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  • - How was your morning?

  • - I will be tired today.

  • - Oh wait, wait. Say tired again.

  • - Tired.

  • - He might be Asian.

  • - Do my voice sounds Asian?

  • - Yeah, did you not hear yourself?

  • (playful music)

  • - Hi my name is Marie.

  • - My name is Cedar and I am a writer.

  • - Mm-kay.

  • - That won't work for me because I sound white so

  • everyone will be like, "That's definitely a white kid.".

  • - I'm very sensitive about people's accent.

  • Just like, "Hey y'all how you doing?" (laughs)

  • - Oh, what?

  • Hold on a second.

  • If this gets freaky in any way.

  • - Alrighty.

  • - Yes.

  • - What's happening, man?

  • - Um is it okay if I judge you on these questions?

  • - [Man] Absolutely that's why we're all here.

  • - Okay, alright.

  • - I like the tone of your voice.

  • It stimulate my ear and that's makes my body so hot,

  • all of my body so hot.

  • - [Man] There you go.

  • - Did you grow up here in Seattle?

  • - No I'm from Kentucky.

  • - I think he's a black man.

  • Say something black.

  • - Black.

  • (laughing)

  • That's about the blackest thing I can think to say.

  • - He sounds like a college-educated black man.

  • - Do you have a favorite color?

  • - Orange.

  • - Do you like it because it goes with your skin tone well?

  • (laughing)

  • - Clever but no, it's because nothing really rhymes

  • with orange but as a rapper,

  • I find all kinds of things that rhyme with orange.

  • - Oh you rap, eh?

  • Hmm.

  • - Oh rap.

  • - It's just like that huh?

  • ♪ Olympian tried meter dash pepper the room with spread ♪

  • ♪ Over your head now uh the room is dead ♪

  • I don't know, I'm not a freestyle artist but.

  • - That sounds pretty good.

  • - This is a African-American male.

  • Kind of natural curly hair but not too much curly.

  • - And what about facial hair, do you think I have a beard?

  • - Oh facial hair, no, no no no no no no never.

  • - I'm gonna guess that you're African-American.

  • - Nobody says black anymore.

  • - I'll say black if that is preferable.

  • - It is to me.

  • - Okay. I think you are black.

  • - He sounds like he's wearing Vans.

  • I feel like he has like a fade.

  • Or no, maybe even dreads, and that's my final decision.

  • - Thank you. - Thank you.

  • - It was nice meeting you.

  • - Oh I'm gonna see everybody too afterwards, right?

  • - Hi there. - [Woman Guessing] Hi.

  • - How are you? - Good, how are you?

  • - [Woman With Tiny Voice] I'm good.

  • Are you nervous?

  • - Is this really how you talk, for real?

  • - For real.

  • - Okay I just didn't know if that--

  • (laughs)

  • - Are you okay?

  • - [Woman With Tiny Voice] I'm okay.

  • - Your voice, you have a worried voice.

  • - I'm not worried. - [Man] You're not worried?

  • - I can do this.

  • - [Man] Okay.

  • - Could you sing a song for me?

  • ♪ I know a little song ♪

  • ♪ It ain't very long ♪

  • ♪ Toodle dum toodle dum now it's all gone ♪

  • - Is this the person's real voice?

  • - You're walking on thin ice now.

  • (laughing)

  • - I don't know. This person, he sounds like a character.

  • Are you a male or a female?

  • Say, "Suck my dick."

  • (gasps)

  • - Why would I say that?

  • - Definitely a female, 'cause a male would have said it.

  • (laughing)

  • - Well, suck my dick!

  • (laughing)

  • - Oh! you guys got me!

  • Alright, I would say a woman.

  • (gasps)

  • (laughing) - Oh, shit.

  • - 21 years old, she's a college student.

  • What is your major in college?

  • - Drinking. - [Woman Guessing] Drinking?

  • - Yeah.

  • - You are in your 60's or 70's.

  • - You know them old lady curls?

  • Like she had rollers in her hair this morning.

  • - What you talking' about?

  • - Definitely white, like frail and skinny.

  • - Good luck with your college life.

  • - Thank you very much. - [Woman Guessing] Drinking.

  • - Yes.

  • - Bye college student! - Goodbye!

  • - Alright see you.

  • - Hi. - [Woman Guessing] Hello.

  • - How are you doing today?

  • - I love your voice.

  • I want to see your face.

  • - [French Man] But you can't right now.

  • - No.

  • - [French Man] Sorry.

  • - Can you do "Hey Diddle Diddle"?

  • - "Hey Diddle Diddle"?

  • - Yeah it's a nursery rhyme.

