*DRAMATIC MUSIC*

OHHHHHHOOOHHHHHHHOOOO

Have you been cheating on me?!

Huffington Post what have you been DOUGHING?!

What is this?!

I wanna see how much you've cheated on me.

NO

Huffington Post how could you do this?!

I wanna read it

I trusted you, dammit

Pewds: Am I sweating? Marzia: Oh my god!

I-I feel like I'm sweating a little bit

*DING*

*Marzia reads on screen*

What is "bantering"?

*...*

You don't really reach out to girls for advice

YEAHHH!

You hear that?!!

We are good here

I don't reach out to women

Okay so I'm fine for now?

Yeah

P: whew! M:Wait there is 33 right?

Just 32 more to go

*DING*

*Pewds reads on screen*

Yeah - no you never give a tip to anyone so

THAT'S RIGHT I NEVER GIVE A TIP TO ANYONE

Waddup

Let's see Melanie what you got next

P: Is that who wrote it or..? M: It says Melanie

Oh, Melanie Berliet

I think the real title of this should really just be -

33 Ways ..

I am ...

M : Insecure? P : Insecure

About my boyfriend

And totally getting away with it...

M : Hmmm ...

*DING*

*Marzia reads on screen*

*Hufft ...*

I mean, I only know that you follow Taylor Swift...

I .. I unfollowed her.

YEAH! I PASSED!

Oh yeah, I remember when they hacked her and it came out that you guys were texting.

On twitter

And then you were like "Marzia have to tell you, that I've been -

NUMBA FOUR!

*Dramatic Music*

*Pewds reads on screen*

Oh yeah, but like, does any of these guy do it...

like, that's just weird

P : Who are you dating Melanie? M : Yeah, exactly. That's the real question here...

*DING*

P : Wait, this one is good...

*Pewds reads on screen*

Oh, so if you name someone their, not their name

M: Yeah

P: You are using code.

P: To make sure that they don't find out about it. M: So wait-

So for example, if you had Taylor Swift as a private contact

*Pewds cuts off Marzia* And I her as Tay Sway

That would be a code

Wow...

You should have really been worried if I did that

Oh yeah, for sure...

omg just let me double check on that

*DING*

*Marzia reads on screen*

This is such subtle things! WHO GIVES A SHIT?!

I mean I haven't done it, but who cares?!

WHO THE HELL CARES?!

*DING*

*Pewds reads on screen*

*Cringe in it's final form*

*DING*

*Marzia reads on screen*

Oh no...

What does that mean?!

It's if like, you know, when you ate too much hot sauce...

And you can home and you were worried that I was gonna get mad?

Oh yeah, you, I was so scared. It was half of the pain in my body.

*Marzia Laughs*

So maybe if you went to another girl an be like "What can I do?!"

To feel better, instead of asking me.

You know Melanie *thud* you're damn right about that one

You get that one. You should confide in your girlfriend.

Yeah

Jump high-five? *slapping noise*

*Marzia laughs*

nailed it, okay great

*DING*

*Pewds reads on screen*

WHAT?!

First of all, how do you come up with 33? It's so many things.

How do you think of all these things?

She must be really holding a grudge on someone, like thinking...

yeah

"MY EX-BOYFRIEND DID THIS!"

yeah

"HE DID THAT, AS WELL!"

*ominous music* And she just writing them and mailing these to him.

If it was like a friend of ours, like, if it's Emma or Sophie

And you say something nice to them. Really, cool.

But, I think its just strange if its someone you haven't met...

M: And you say that to someone P: I'm guilty

*muffled* spank me spank me.

NO! nononono! *spanking noise* ah! ow!

That's on my tail!

*DING*

*Pewds reads on screen*

Ooo that's bad

I get that one

Oh, Melanie you got a point over here

yeah

I find it really annoying when people do this.

P: Like, dude, your not fooling anyone. I know, I know what you're doing.

M: uh huh

P: I know what your doing here and let me tell you.

Even if you were single, no one wants your ugly ass.

M: wow alright

*DING*

*Marzia reads on screen*

M: Co...cohabi...bi...t..P: COHABITING

It's not that serious

That's what I say to my parents... when we....

Do your parents ask about us?

Yeah, I was like "Nah, we're not that serious,"

*Marzia laughs* - We've only been together for like 5...

P: 6 years, 5-6 years

M: yeah

"It's just a little thing we got going."

*DING*

*Pewds reads on screen*

*INTENSE MUSIC* OHHHH! NO!

UGH!

Why was that a bad thing?

OHMahGOD!

