When I was a kid,

當我還是個孩子的時候

I hid my heart under the bed, because my mother said,

我把心藏在床下，因為母親說。

"If you're not careful, someday someone's going to break it."

"如果你不小心，總有一天會有人打破它。"

Take it from me. Under the bed is not a good hiding spot.

拿去吧床底下不是一個好的藏身之處。

I know because I've been shot down so many times

我知道是因為我被擊落過很多次了

I get altitude sickness just from standing up for myself.

我自己站起來就會暈高空。

But that's what we were told.

但這是我們被告知的。

Stand up for yourself.

站在自己的立場上。

And that's hard to do if you don't know who you are.

如果你不知道自己是誰，那就很難做到。

We were expected to define ourselves at such an early age,

我們被期望在這麼小的時候就定義自己。

and if we didn't do it, others did it for us.

如果我們不做，別人就幫我們做。

Geek. Fatty. Slut. Fag.

宅男胖子。蕩婦。同志

And at the same time we were being told what we were,

而同時我們也被告知我們是什麼人。

we were being asked,

我們被要求。

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"你長大後想做什麼？"

I always thought that was an unfair question.

我一直認為這是個不公平的問題。

It presupposes that we can't be what we already are.

它的前提是，我們不能成為我們已有的東西。

We were kids.

我們還是孩子。

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a man.

當我還是個孩子的時候，我想成為一個男人。

I wanted a registered retirement savings plan

我想要一個註冊的退休儲蓄計劃

that would keep me in candy long enough to make old age sweet.

這將使我在糖果足夠長的時間，使老年甜蜜。

When I was a kid, I wanted to shave.

當我還是個孩子的時候，我想刮鬍子。

Now, not so much.

現在，沒有那麼多。

When I was eight, I wanted to be a marine biologist.

當我八歲時，我想成為一名海洋生物學家。

When I was nine, I saw the movie "Jaws,"

當我九歲的時候，我看了電影 "大白鯊"。

and thought to myself, "No, thank you."

心想："不，謝謝你。"

And when I was 10, I was told that my parents left because they didn't want me.

而在我10歲的時候，有人告訴我，我的父母離開了，因為他們不想要我。

When I was 11, I wanted to be left alone.

當我11歲的時候，我想一個人待著。

When I was 12, I wanted to die. When I was 13, I wanted to kill a kid.

當我12歲的時候，我想死。當我13歲的時候，我想殺一個孩子。

When I was 14, I was asked to seriously consider a career path.

在我14歲的時候，有人讓我認真考慮職業道路。

I said, "I'd like to be a writer."

我說："我想成為一名作家。"

And they said, "Choose something realistic."

他們說："選擇一些現實的東西。"

So I said, "Professional wrestler."

所以我說，"職業摔跤手"。

And they said, "Don't be stupid."

他們說："別傻了。"

See, they asked me what I wanted to be,

你看，他們問我想成為什麼。

then told me what not to be.

然後告訴我不應該是什麼。

And I wasn't the only one.

而且我不是唯一的一個。

We were being told that we somehow must become

我們被告知，我們必須以某種方式成為。

what we are not, sacrificing what we are

捨我其誰

to inherit the masquerade of what we will be.

來繼承我們將成為的假面。

I was being told to accept the identity

我被告知要接受這個身份

that others will give me.

別人會給我。

And I wondered, what made my dreams so easy to dismiss?

我在想，是什麼讓我的夢想如此容易被否定？

Granted, my dreams are shy,

授予，我的夢想是害羞的。

because they're Canadian. (Laughter)

因為他們是加拿大人。(笑聲)

My dreams are self-conscious and overly apologetic.

我的夢境是自覺的，過分的歉意。

They're standing alone at the high school dance,

他們獨自站在高中舞會上。

and they've never been kissed.

他們從來沒有被親吻。

See, my dreams got called names too.

你看，我的夢也被人罵了。

Silly. Foolish. Impossible.

愚蠢的。愚蠢的。不可能的。

But I kept dreaming.

但我一直在做夢。

I was going to be a wrestler. I had it all figured out.

我本來是要成為一個摔跤手的。我都想好了

I was going to be The Garbage Man.

我本來是要做垃圾人的。

My finishing move was going to be The Trash Compactor.

我的收官之作是《垃圾壓縮器》。

My saying was going to be, "I'm taking out the trash!"

我的說法是："我在倒垃圾！"

(Laughter) (Applause)

(笑聲) (掌聲)

And then this guy, Duke "The Dumpster" Droese,

然後這個傢伙，"垃圾箱 "杜克-德魯斯。

stole my entire shtick.

偷了我的全部伎倆。

I was crushed, as if by a trash compactor.

我被壓扁了，就像被垃圾壓縮器壓扁了一樣。

I thought to myself, "What now? Where do I turn?"

