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  • >> HI. I'M FRED CHALMER'S.

  • >> AND I'M LEEZAN. YOU MAY RECOGNIZE US FROM OUR

  • REALITY SHOW "THE NASTIEST SUMMER RENTERS IN SAG HARBOR."

  • >> IT'S THE SHOW THAT WON SPECTRUM CABLE AWARD FOR

  • UNHAPPIEST GROUP. >> IT'S BEEN CANCELED ALREADY.

  • >> UNLIKE OUR BRAND NEW WINE, CHALMER'S RESERVE EVENT WINE.

  • >> CHALMER'S IS AN AFFORDABLE WINE THAT, UNLIKE OUR SHOW,

  • WON'T RECEIVE ANY COMPLAINTS. >> AFTER THE FIRST SIP, GUESTS

  • WILL BE LIKE, "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT.

  • I MUST HAVE MISTASTED THIS." >> BY THE SECOND SIP, THEY WON'T

  • KNOW A GREAT WINE FROM LEFTOVER HOT DOG WATER.

  • >> THEY'LL BE MORE CONCERNED ABOUT, "HOW DID I GET IN THE

  • POOL?" OR, "WHY AM I BEING CHASED IN

  • THIS WIG?" >> AND, HEY, IT MAY EVEN USHER

  • IN YOUR FIRST LESBIAN EXPERIENCE.

  • >> THAT GOES FOR THE MEN AS WELL.

  • >> LET OUR WINEMAKERS TELL YOU HOW WE'RE ABLE TO MAKE SUCH A

  • WONDERFUL WINE FOR UNDER $1 A BOTTLE.

  • >> THE PROCESS IS WHAT WE CALL --

  • >> THIS MEANS THE WINE IS MADE FROM THE GRAPES THAT DIDN'T MAKE

  • THE CUT FOR THE BETTER WINE. >> THE ONES THAT I GOT TO PULL

  • OFF THE CONVEYOR BELT BECAUSE THEY WERE FLAT ON ONE SIDE OR

  • HAD A MOLE ON THE TOP. >> WE ALSO USE THE TWIGS AND THE

  • TRASH THAT WERE SORTED AWAY FROM THE PREMIUM GRAPES.

  • >> AND OF COURSE THE DISTILLED YELLOW CORN.

  • >> IT'S THE CORN THAT COVERS UP THE TASTE OF THE GRAPE.

  • >> BECAUSE THE GRAPE, IT'S NO GOOD.

  • >> THANK YOU. YOU CAN GO BACK TO THE MOTEL

  • NOW. >> I ASK THEM IS THIS LIKE A

  • WINE FOR DOGS OR SOMETHING? THEY LAUGH, AND THEY SAY, KINDA.

  • >> YOU'RE OVERWHELMING THEM WITH THE DETAILS.

  • >> IT WAS FUN LEARNING ABOUT THE PROCESS FROM YOU TO, SO BYE.

  • >> ALSO, THIS IS THE OWN WINE YOU GOT TO PUT IN A TOOTH GUARD

  • BEFORE YOU DRINK IT BECAUSE IT STAINS YOUR TEETH, AND IT DON'T

  • EVER COME OUT. >> BECAUSE WE'VE GOT TO USE THE

  • DYE. THE GRAPES FOR THIS WINE AREN'T

  • EVEN WINE. >> BEFORE COLOR, THIS WINE IS

  • BROWN. >> THAT IS WHY WE THINK IT IS

  • FOR THE DOG BECAUSE IT SMELL LIKE THE CHICKEN BONE TOO.

  • >> HEY, MAN, DON'T BE GIVING AWAY OUR SECRETS.

  • >> I THINK WE ALL UNDERSTAND HOW THE WINE IS MADE NOW.

  • PLEASE GO. >> WE ARE NOT PROUD OF THIS

  • WINE. >> WE GO TO HELL MAYBE FOR

  • MAKING THIS WINE. >> WE'RE NOT EVEN ITALIAN.

  • >> WE SIGN A CONTRACT SAY WE GOT TO TALK LIKE THIS FOR A YEAR.

  • >> AND OUR ITALIAN ACCENTS ARE NO GOOD.

  • >> PLEASE LEAVE. YOU'RE DONE.

  • >> YOU STILL OWE US. >> KEEP CHECKING YOUR MAILBOX.

  • >> TAKE YOUR OLD WORLD CHARM AND GET ON THE LOSER TRAIN.

  • >> YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE LAST OF US.

  • >> WHOA, BABY, YOU TOLD THEIR ITALIAN ASSES OFF.

  • >> DAMN RIGHT. >> GOOD LORD, NO.

  • I THINK MY HAIR IS ON FIRE. >> YOUR CHICKENS HAVE COME HOME

  • TO ROOST. >> WHAT ABOUT ME?

  • >> YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, AND SO AM I.

  • >> CHALMER'S RESERVE EVENT WINE. MMM MMM.

>> HI. I'M FRED CHALMER'S.

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