Why is that a bad thing?

NO!

Have you ever texted anyone "good morning" Marzia?

Why is that...

Have you ever texted any one "good morning"?

I'm afraid I have...

P:NOO! *Marzia laughs*

I'm sorry. I'm cheating on you...

UGHHHHHH!

What the hell, you're, really, you're reaching for it now.

Like...

What's wrong about "good morning"?

Sometimes you know, I just wanna write, maybe...

Like Nicole or my friends in Italy that I don't get to see that often.

M: That's how you start a conversation. P:Yeah

M: yeh

disgusting

*DING*

*Marzia reading text*

So like if you send a picture (P: WoaH!) of your ex-girlfriend?

P: Woah! Woah! Nonono

M:Woahwoah wha?

P: *heavily* HUH

M: What are you reading?

M: Unnecessarily!!

P: OHHH MYGODD!

M: so basically-

P: HAVE YOU EVER DONE THAT MARziaa..

I would Never sink that Low

M: I'm sorry...

I would, NEVER

say nice to meet you

to ANYONE

M: so you're just

P: ANYONE!! *distorted audio*

DisGUSTING!

P: WHEW...

M: But like this girl is basically saying that

this boyfriend has to be rude to every, girl, out there.

right?

M: So she can feel e- P: I can agree

P: You know. I don't want to completely bash

Good old,

Melanie

Berliet

But I..I can- I can agree with some of them...

If you make a list with thirty-THREE

M: Mmm.

P: You got plenty alright,

just cut some of them out M: yeah

M: Take the top ten.

P: How about Top Ten yeah just go for

top ten next time M: yeahh...

*Ding*

P: Going out of his way to do something nice for someone who's not his girlfriend.

You- So basi- you can, you can not have...

any...Friends, M: yeah. Basically, yeah

P: From the other gender. (M: yeah yeah yeah) At all.

P: You're not, that's not- allowed.

Just treat all women bad... M: yeah exactly

*Pewds laughs

M: And it's coming, from a woman.

P: And put me...

M: It's kinda ridiculous but...

P: Put me on the throne... and kiss my ass

M: yeah

I do agree with 17 though.

*Marzia reading text*

P: That's just a bit weird, yeah.

M: If you were like..

P: What does that m- if you tell someone (M: To a girl)

that... M: "I'm thinking about you"

P: Yeah...

M: That's, not-

P: Yeah... That's kind of

M: I do agree with that one

So we got 2 that- *inaudible*

P: So that's, that's Micro Cheating!

OHH!!

2017 micro cheating

M: *mumbling* I don't really see 'micro cheating'

P: Micro. *Marzia laughs*

If you get at least ten...

Ten of- ten of these

P: You are- M: It turns into cheating

P: It turns into cheating M: Mmm

M: Alright, that's why she needed a longer list

P: That's why she needed- *both laughing*

*Ding*

P: Establishing secret code words and, slash or inside jokes with women outside of hi-... the RelationSHIP

M: but that's- can just be like a-

P: hOW DARE YOU!

Have jokes, with other women!

M: Yeah

P: You having inside jokes, without me?

P: Huh?

But with Emma

*Pewds gasps*

She's cheating on me with another woman

M: Yeah.

*Pewds makes a rough noise*

P: Who is this. (M: Definitely.) Who IS THIS EMMA.

*Pewds gasps*

You know who (P: Em-) Emma is? *giggles*

P: Em. Mah

M: You're afraid

P: Eh- M:That I will run off with her (Oooh...MarziEmma)

Is it Emma...

Pickles?

M: Yeah~

*suspenseful music*

M: She looks, Goooooood.

That's Micro Cheating!

Eh- Yeah~

P: Yeah no have fun with this.

M: Hey!

*Pewds laughs*

M: That's my dream, alright?

Wait that's my tears!

What are you doing?

Salty....

*both laugh*

*calm music* P: I had never- I would never micro cheat at you Marzia

Yeah.

*Pewds sighs*

Well,

I gotta say, ah... I think,

But that's how you know, right?

This trust...*inaudible*

Pffftttttttt......

M: So cheesy

*Marzia laughs* P: I was jus about to say

that I don't *inaudible*...

I don't know. I think...with other girls

Ahah I, you know...w- I've been with other... *Marzia laughs*

P: A lot of women

M: A lot of women.

M: Mmm.

It's what you make it.

You- If you are with someone that does all this shit.

And it bothers you...

Don't write an article about it.

Just get outta that relationship.

M: yeah.

How 'bout that?

M: Mm-mm.