that...this game somehow makes farts unfunny.

I didn't even think that was possible.

Somewhere, Stimpson J. Cat sheds

a tear.

Anyway, Orc Attack. A game about farting orcs. Or so you think. Turns out it's more about

button mashing and repetitive gameplay, which is kind of a bummer. Choose an orc and take

to the battlefield...hacking, slashing and farting your way through human armies. Mostly

hacking and slashing, though.

Hacking and slashing.

*fart sound*

So there are two modes to choose from. You can play Dirty, or you can do Magic. You can

have anything that you desire. Actually, I'm not sure what the magic mode is about. It

seems to be basically the same game, but without the farts. And when the game is subtitled

Flatulent Rebellion...I mean, why even give 'em an option?

That's the problem with society. We give people a no-fart option.

There are four orcs to choose from at the start, all of which play the same. Which is

to say, slowly and stiffly. The exact opposite of a good fart, which should be fast and loose.

This is a fart that, like...sits there for a second, before it comes out. And then you

look ridiculous, because you're leaning to the left trying to give it space.

Speaking of ridiculous, check out this camera.

I guess that's the first big problem here. The camera's just awful. It's automatic, which

really means it moves when it wants to. It's, like, the least optimal camera for this game.

It's a headache during combat, and the worst part is...sometimes, you have to jump on lily

pads, right? Do a little platforming? Try doing that with this camera.

It's like holding in a Taco Bell fart. No es posible, amigo.

I mentioned how repetitive the gameplay is, but seriously...weak attack, strong attack,

pick up loose items, level up between missions. That's it. And a lot of games manage to do

that formula well, and make it fun. For some reason, this game is never very much fun.

Maybe it's the slowness of it all, and the bad camera, and the way the humor completely

falls flat...okay, actually, I guess it's a lot of things.

Now, to be fair...this is definitely designed to be a multiplayer game. You can team up

online for four-player multiplayer, which is recommended. Even repetitive gameplay can

be fun with friends, especially when you're causing fart explosions to kill vikings. That's

the thing that disappointed me the most, though. There's a lot of potential for humor here,

but the game never capitalizes on it. It's never funny.

And again, I'm not even sure how that's possible.

How is Lord Poop not funny?

Orc Attack isn't a bad game, but it is standard to a fault. And the slowness of the gameplay

doesn't make the repetition much fun. Playing online makes things more interesting, but

especially alone...these orcs wear out their welcome pretty quick.

Must be the smell.