I am in your friendship circle hidden in plain sight.

你認識我。

My clothes are still impeccable --

我就藏在你朋友圈中不顯眼的地方。

bought in the good years when I was still making money.

我的衣著無可挑剔——

To look at me you would not know

它們是我在還會賺錢的 那段黃金歲月所買下的。

that my electricity was cut off last week for nonpayment,

光看著我，你不會知道

or that I meet the eligibility requirements for food stamps.

我上週已經因為沒繳電費被斷電，

But if you paid attention,

也不會知道我已經符合 可以領食物券的條件了。

you would see that sadness in my eyes --

但若你有留意，

hear that hint of fear in my otherwise self-assured voice.

你會看到我眼中的悲傷——

These days I'm buying the $1.99 trial-size jug of Tide

在我原本自信的聲音中 聽到些許的恐懼。

to make ends meet.

這些日子，我會買 1.99 美元的 汰漬洗衣精試用罐，

I bet you didn't know laundry detergent came in that size.

讓收支能平衡。

You invite me to the same expensive restaurants

我打賭你不知道洗衣精 還有那種大小的包裝。

the two of us have always enjoyed,

你邀請我到同一間昂貴的餐廳，

but I order mineral water now with a twist of lemon,

我們兩個人一向很享受在那裡用餐，

not the 12-dollar glass of chardonnay.

但我現在會點礦泉水 加上螺旋檸檬皮，

I am frugal in my menu choices.

而不是一杯 要價 12 美元的白葡萄酒。

Meticulous, I count every penny in my head.

點餐時我盡量少花錢。

I demur dividing the table bill evenly to cover desserts and designer coffees

我在腦中小心翼翼地 計算著每一分錢。

and second and third glasses of wine I did not consume.

我反對平分帳單，因為帳單裡頭 包含了甜點、特調咖啡，

I am tired of trying to fake appearances.

及第二和第三杯紅酒， 都不是我消費的。

A friend told me that I'm broke not poor, and there is a difference.

我好厭倦要在表面上作假。

I live without cable, my gym membership

朋友告訴我，我是破產而非貧窮， 兩者是有差別的。

and nail appointments.

我的生活中沒有 有線電視、健身房會籍，

I've discovered I can do my own hair.

及美甲的預約。

There is no retirement savings,

我發現我可以自己做頭髮。

no nest egg.

沒有退休存款，

I exhausted that long ago.

沒有儲蓄金。

There is no expensive condo to draw equity

我很早以前就把它花光了。

and no husband to back me up.

沒有昂貴的公寓可以貸款變現，

Months of slow pay and no pay have decimated my credit.

也沒有丈夫可以倚靠。

Bill collectors call constantly,

數個月來帳單不是遲繳就是沒繳， 讓我的信用受到重挫。

reading verbatim from a script

催帳的人常常打電話來，

before expressing polite sympathy for my plight

照本宣科地唸著催款稿後，

and then demanding payment arrangements I can't possibly meet.

才禮貌性地對我的困境表示同情，

Friends wonder privately how someone so well educated

接著要求我履行 無法如期償付的還款計畫。

could be in economic free fall.

朋友們私下納悶著， 我受過這麼好的教育，

I'm still as talented as ever and smart as a whip,

怎麼可能在經濟上摔得這麼慘。

but work is sketchy now,

我還是一樣有才華、一樣機敏，

mostly on and off consulting gigs.

但工作有一餐沒一餐，

At 55 I've learned how to fake cheeriness,

大部分是時有時無的諮詢案件。

but there are not many opportunities for work anymore.

在 55 歲時，我學會了假裝開心，

I don't remember exactly when it stopped,

但工作機會已經不多了。

but I cannot deny now having entered

我無法明確記得是何時停止的，

the uncertain world of formerly and used to be.

但我無法否認我已經進入了

I'm not sure anymore where I belong.

以前曾經歷過的不穩定、 無常的情況中了。

What I do know is that dozens of online job applications

我再也不確定我的歸屬在哪裡。

seem to just disappear into a black hole.

我確切知道的是， 數十張線上工作應徵申請表

I'm wondering what is to become of me.

似乎都石沉大海。

So far my health has held up,

我很納悶我之後會變成什麼樣子。

but my body aches -- or is it my spirit?

目前我的健康還過得去，

Homeless women used to be invisible to me

但我身體的疼痛—— 還是其實是心靈的痛？

but I appraise them now with curious eyes,

我以前都看不見無家可歸的女性，

wondering if their stories started like mine.

但現在我會用好奇的目光 來揣度她們，

I wrote this piece a year ago.

納悶她們故事的一開始 是否也和我一樣。

It's a composite of my story and other women I know.

