left Hemiparesis and Nystagmus which means that my whole left side is weaker than my rights.

  • I have a very aggressive form for Lupus.

  • And I have a blood clotting disorder associated with my Lupus and four years ago I had a clot in my foot.

  • And then this happened and over eight months and 11 surgeries, this was the end.

  • "I don't feel bad about myself."

  • I... love having Tourette's.

  • I love that I'm four foot, seven.

  • I love my obsessive compulsive disorder.

  • And I think that's the case that many of us have embraced our disabilities.

  • I've had my disabilities since I was born and it's a part me.

  • My brain is quick and witty and wildly inappropriate.

  • And it also has Tourette's and at some point I decided not to just love parts of my brain.

  • "Let your kids ask us questions."

  • A lot of times I see kids staring at me.

  • That's okay with me.

  • I welcome it, kids are curious.

  • But what I struggle with is when a parent shushes them or quickly pulls them in the other direction.

  • When a child is hustled away from a person or hushed, it stigmatizes even just asking the question.

  • Because kids then associate disability with feeling ashamed.

  • If they've never seen anything like this before they're gonna look and if they have questions, let them ask.

  • There's nothing wrong with that.

  • So instead I hope that parents say things like: "How cool that we all move differently and walk differently and talk differently."

  • More than just like normalizing disability but celebrating it.

  • "We date."

  • We date, people with disabilities date!

  • And not always other people with disabilities.

  • Just because I have I disability doesn't mean I have to be paired with somebody with a disability.

  • Direct message to everyone in my life but if you're gonna set me up on a blind date please have more criteria than this guy also has a disability.

  • "Not all disabilities are the same."

  • Not every single person with a disability is in a wheelchair.

  • I am not in a wheelchair.

  • I've never been in a wheelchair.

  • "My disability isn't your inspiration."

  • If one more person calls me an inspiration after just meeting me, I'm gonna burn your house down.

  • We aren't inherently inspirational or brave because we are disabled.

  • We're just kind of the idea that people think about what when they say that.

  • It's okay to call me an inspiration once you know me or know something about me.

  • But genetics does not make me an inspiration.

  • Let me earn that word.

  • There are people who are actually doing amazing, brave things out there.

  • Whether they have a disability or not.

  • But it comes across to a disabled person as: "Wow! I'm so happy that I'm not in your shoes."

  • "Ask me if I need some help."

  • I get a lot of strangers trying to help me.

  • Up the steps by grabbing my arm or my waste or something.

  • And that's extremely inappropriate.

  • You can say, "Hey! Do you need some help?"

  • Rather than just either forcing my chair or ignoring me.

  • "I'm a 'person living with a disability.'"

  • It took me a while to actually call myself a person with a disability.

  • But I'm a person first.

  • Being an amputee is secondary.

  • I rather have somebody say I'm a person with a disability rather than being disabled because of the whole control and ownership issue.

  • I hear "differently abled".

  • The word is disability.

  • They used to call myself like differently abled and some people didn't like that.

  • And I'm just like, but I am different and their like no you're not and it took me a while to actually see that I was using very able-bodied terms.

  • It should be a descriptor.

  • Just like I'm right-handed, I have a disability.

  • "Be more open."

  • When we're talking about disabilities I hear the word that we wanna be accommodating, which is great.

  • Or we're working on tolerance.

  • Nobody wants to just be tolerated.

  • Like I tolerated those three years my sister was learning to play the trombone.

  • I tolerate going to the dentist.

  • None of these things are things I like, they're things I tolerate because I know that I have to deal with.

  • So there's such an important step in communities between opening the door to somebody with a disability and like embracing them and building a community with them in mind.

I so often hear people send the message like "Thank God that's not me!" when they see someone with a disability or like "Thank God! That's not me or my kid."

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