我心想："現在怎麼辦？我該去哪裡？"

Poetry.

詩詞。

Like a boomerang, the thing I loved came back to me.

就像一個迴旋鏢，我愛的東西又回到了我的身邊。

One of the first lines of poetry I can remember writing

我記得我寫的第一句詩是這樣寫的

was in response to a world that demanded I hate myself.

是為了迴應一個要求我恨自己的世界。

From age 15 to 18, I hated myself

從15歲到18歲，我一直都很討厭自己

for becoming the thing that I loathed: a bully.

因為成為了我所厭惡的東西：一個惡霸。

When I was 19, I wrote,

當我19歲的時候，我寫。

"I will love myself despite the ease with which

"我會愛我自己，儘管我很容易...

I lean toward the opposite."

我傾向於相反的方向。"

Standing up for yourself doesn't have to mean

站在自己的立場上，並不意味著...

embracing violence.

擁抱暴力，

When I was a kid,

當我還是個孩子的時候

I traded in homework assignments for friendship,

我用作業換來了友誼。

then gave each friend a late slip for never showing up on time,

然後給每個朋友開了一張遲到單，因為他們從來沒有按時出現過。

and in most cases not at all.

而在大多數情況下，根本沒有。

I gave myself a hall pass to get through each broken promise.

我給了自己一個殿堂級的通行證，讓自己度過每一個違背承諾的日子。

And I remember this plan, born out of frustration

我還記得這個計劃，源於挫敗感

from a kid who kept calling me "Yogi,"

從一個一直叫我 "Yogi "的孩子，

then pointed at my tummy and said, "Too many picnic baskets."

然後指著我的肚子說："野餐籃子太多了。"

Turns out it's not that hard to trick someone,

原來要騙一個人並不難。

and one day before class, I said,

並在上課前一天，我說。

"Yeah, you can copy my homework,"

"對，你可以抄我的作業"。

and I gave him all the wrong answers

我給了他所有錯誤的答案

that I'd written down the night before.

我前一天晚上寫下來的。

He got his paper back expecting a near-perfect score,

他拿到試卷後，期待著一個近乎完美的分數。

and couldn't believe it when he looked across the room at me and held up a zero.

當他看著對面的我，舉起一個零的時候，不敢相信。

I knew I didn't have to hold up my paper of 28 out of 30,

我知道我不用撐起我那張30分中的28分的試卷。

but my satisfaction was complete when he looked at me, puzzled,

但當他看著我，疑惑地看著我時，我的滿足感就完成了。

and I thought to myself, "Smarter than the average bear, motherfucker."

我想，"比一般的熊更聰明，混蛋。"

(Laughter) (Applause)

(笑聲) (掌聲)

This is who I am.

這就是我。

This is how I stand up for myself.

我就是這樣站出來的。

When I was a kid,

當我還是個孩子的時候

I used to think that pork chops and karate chops were the same thing.

我以前一直以為豬排和空手道排是一回事。

I thought they were both pork chops.

我以為他們都是豬排。

And because my grandmother thought it was cute,

而且因為我奶奶覺得很可愛。

and because they were my favorite, she let me keep doing it.

因為他們是我的最愛，她讓我繼續做下去。

Not really a big deal.

其實也沒什麼大不了的。

One day, before I realized fat kids are not designed to climb trees,

有一天，我才發現胖孩子不是為了爬樹而設計的。

I fell out of a tree and bruised the right side of my body.

我從樹上摔了下來，身體右側有淤青。

I didn't want to tell my grandmother about it

我不想告訴我奶奶這件事

because I was scared I'd get in trouble for playing somewhere I shouldn't have been.

因為我怕我在不該去的地方玩會惹上麻煩。

A few days later, the gym teacher noticed the bruise,

幾天後，體育老師發現了這塊淤青。

and I got sent to the principal's office.

我被送到了校長辦公室。

From there, I was sent to another small room

從那裡，我被送到了另一個小房間裡

with a really nice lady who asked me all kinds of questions about my life at home.

和一位非常好的女士，她問了我各種關於我在家生活的問題。

I saw no reason to lie.

我覺得沒有理由撒謊。

As far as I was concerned, life was pretty good.

在我看來，生活還算不錯。

I told her, whenever I'm sad, my grandmother gives me karate chops.

我告訴她，每當我傷心的時候，我奶奶就會給我空手道的劈腿。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

This led to a full-scale investigation,

這導致了一場全面的調查。

and I was removed from the house for three days,

而我也被趕出家門三天。

until they finally decided to ask how I got the bruises.

直到他們最後決定問我怎麼會有瘀傷。

News of this silly little story quickly spread through the school,

這個傻乎乎的小故事很快在學校裡傳開了。

and I earned my first nickname:

我贏得了我的第一個綽號。

Porkchop.