我一年前寫了這篇作品。

I wrote it because I was tired of pretending

它包含了我的故事 以及我認識的其他女性。

I was all right when I wasn't.

我之所以寫下它是因為我厭倦了

I was tired of faking normal.

當我失意落魄時還要假裝過得不錯。

I wasn't seeing myself in the popular press.

我厭倦了假裝一切安好如常。

Nobody I knew was traveling the world or buying a condo in Costa Rica.

我沒有在主流新聞中看見我自己。

Very few of my friends had set aside the 15 to 20 percent

我不認識任何環遊世界的人 或在哥斯大黎加買公寓的人。

experts tell us we need to maintain our standard of living in retirement.

幾乎沒有朋友聽從專家的建議， 將收入的 15% 到 20 % 存下來，

My friends, many in their 50s and 60s,

以便在退休後能維持 我們既有的生活水平。

were looking at a downward mobility,

我許多朋友都已經五、六十歲了，

a work-for-life proposition,

他們要面臨的是行動力下降，

just a job loss, medical diagnosis or divorce away from insolvency.

考慮是否要終身工作，

We may not have hit rock bottom,

只要一次失業、一次醫療診斷 或一次離婚，就會破產。

but many of us saw a sequence of events

我們可能還沒有跌到谷底，

where rock bottom was possible for the first time.

但我們當中許多人 都經歷了一連串的事件，

And the truth is, it really doesn't take much.

讓他們第一次覺得， 跌到谷底是有可能的。

The median household in the US

事實是，要跌到谷底並不難。

only has enough savings to replace one month of income.

美國的一般家庭

Forty-seven percent of us

存款只足夠代替一個月的收入。

cannot pull together 400 dollars to deal with an emergency.

我們當中有 47% 的人

That's almost half of us.

無法湊出 400 美元 來處理緊急事件。

A major car repair and we're standing on the abyss.

那幾乎是一半的人了。

You wouldn't know it to look around you --

若車子需要一次大翻修 我們就已站在深淵邊緣了。

I'm not the only one in this situation.

看看你四周，你不會知道——

There are people in this room who are in the same predicament,

我並不是唯一處在這種情況的人。

and if it's not you,

在這間房間中也有人 和我有相同的困境，

it is your parents or your sister or maybe your best friend.

如果不是你，

We get good at faking normal.

也可能是你的父母、 你的姐妹或你最好的朋友。

Shame keeps us silent and siloed.

我們都很擅長假裝一切安好。

When I first decided I was going to come out with my story,

羞恥感讓我們保持沉默和孤立。

I did a website

當我最初決定要出來 講述我的故事時，

and a friend noticed that there were no photos of me --

我設了一個網站，

it was all kind of cartoons like this.

一個朋友注意到 網站上沒有我的照片——

Even as I was coming out,

上面都是像這樣的漫畫。

I was still hiding.

即使我站出來了，

We live in a world where success is defined by income.

我也還在躲藏。

When you say that you have money problems,

在我們所居住的世界中， 成功是由收入來定義的。

you're announcing pretty much that you're a loser.

當你說你有金錢方面的問題時，

When you're a graduate of Harvard Business School as I am,

你差不多就等於是 宣佈你是個失敗者了。

you're some kind of double loser.

當你跟我一樣 是哈佛商學院的畢業生，

We boomers hear a lot about how we have underfunded our retirement;

你就是某種雙重失敗者。

how it's all our fault.

我們這些嬰兒潮出生的人， 常聽到我們所提撥的退休金不足，

Why on earth would we draw down our 401(k) plan to cover the shortfall

說錯全都在我們。

on our mother-in-law's nursing home care,

到底為什麼要提領我們 401(k) 退休福利計畫的錢，

or to pay for our kid's tuition, or just to survive?

去補足我們親家母 在養老院的照護赤字，

We're accused of being poor planners and deadbeats --

或是支付我們孩子的學費， 或只是用來生存？

all that money we spent on lattes and bottled water.

我們被指控是很不懂規劃的人 及遊手好閒的人——

To shame and blame is so deliciously tempting.

所有的錢都花在拿鐵和瓶裝水上。

Many of us don't even wait for others to do it

羞辱和責怪別人是如此誘人。

we're so busy doing it to ourselves.

許多人甚至還沒等別人這麼做，

I say let's own our part:

就自己先自責起來了。

we all could have saved more.

我認為大家應各自反省：

I know I could have saved more,

我們原本可以存更多錢。

and if you were to rifle through my life over the last 30 years,

我知道我本來可以存更多，

you would see more than one dumb thing I have done financially.