  • Okay how about "Mary Had A Little Lamb"?

  • - Mary had a what? - Lamb.

  • - [French Man] Lamb? - Like a baby sheep.

  • Okay so clearly nursery rhymes are not your thing.

  • - Are you wearing Old Spice?

  • - Uh, yes.

  • Why do you think though?

  • - I'm sorry? - Oh you smell it, right?

  • - What did you say? - Did you smell it?

  • - Oh he's definitely Latino

  • cause he can barely speak English.

  • - Could you say something nice to me?

  • Whisper for me?

  • - You look beautiful.

  • - Melting.

  • - How was your morning?

  • - I'll be tired today.

  • - Oh wait, you.

  • Wait, say tired again.

  • - Tired.

  • - He might be Asian.

  • - I think you're Cambodian.

  • - You sound like you're Asian.

  • You have an accent.

  • - Tall and medium body, exactly my type.

  • - [French Man] Thank you. - But, however,

  • I think you are gay.

  • - Wait, why do you think I'm gay?

  • - Because most of the nice looking guys, they are gay.

  • I don't know why. - Whoa! (laughs)

  • - Thank you. (giggling)

  • - [Woman] Hello. - Oh shit. Hello.

  • - How was your morning so far?

  • - I woke up and came here, basically.

  • - Came here.

  • Do you like Outback?

  • - Outback Steak House?

  • - Yep she's definitely Australia.

  • - Where do you think I'm from?

  • - Greek or Italy.

  • - Do you think I have an accent?

  • - No, mm-mm. - No accent.

  • - Light skin, light hair, Australian woman.

  • - I think you are female, I think you're white.

  • When I think Australian, I just think blonde,

  • so I'm guessing blonde.

  • - About 19 years old, you still live with your parents.

  • - Do I sound smart?

  • - Uh the way you said smart, yes.

  • - Cool, thank you.

  • - Smart.

  • - Hey.

  • - Hi, how's it going?

  • - [College Girl] Good, how are you?

  • - I am just great, thank you.

  • - [College Girl] Perfect.

  • Here smell me then.

  • - You smell like vanilla.

  • - Yeah I've got it.

  • - Oh you smells good. - Thank you!

  • It's Black Opium.

  • - [Woman Guessing] Oh. - Which is, it's from Sephora.

  • - Your voice and attitude is perfect for the salesperson.

  • - [College Girl] If you wear vanilla,

  • usually guys like that.

  • Listen listen listen!

  • - Oh no, uh-uh your voice is annoying.

  • - Oh my god.

  • - Listen listen listen listen, oh my god! (laughing)

  • This is the white chick.

  • She's definitely from The Valley.

  • - Do you like to dance?

  • - All the time.

  • Always at the club I'm the first to dance.

  • I get up on tables.

  • - Okay, slight exhibitionist.

  • - Definitely wanna party with me.

  • But you said I was annoying. - No, I do not.

  • - Why?

  • - 'Cause you're annoying.

  • It's very high pitched.

  • - No it's not!

  • - No it's not!

  • - Sometimes when I get really excited,

  • I just keep talking and going on and on.

  • I had a little headache but then

  • they had a bunch of drugs here

  • so then I just took a bunch of--

  • - Can you slow down?

  • - Sometimes my boyfriend really doesn't like it

  • coz out of the two of us, I talk the most.

  • - Do you talk like this all the time?

  • - Excuse me, yeah!

  • - Oh I mean, I was just wondering.

  • You sound like...

  • - I'm obviously nice.

  • - Yeah for sure, um.

  • - You are white and

  • I think that you like to show off your body.

  • - Booty shorts, definitely stops at Starbucks

  • at least twice a day.

  • - You are in a sorority

  • and you sound pretty white.

  • - Snookie.

  • Snookie, perfect example.

  • Bye.

  • - Bye.

  • - Oh she's wearing wedges.

  • - [College Girl] Yes, obviously.

  • - What up?

  • - What's up?

  • - [Man With Deep Voice] What's going on man?

  • - How you doing?

  • - Good I like your threes you got on.

  • I like your dress.

  • - Oh, thank you so much.

  • - Can you do your best bro accent for me?

  • - [Man With Deep Voice] What up bro?

  • - Oh gosh that's so low.

  • - I think you are African American male.

  • Like Lionel Richie.

  • (laughing)

  • - You live with your parents?

  • - Why do you think I live with my parents?

  • - Coz off the rip you just sound like a white kid

  • who probably lives with his parents.

  • - You could be a buff guy.

  • - I could also be super skinny.

  • - You could be like super skinny.

  • He's Asian, he's black, he's white, he's Islander.

  • He could be mixed.

