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In 1985, Robert Sternberg
presented a theory that has piqued the interest of various people
A theory concretising something that has baffled the minds
and wrenched the hearts of many - Love
He called it the "Triangular Theory of Love"
As it's best explained in the form of a triangle
but it's more commonly known as "Sternberg's Theory of Love"
In the context of interpersonal relationships
there are three components of love
intimacy, passion and commitment
According to the theory, intimacy
is the feeling of attachment
closeness, and connectedness
Passion, on the other hand, is
the fiery depth and intenseness you experience when you like someone
encompassing the drive connected to
both romantic and sexual attraction
The third component, commitment, ties the other two together
as it encompasses short-term and
long-term decisions to remain with one another and plan for the future
According to Sternberg's Theory of Love
there are six forms of love which are
combinations of the three components previously described
One, Nonlove
Nonlove is merely the absence
of all three components
This basically characterises the majority of our personal relationships which consists of simple
casual interactions
It could apply to your acquaintances, or to people who you're not particularly attached to
Two, Friendship
Friendship exists when only intimacy is present
This is the set of feelings you experience
without the intense passion or commitment of romance
It can however be a root for other forms of love to manifest from
00:01:42,495 --> 00:01:44,755 Three, Infatuated Love
Infatuation occurs when passion is present
and both intimacy and commitment is absent
Crushes fall under this category
Solely sexual relationships are also included
as they are only bounded by carnal desires and nothing more
This is the most common root of romantic love as it's believed that
intimacy develops over time
But if neither intimacy nor commitment develops, this type of love
can fizzle over time
Four, Empty Love
An example of empty love is an unhappy marriage
where intimacy and the flames of passion for your partner is gone
As a strong love deteriorates into empty love
nothing is left but the contract of marriage itself
It's characterised by the absence of intimacy and passion
despite the presence of commitment
Arranged marriages, on the other hand, can start out as empty loves
but can develop into other forms of love over time
Five, Romantic Love
Romantic love is a combination of intimacy and passion
Relationships under this category
not only involve physical bonds, but emotional bonds as well
This is one of the most common stepping stones to married life
However, it lacks commitment
This type of relationship is easier to dissolve, with
no legal issues, if you and your partner have had enough of it
Six, Companionate Love
Companionate Love is characterised by a combination of
intimacy and commitment, and the absence of passion
It's stronger than Friendship Love because of the addition of commitment
It's observed in long-term marriages where
you don't necessarily need passion in order to stay in love with your partner
because affection still remains
Companionate Love can also be found among family members and close
friends who have strong platonic friendships
Seven, Fatuous Love
A good example of a Fatuous Love is when Kim Kardashian
married Kris Humphries, only to divorce him 72 days later
It's a whirlwind of romance we usually see on television
Fatuous Love is the combination of commitment and passion
without intimacy
Eight, Consummate Love
Consummate Love sits at the very centre of the triangle
as it's said to be the perfect ideal type of love
All three components are present in this type of love
and it's the goal for people in relationships
According to Sternberg, couples experiencing
Consummate Love would continue to be sexually intimate years into the relationship
and they can't imagine themselves being happier with other partners
They work through their difficulties and
find a light in their relationships
However, Sternberg cautions that maintaining this relationship is harder than
achieving it and it's not a permanent form of love
With that, do you agree with the types of love that
Sternberg proposes?
What other factors do you think affect a relationship?
Do you think the six forms of love are global?
Or is there a subjective perspective for every couple?
Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below
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