豬排。

To this day, I hate pork chops.

直到今天，我還討厭豬排。

I'm not the only kid who grew up this way,

我不是唯一一個這樣長大的孩子。

surrounded by people who used to say that rhyme

周圍的人都說，這句話很好聽

about sticks and stones,

關於棍棒和石頭。

as if broken bones hurt more than the names we got called,

彷彿骨折的傷害比我們得到的名字更多。

and we got called them all.

我們得到了叫他們所有。

So we grew up believing no one would ever fall in love with us,

所以我們從小就相信沒有人會愛上我們。

that we'd be lonely forever,

我們將永遠孤獨。

that we'd never meet someone to make us feel like the sun

我們永遠不會遇到讓我們覺得像太陽一樣的人。

was something they built for us in their toolshed.

是他們在他們的工具房裡為我們建造的東西。

So broken heartstrings bled the blues, and we tried to empty ourselves so we'd feel nothing.

所以斷裂的心絃流淌著藍色的血液，我們試圖放空自己，這樣我們就會毫無感覺。

Don't tell me that hurt less than a broken bone,

別告訴我這比骨折還疼。

that an ingrown life is something surgeons can cut away,

內生的生命是外科醫生可以切掉的。

that there's no way for it to metastasize; it does.

它沒有辦法轉移，它確實。

She was eight years old,

她當時八歲。

our first day of grade three when she got called ugly.

我們三年級的第一天，當她被稱為醜陋。

We both got moved to the back of class

我們倆都被調到了教室後面

so we would stop getting bombarded by spitballs.

這樣我們就不會再被口水球轟炸了。

But the school halls were a battleground.

但學校的大廳是一個戰場。

We found ourselves outnumbered day after wretched day.

我們發現我們的人數日復一日地多。

We used to stay inside for recess, because outside was worse.

我們以前都是呆在屋裡休息，因為外面的環境更差。

Outside, we'd have to rehearse running away,

在外面，我們得排練逃跑。

or learn to stay still like statues, giving no clues that we were there.

或者學著像雕像一樣靜靜地呆在那裡，不給人任何線索表明我們在那裡。

In grade five, they taped a sign to the front of her desk

五年級的時候，他們在她的書桌前貼了一塊牌子。

that read, "Beware of dog."

那上面寫著，"小心狗"。

To this day, despite a loving husband, she doesn't think she's beautiful

直到今天，雖然有一個愛她的丈夫，但她還是覺得自己不美

because of a birthmark that takes up a little less than half her face.

因為一塊佔了她半張臉不到的胎記。

Kids used to say, "She looks like a wrong answer

孩子們常說："她看起來像一個錯誤的答案。

that someone tried to erase, but couldn't quite get the job done."

有人試圖抹去，但不能完全完成任務。"

And they'll never understand that she's raising two kids

而且他們永遠不會明白她要養兩個孩子。

whose definition of beauty begins with the word "Mom,"

其對美的定義是以 "媽媽 "開頭的。

because they see her heart before they see her skin,

因為他們先看到她的心，再看到她的皮膚。

because she's only ever always been amazing.

因為她只是一直都很厲害。

He was a broken branch grafted onto a different family tree,

他是嫁接在不同家譜上的斷枝。

adopted,

通過：

not because his parents opted for a different destiny.

而不是因為他的父母選擇了不同的命運。

He was three when he became a mixed drink

他三歲的時候就成了一個混合飲料

of one part left alone and two parts tragedy,

一部分是孤獨的，兩部分是悲劇的。

started therapy in eighth grade,

八年級時開始治療。

had a personality made up of tests and pills,

有一個由測試和藥丸組成的人格。

lived like the uphills were mountains and the downhills were cliffs,

活著就像上山是山，下山是崖。

four fifths suicidal, a tidal wave of antidepressants,

五分之四的人有自殺傾向，抗抑鬱藥的浪潮。

and an adolescence being called "Popper,"

和一個被稱為 "波普 "的青春期。

one part because of the pills,

一部分是因為藥丸。

99 parts because of the cruelty.

99部因為殘酷。

He tried to kill himself in grade 10

他在十年級時就想自殺

when a kid who could still go home to Mom and Dad

當一個還能回到爸爸媽媽身邊的孩子。

had the audacity to tell him, "Get over it."

有膽量告訴他，"克服它。"

As if depression is something that could be remedied

好像抑鬱症是可以補救的一樣

by any of the contents found in a first aid kit.