  • - I'm seeing like a little scruff,

  • I'm seeing that you're tall.

  • White.

  • I bet you have like, kinda long bangs.

  • - Bangs?

  • - No you know like the skater swoosh?

  • - Oh okay. - Swooshy.

  • - How old do you think I am?

  • - Oh 48.

  • Divorced one time.

  • (laughter)

  • Two children. - Two kids?

  • - [Woman Guessing] U-huh.

  • - Wow, I'm a dad! Alright.

  • - Okay. - Bye bye.

  • - Bye.

  • - Hi.

  • - Do you think you have a unique voice?

  • - No, do you think you have a unique voice?

  • - No I think you have a unique voice though.

  • - Have you ever been pulled over by the police?

  • - Indeed I have.

  • - Where you just kind of minding your own business

  • and pulled over or--

  • - [Woman] So I thought. - Okay, okay.

  • - Do I have an attractive voice?

  • - Yes you do.

  • - Oh, would you pay to hear me talk on the phone?

  • - Whoa!

  • (laughing)

  • - Can you please say "I wish a motherfucker would."?

  • - I wish a motherfucker would.

  • (laughing)

  • - She's so white.

  • - I'm guessing you're African American

  • and I think you're probably attractive.

  • - I think you are the type of person who likes to spend time

  • watching the NASCAR on Sunday afternoon.

  • A little bit chubby and short.

  • She is doing like a labor work.

  • - You know who you remind?

  • Okay, the Long Island medium,

  • that's who I think that you probably look like.

  • Bye.

  • - Bye it was very nice meeting you.

  • - Is it okay?

  • - Very interesting.

  • I think I got the Asian guy right.

  • And Snookie.

  • - I am, I am indeed.

  • - Awesome, okay I obviously got some things wrong.

  • Were you the Australian in the yellow sweater?

  • - Uh, black woman.

  • - [Woman Guessing] Oh!

  • - Are you from the east coast?

  • Yeah, you could hear it.

  • - When you went Long Island medium I was like, oh.

  • - Maybe?

  • Yeah, yeah? - I'm the Australian.

  • - Oh high five, alright.

  • - Five.

  • Most people are very surprised to meet an Asian Australian

  • which was weird to me coz in Australia,

  • we have a lot of Asian Australians.

  • - The white guy with the deep voice?

  • I'm thinking it's you.

  • - It is me. - [Woman Guessing] It's you?

  • Okay I was right. - But I'm not white.

  • - That is true, you are not.

  • But you definitely have the like, casual skater thing going.

  • You even have the skater hair so I got that right.

  • - Where are you from?

  • - From Oahu, born and raised.

  • You thought I looked like Lionel Richie.

  • - Who was the frail voice?

  • - Me.

  • - I was like, it's the pedophile from Family Guy.

  • - Want some ice cream?

  • - I'm 21 years old.

  • (laughing)

  • - You get the Family Guy a lot?

  • Do people say you sound like that?

  • - No, not never but they say things about my voice

  • but I haven't got that one.

  • - The one that I thought was Cambodian,

  • I'm actually guessing is you

  • and you are not Cambodian.

  • - Say something.

  • - First he said I was Latino.

  • - Okay, so where are you from?

  • - Whoa!

  • - Oui.

  • - (gasps) Melting!

  • - Uh, not really.

  • - Really?

  • I feel like you would get treated a little bit better

  • coz they're like,

  • "Oh, he's just not a regular black American."

  • (laughing)

  • - So who has black man no facial hair?

  • - That was me.

  • - Oh that was you? (laughing)

  • - I felt you were definitely a black man with dreads.

  • How did you feel being known as a black man?

  • - I mean, it's not the first time

  • I've heard that, obviously.

  • You know, white rapper.

  • - See, has it ever affected your job?

  • - I've never been victimized by discrimination

  • because my voice sounds black

  • but that's probably because interviews are done in person.

  • - Did I tell you that you were working at the Sephora?

  • Oh, okay. - Yeah.

  • That was me.

  • I do computer programming.

  • Keep getting called white.

  • I think that's like farthest from--

  • Well, I mean maybe, I don't know.

  • - I got the short shorts right!

  • - You did get the short shorts right!

  • - And the wedges.

  • I think I technically got her right.

  • - Yeah.

  • - I said she's very Snookie.

  • (dramatic music)

  • What do you think of my voice?

  • - Are you gay?

  • - Yeah. - I could tell.

  • - Oh, you could tell.

  • I can tell, I can tell!

  • Asian man can tell!

  • It was nice meeting you guys.

  • - You got it all.

  • (laughing)

  • - Long Island, like, oh shit!

- How was your morning?

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