- Can you please not look at me?

Go, play with your toys.

(playful music)

Come on, come on, poop.

Let's poop here, ready?

Could you poop?

Could we poop?

Oh no, why, why would you do this?

You contribute nothing.

Ow!

I'd like to know how, through those tiny little nostrils,

you get enough air into your lungs to survive in this world?

Poop, please poop, poop.

No, you are done, you don't get anymore people food.

No, okay fine, here, here you go, you want one?

You're so good, you're such a good boy.

Oh my god, they're best friends immediately.

You made a friend.

This is who I used to date. This is a dog I used to know.

This coulda been your brother.

I thought it was gonna be your brother, but blech.

You guys would've gotten along.

I'll wait here all god dang day Jerry, that's what I'll do.

You poo, or we stay here all day.

Ah, this is good.

I love you so (bleep) much.

Look how little your face is, what do you think about?

I love you so much, I'm (bleep) nothing without you.

(phone vibrates) I would die for you.

And kill my own family for you, if that's what it took.

That's what's (bleep) up, is I would.

And the thing is you deserve it, 'cause you're pure.

I'll never be pure.

You're pure.

(phone vibrates)

(Tinder app chimes)

Well, this is where I'm staying.

You, me and the freakin' TV.

(phone vibrates) (singing in foreign language)

You did it, good god, you did so much of it.

Oh yeah, oh god, oh boy, yeah, (laughing) okay!

(laughing) (singing in foreign language)