被急救箱中的任何物品所傷。

To this day, he is a stick of TNT lit from both ends,

直到今天，他還是一根兩頭點燃的TNT棒。

could describe to you in detail the way the sky bends

可以向你詳細地描述天空彎曲的方式。

in the moment before it's about to fall,

在即將倒下的前一刻。

and despite an army of friends who all call him an inspiration,

儘管有一大群朋友都稱他為 "靈感"。

he remains a conversation piece between people who can't understand

他仍然是一個談話的人誰也不明白的人之間的談話作品

sometimes being drug-free has less to do with addiction

有時候，無毒與否與毒癮關係不大。

and more to do with sanity.

而更多的是與理智有關。

We weren't the only kids who grew up this way.

我們不是唯一這樣長大的孩子。

To this day, kids are still being called names.

直到今天，孩子們還在被人叫著名字。

The classics were, "Hey stupid," "Hey spaz."

經典的是，"嘿，笨蛋"，"嘿，笨蛋"。

Seems like every school has an arsenal of names

好像每個學校都有一個名字的阿森納。

getting updated every year,

每年都在更新。

and if a kid breaks in a school and no one around chooses to hear,

如果一個孩子闖進學校，周圍沒有人聽到，就會選擇。

do they make a sound?

它們會發出聲音嗎？

Are they just background noise from a soundtrack stuck

他們只是背景噪音 從一個配樂卡住了

on repeat when people say things like, "Kids can be cruel."

當人們說 "孩子可以很殘忍 "的時候，我就會反覆聽。

Every school was a big top circus tent,

每個學校都是一個大頂馬戲團的帳篷。

and the pecking order went from acrobats to lion tamers,

而啄木鳥的順序從雜技演員變成了馴獅師。

from clowns to carnies, all of these miles ahead of who we were.

從小丑到卡尼，所有這些英里領先於我們是誰。

We were freaks -- lobster claw boys and bearded ladies,

我們是怪胎--龍蝦爪男孩和大鬍子女士。

oddities juggling depression and loneliness,

怪人兼顧抑鬱和孤獨。

playing solitaire, spin the bottle,

玩紙牌，轉瓶子。

trying to kiss the wounded parts of ourselves and heal,

試圖親吻自己受傷的部分，並治癒。

but at night, while the others slept,

但在晚上，當其他人睡覺的時候。

we kept walking the tightrope.

我們一直在走鋼絲。

It was practice, and yes, some of us fell.

這是練習，是的，我們中有人摔倒了。

But I want to tell them that all of this

但我想告訴他們，這一切的一切。

is just debris left over when we finally decide to smash

只是當我們最終決定粉碎時留下的殘骸而已

all the things we thought we used to be,

所有的事情，我們認為我們曾經是。

and if you can't see anything beautiful about yourself,

如果你看不到自己有什麼美麗的地方。

get a better mirror, look a little closer, stare a little longer,

找個好點的鏡子，再近一點看，再盯著一點看。

because there's something inside you that made you keep trying

因為你的內心有某種東西讓你不斷嘗試

despite everyone who told you to quit.

儘管每個人都告訴你退出。

You built a cast around your broken heart and signed it yourself.

你在你受傷的心周圍建了一個石膏，並親自簽名。

You signed it, "They were wrong."

你簽了 "他們錯了"。

Because maybe you didn't belong to a group or a clique.

因為也許你不屬於一個團體或小圈子。

Maybe they decided to pick you last for basketball or everything.

也許他們決定最後選你去打籃球或者做其他事情。

Maybe you used to bring bruises and broken teeth to show-and-tell, but never told,

也許你以前經常帶著傷痕和碎牙來展示和訴說，但從來沒有說過。

because how can you hold your ground

因為你怎麼能堅守陣地

if everyone around you wants to bury you beneath it?

如果你周圍的人都想把你埋在下面？

You have to believe that they were wrong.

你必須相信他們是錯的。

They have to be wrong.

他們一定是錯的。

Why else would we still be here?

不然我們為什麼還在這裡？

We grew up learning to cheer on the underdog

我們從小就學會了為弱者喝彩

because we see ourselves in them.

因為我們在他們身上看到了自己。

We stem from a root planted in the belief

我們的根基是建立在以下信念上的

that we are not what we were called.

我們不是我們被稱為。

We are not abandoned cars stalled out

我們不是廢棄的車停在外面

and sitting empty on some highway,

並在某條公路上空著。

and if in some way we are, don't worry.

如果在某些方面我們是，不要擔心。

We only got out to walk and get gas.

我們只是出來走走，加個油。

We are graduating members from the class of We Made It,

我們是《我們成功了》班的畢業成員。

not the faded echoes of voices crying out,

而不是哭喊的聲音的消逝的回聲。

"Names will never hurt me."

"名字永遠不會傷害我。"

Of course they did.

當然，他們做了。

But our lives will only ever always

但我們的生活將永遠只有

continue to be a balancing act

繼續是一個平衡的行為

that has less to do with pain

無關痛癢

and more to do with beauty.

而更多的是與美有關。

(Applause)

(掌聲)