Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles Get this email from my agent and she's like, "Yo we got an audition for you to go an audition for STAR WARS." *star wars soundtrack* Part of me was like, "Yo, it's bout frickin time!" The other part of me was like, *anime shocked noised* And they wouldn't tell me nothin, they wouldn't say if it was for Disney XD, for a movie, I didn't know So I'm walkin in there like *australian accent* "What's - what's my motivation, mate I don't know my characters headspace, nothing." Even the script was like talking in code, so I didn't know where to go with this Anyways, call uber. I go outside. Uber pulls up. You here for Adande? Yeah SKKKKKRRRRRRRRRT! Ok pause, rewind, pause, play. She turns around, super cute Asian girl With the softest lips I have ever SEEN Like bur-rahh LIPS She pulls off, we start talking. I'm cracking jokes, she's cracking jokes. Then, I'm like, you know what? I haven't eaten all day. So I say to her, "Yo, is it cool if I add a location? And we can go to In and Out before you take me home?" Oh yeah, of course! Put in the location. We drive to In and Out. The line for the drive through is wrapped around the building 57 times. So we go inside. Get the food and we're sitting out on a bench and I'm like "Is you nervous? Or nah?" "Why would I be nervous?" Adande: "This is our first date." "This is KIND of a big deal." She takes me home, gives me her number, Then about a week or two later I text her like, "I don't know if you're emotionally recovered from our first date, But let me know when you're ready for Date #2 We end up going bowling, get to the bowling alley and BOOM. LIPS. Just ALL UP IN MY FACE! LIPS! Lowlife, I've always wondered what it would be like To kiss an asian girl. This girls didn't even have, you know how people's lips have the lines? This girl didn't have a line, it looked like a glazed, pink, Donut. So we start bowling And I don't know if yall have noticed, the last 2 months I haven't been talkin bout girls have to prove to somma yall that I can make videos without girls bein the focus. But then now in my dm's everybody like: "WE WANT RATCHET GIRLS" ok here's about to get a little ratchet, ok? the moral of the story at the end of this video. So shes bowling and I'm beating her and then she's like: OK, no. I'm sucking right now because I'm sober Normally, I have a little bit of alcohol in my system. Oh? OK well let's make it interesting then. Every time I get a strike, you gotta take a shot Every time you get a strike, I gotta take a shot. But my limit is 4 4 is my limit too. Ball 3x She gets a strike. I take a shot. Ball 3x I get a strike. She takes a shot. Here's some live footage no clickbait. So she bowls, she walks by me, and then touches my inner thigh Part of me, I was like: Yo it's 'bout frickin time The other part of me was like: *weird gibberish* So we keep bowling by the time we leave, I've had three shots, she's had four shots. I only live 6 blocks away from the bowling alley So we're walking and then she starts leaning on me and a few seconds later this girl falls over and goes to sleep so I'm looking around, and I got 3 blocks to go So I pick her up in my arms *DUN* AND II It's one thing when you're carrying them with your arms around your neck When they're dead weight, IT'S NOT EASY So I get, like a block and a half, and this girl walks up to me like, *KAHEM* EXCUSE ME, WHERE ARE YOU GOING Home. *Scoffs* No you're not who is this girl? My friend. PUT HERDOWNRIGHTNOW I put her down and she's like hundi, hundi, wake up hundi, do you know this boy Do you know him? Squeeze my finger if this is your friend *Whispers* She squeezed it Hundi, hundi, solve this Rubix cube in under 10 seconds if this boy is your friend State your business, what are your intentions with this girl? I'm just trying to get home.... K? Uhh I don't know if I can carry her anymore, I got an idea tho. How about you guys stay here, thats my building like a block away I'm gunna get a cart and bring it back, and then I can wheel her back to my place UHNUNUNUNNUNO You're, we're, you're not going anywhere You wait here, Alfred! go to his building, get the cart Shoutout to this girl, cuz, yeah she's giving me total attitude, but, she's tryna protect a total strange girl that she doesn't know So we get the cart, I push her over to my building, we go up to my room, get her in the bathroom, and this girl just starts throwing up EVERYWHERE Like BLEHHH On the walls, on the floor, on the sink Okayyyy, kinda missed the toilet all together but it's whatever We get life alert on the phone, like Uhhhhh She probably ain't gon make it. So, I get a bunch of towels come back, and I go Fortnite on her Like I start building a fort, so even if she wakes up and starts throwing up, we're good I hop in bed, I go to sleep, I wake up the next day This girl's GONE Walk out to my kitchen, I look at my iPad and she wrote a letter in my notes Here's the actual letter, live footage no clickbait Uh, we're really good friends now, we didn't get to kiss on that date However, comma, she came over a month later and we made out for like two hours Finally got to kiss an asian girl, 10 outta 10 IGN would recommend *sound effect* *Outro music*
B1 US bowling girl yo strike date uber Took my Uber Driver on a Date (ft. AndreasChoice) 88 4 Andy Jiang posted on 2018/07/13 More Share Save Report Video vocabulary