- Why do you call it a lifestyle?

- Like choosing to wear a dress?

- He lives by the beach, that's his lifestyle.

- It's not really a lifestyle. It's just my life.

Why is that when you find out that I'm gay,

you think that I want you?

- Standards, first of all.

- Everyone has a type. You might not be their type.

- Don't flatter yourself.

- Why are you so worried about

how I'm going to have kids?

- Why does it matter if I'm going to have kids or not?

- Technically, the world is overpopulated

and me not reproducing is helping you out.

- So if I want to have kids, I'm pretty sure

I can figure it out.

- Why do you feel the need to ask who's the man

and who's the woman in the relationship?

- Last I checked, we were both women.

- That's why we're together.

Both have lady parts.

- Why do you get offended if people ask if you're gay?

- Why would you be offended that someone thinks you're gay?

- I don't get offended when people think I'm straight.

- I mean, I kinda do.

- There are worse things.

How does it feel to be accurately represented in

everything?

- Every single show and film ever.

- Why is your definition of diversity a gay white man?

- I can't think of anyone who reminds me of me.

- The most that I had was Buffy.

And she was straight.

- Sailor Moon would probably be the closest

representation of a young gay Asian.

- Why is it that you have such a large dating pool?

- But still a really high divorce rate?

- Because it's real marriage because it's heterosexual.

- Why do you have to call it a gay wedding?

- It's just a wedding.

- It's just a wedding.

- Is it just so you can charge us more?

- If two black people were getting married,

would you call it a black wedding?

Why do you try to set us up with

the very next gay person you see?

- I don't try to set you up with

the other straight guy I know.

- We have Tinder or Grinder. What do gay ladies use?

Oh, we don't have one. Okay, never mind.

Thank you for trying to set us up. We need help.

- You have to take into account the percentage of women

that are interested in women and then

those precentage of women who I'm attracted to

and then those percentage of women who are attracted

to me and then those percentage of women

that you know, I have chemistry with

and that our personalities line up.

And that's like three women. Maybe.