如果你能快速看 我過去三十年的人生，

I can't change that now

你就會看到我在財務上 做的蠢事不只一樁。

and neither can you,

我現在無法改變過去，

but let's not mix up individual, isolated behavior

你也不能，

with the systemic factors

但不要把個別、獨立的行為

that have caused a 7.7-trillion-dollar retirement income gap.

和造成退休金 7.7 兆美元缺口的

Millions of boomer-age Americans did not land here

系統因子搞混。

because of too many trips to Starbucks.

美國數百萬名嬰兒潮的人

We spent the last three decades dealing with flat and falling wages

並不是因為太常去星巴克 而落到這步田地。

and disappearing pensions

過去三十年間， 我們面臨著通膨、下跌的薪資、

and through-the-roof cost

消失的退休金，

on housing and health care and education.

以及房價、醫療保健

It used to not be like this.

和教育費用的飆升飛漲。

We all remember the three-legged retirement income stool

以前並不是這個樣子的。

which had the savings and pension and social security.

我們都還記得退休收入的三腳凳，

Well, that stool has gone wobbly.

它有儲蓄、退休金和社會福利。

Take savings -- what savings?

而那張凳子開始晃動了。

For many families,

比如儲蓄——什麼儲蓄？

there's just nothing left to save after the bills have been paid.

對許多家庭來說，

The pension leg of the stool has also gone wobbly.

付完帳單就已無餘錢可供儲蓄了。

We can remember when many people had pensions.

凳子的「退休金」 那隻腳也開始晃動。

Today only 13 percent of American workers are employed by companies that offer them.

我們還記得以前很多人有退休金。

So what did we get instead?

現今美國只有 13% 的工作者 受僱於會支付他們退休金的公司。

We got 401(k)-type plans

那我們反而得到什麼？

and suddenly responsibility for retirement planning got shifted

我們得到了401(k) 的 退休福利計畫，

from our companies to us.

還突然把退休計畫的責任

We got the reigns but we also got the risk,

從公司移轉到我們個人身上。

and it turns out that millions of us just aren't that good

我們得到了支配權， 但也得承擔風險，

at voluntarily investing over 40 years.

結果發現我們有 數百萬人在 40 年間

Millions of us just aren't that good at managing market risk.

並非那麼擅長做自主性投資。

And really the numbers tell the story.

我們有數百萬人就是 不那麼擅長管理市場風險。

Half of all American households have no retirement savings at all.

真的，數字會說話。

That would be zero.

半數的美國家庭完全沒有退休儲蓄。

No 401(k), no IRA, not a dime.

那就是 0 存款。

Among 55-to-64-year-olds who do have a retirement account,

沒有401(k) 退休福利計畫、 沒有個人退休帳戶，一分錢都沒有。

the median value of that account is 104,000 dollars.

在 55 到 64 歲之間 確實有退休帳戶的人口中，

Now, 104,000 dollars does sound better than zero,

存款的中位數是 104,000 美元。

but as an annuity, it generates about 300 dollars.

104,000 美元聽起來 的確比 0 美元更好。

I don't have to tell you that you can't live on that.

但作為退休年金， 它的月領金額大約是 300 美元。

With savings down,

不用我說，你們也知道 這錢不夠生活。

pensions becoming a relic of the past

隨著儲蓄下降，

and 401(k) plans failing millions of Americans,

退休金已經名存實亡，

many near-retirees are dependent on social security

而 401(k) 退休福利計畫 讓數百萬的美國人失望了，

as their retirement plan.

許多快退休的人要仰賴社會福利

But here's the problem.

來當他們的退休計畫。

Social security was never supposed to be the retirement plan.

但問題來了。

It's not nearly enough.

社會福利從來就不應該 被當作退休計畫。

At best it replaces something like 40 percent

它不夠，且還差得遠。

of your pre-retirement income.

它頂多能提供你

Things have changed a lot

退休前 40% 薪資的金額。

from when social security was introduced back in 1935.

從 1935 年社會福利 開始施行之後，

Then, a 21-year-old male had a 50 percent chance

世事發生了許多變化。

of living until he was 65.

當年，21 歲的男性 有 50% 的機率

So he retired at 60,

可以活到 65 歲。

did a little fishing, kissed his grandkids,

所以他 60 歲會退休，

got his gold watch --

去釣釣魚，親親他的孫子孫女，

he'd be dead within five years of receiving benefits.

買一隻金錶——

That's not the pattern today.

在領了五年的福利金之後， 他就會死亡了。

If you're in your late 50s and in good health,

現今的模式不是這樣的。

you're going to live easily another 20 or 25 years.

如果你快要 60 歲 且健康狀況不錯，

That's a really long time to make ends meet

你很容易可以 再活個 20 到 25 年。

if you are broke.

