the story and the game as a whole, but you don't want that. You want to know what happened

to the numbers, the data, the state of the game as a competitive event. And, well, you

got fairies. That's right, they've added an 18th type, the first type addition since Gold

and Silver back in '99, and have taken that opportunity to make some modifications to

the effectiveness chart. The new Fairy type fears Poison and Steel attacks (which were

generally considered the weakest attacking types), shrugs off Fighting, Bug, and Dark,

and disregards Dragons entirely. Hydreigon is not a happy camper. Also, they removed

Ghost and Dark resistance from Steel-types, for reasons I can't put my finger on, meaning

you can now Bite the Psychic/Steel Metagross for massive damage. I don't even.

The bottom screen gets plenty of attention in this version, even moreso than the C-Gear

shenanigans provided in the 5th gen. You've got three systems at play down there, starting

with the Player Search System, which gives you at the touch of a stylus updates and data

on your friends, acquaintances, and any folks who might just be "passing by" from different

regions and languages. And since the game hit the entire world simultaneously, this

section will usually be flooded with cheerful greetings in all seven languages supported

out-of-the-box. By poking a friend's icon, you can instantly propose a trade or battle,

check their profile, or bestow upon them an O-Power in a show of graciousness (and hope

that they reciprocate). These function like the Pass Powers from the previous generation,

just... more convenient to access and develop. Speaking of more convenient, the Global Trade

System returns, now accessible from anywhere in the field instead of just from Pokémon

Centers, as can the battle matchmaker for a pick-up fight. But new to 6th Gen is the

Wonder Trade function, which lets you put a Pokémon up for trade, to anyone, for anything.

No telling what you'll get in return, or where it'll come from. In this case, I got a Stunfisk

from Madrid. Kinda disappointed he's not named Paella.

Elsewhere on that bottom screen, you've got the much-hyped Pokémon-amie function, which

lets you get all Nintendogs up in here by poking and petting your Pokémon, as well

as playing minigames which replenish your stock of delicious baked goods. And there's

the Super Training station, where your Pokémon get to play soccer in order to increase their

Effort Values distribution. It takes a good chunk of time to actually level this feature

up to the point where it beats just murdering a pond full of Golduck, but it also removes

the need to grind Battle Points or such nonsense for a full set of EV-training held items.

Plus, it shows at a glance what a given Pokémon's stat distribution looks like and how far it

is from the EV cap. Doubleplus, you get to see a Pidgey smack the bejeezus out of a heavy

bag, which has gotta be worth something.

Probably the largest deviation from the 5th generation, though, is the appearance of Pokémon

from across the series' 17-year history. Which seems kinda strange to me. You've got a global,

worldwide release and significantly less chance of spoilers; this should've been the version

to have all of its new Pokémon up front and center instead of being slowly trickled in.

I suppose you'd still have the vociferous assholes out there shouting "IT'S A KEYRING.

IT'S A FUCKING KEYRING." But they'll always be there. I suppose there's merit to the slow

rollout, especially if you're getting STAB on it and you're in a Trick Room. Wait.

Each time a new Pokémon comes out, we see the same things taking place: Some folks hate

the new designs, some folks love 'em, some swear off the series because they keep adding

FUCKING KEYRINGS or whatever and some re-enter the fold after years of trying to be a mature

adult and failing miserably. I guess it's really that second segment of the population

I'm talking to right now. Hi. Yeah, there are probably a few hundred more Pokémon now

than there were when you left, but you've still got the idea. Now it's just easier to

share that idea, as well as your thoughts and achievements, as well as your Pokémon

themselves, with your friends and random passers-by from Madrid or Saitama or Salerno or Baden-Baden

or Bordeaux or Uijeongbu. Welcome back.