如果這時你破產了，

So what's the play if you've landed here

你將有漫漫長路要去維持收支平衡。

and you're 50 or 55 or 60?

所以，如果你是在 50、55 或 60 歲

What's the play if you don't want to land here

遇到這種情況，該怎麼做？

and you're 22 or 32?

如果你現在是 22 或 32 歲，

Here's what I've learned from my own experience.

不想淪落到這地步，又該怎麼做呢？

The cavalry's not coming.

以下是我從自身經驗學到的。

There is no big rescue,

沒有救兵會來救你。

no prince charming,

沒有什麼大救援，

no big bailout in the works.

沒有什麼白馬王子，

To have a shot at something other than being old and poor in America,

也沒有大型財務救濟計畫。

we're going to have to save ourselves and each other.

在美國，若想要有機會 脫離又老又窮的狀態，

I've had to come out of the shadows,

我們就得要拯救自己和彼此。

stand here openly,

我已從陰影底下走出來，

and I'm inviting you to do so as well.

公開站在這裡，

I'm not going to tell you that it's not easy.

我也邀請各位這麼做。

I ventured though to tell my story

我不會告訴你們這不容易。

because I thought it would make it a little easier for people to tell theirs.

我冒險說出我的故事

I think it's only through our strength in numbers

是因為我認為這樣做能讓大家 較容易說出自己的故事。

that we can begin to change the national "la-la" conversation

我想也只能靠群聚眾人之力，

that we are having on this retirement crisis.

我們才能開始改變國家 針對這個退休危機

With so many of us shell-shocked and adrift about what has happened to us,

和我們所進行的「不切實際」對談。

we're going to have to build up from the grassroots,

鑒於我們對於所經歷過的事 都已感到身心俱疲和無所適從，

forming what I think are resilience circles.

因此我們得從根本開始建立起，

These are small groups of people coming together

形成我心中的恢復圈。

to talk about what has happened to them,

恢復圈就是由人們組成的小群體，

to share resources and information

聚在一起談論發生在他們身上的事，

and to begin to figure out a way forward.

分享資源和資訊

I believe from this base that we can find our voices again

並開始找出能向前行的方法。

and sound the alarm --

我相信在這個基礎之上， 我們就能再次為自己發聲

start pushing our institutions and policymakers

並敲響警鐘——

to go hard on this retirement crisis with the urgency it deserves.

開始督促我們的機構和政策制定者，

In the meantime --

努力處理這個具急迫性的退休危機。

and there is an "in the meantime" --

同時——

we're going to have to adopt a live-low-to-the-ground mindset,

還有個「同時」——

drastically cutting back on our expenses.

我們得要有節儉度日的心態，

And I don't mean just living within our means.

大大縮減我們的開銷。

A lot of people are already doing that.

我的意思並不只是量入為出。

What is called for now is to,

很多人已經那麼做了。

in a much deeper way,

在更深層的意義上，

ask ourselves what it really means

現在需要做的，

to live a life that is not defined by things.

是要問問我們自己，

I call it "smalling up."

擺脫物質束縛的人生真諦為何。

Smalling up is figuring out what you really need

我稱它是「簡約且具質感」。

to feel contented and grounded.

簡質的生活就是要找出讓自己感到

I have a friend who drives really beat-up, raggedy cars,

真正滿足和踏實的必要需求。

but he will scrimp and save 15,000 dollars at one point

我有個朋友開著一台破銅爛鐵的車，

to buy a flute

但他省吃儉用， 直到存夠了 15,000 美元

because music is what really matters to him.

就去買一支長笛，

He smalled up.

因為音樂對他來說才是真正重要的。

I've had to also let go of magical thinking --

他過著簡約卻具質感的生活。

this idea that if I just was patient enough

我也得拋開不切實際的想法——

and tightened my belt

以為如果我能有足夠的耐心

that things would go back to normal.

並束緊腰帶，

If I just sent in one more CV

一切就會回到以前的常態。

or applied to one more job online

如果我再寄出一份簡歷表，

or attended one more networking event

或是再上網多申請一個工作，

that surely I'd get the kind of job I was used to having.

或是再去參加一場人脈交流的活動，

Surely things would return to normal.

那我肯定就可以找到 以前做的那種工作。

The truth is I'm not going back and neither are you.

一切肯定就會回歸常軌。

The normal that we knew is over.

事實是我回不去了，你們也一樣。

In this new place that we are,

我們所知道的正常已經結束了。

we're going to be asked to do things that we don't want to do.

在我們現在所處的新階段，

We're going to be asked to take assignments

我們會被要求做我們不想做的事。