She was Lo. Plain Lo in the morning.

Standing four feet ten in one sock.

She was Lola in slacks.

She was Dolly at school.

She was Dolores on the dotted line.

In my arms, she was always...

..Lolita.

Light of my life.

Fire of my loins.

My sin.

My soul.

Lolita.

But there might have been no Lolita at all...

..had I not first met Annabel.

We were both 14.

Whatever happens to a boy during the summer he's 14...

..can mark him for life.

That hotel you see, the Mirana,...

..that belonged to us.

She wanted to be a nurse.

I wanted to be a spy.

All at once we were madly, hopelessly in love.

Four months later, she died of typhus.

The shock of her death froze something in me.

The child I loved was gone.

But I kept looking for her...

..long after I'd left my own childhood behind.

The poison was in the wound, you see.

And the wound wouldn't heal.

I probably should have joined the priesthood.

Instead, I accepted a teaching post at Beardsley College in America.

I had a summer free before the Fall semester.

I thought I'd finish a textbook I was working on.

A survey of French literature for American students.

I took my advance...

..and went to live at the house of friends of my late uncle's, the McCoos,...

..in the New England town of Ramsdale.

But on arriving, I found that it was no longer there.

But a friend of Mrs McCoo,...

..a widow, Mrs Charlotte Haze,...

..agreed to accommodate me.

- Goddamn dog!

One minute. Something's burnin'.

Lord have mercy!

Mrs Haze'll be down in one.

ls that Professor Humbert, Louise? Tell him I'll be down in one.

She'll be down in one!

Monsieur Humbert.

Uh, yes.

Mrs Haze, is it?

Charlotte.

I am so pleased to make your acquaintance.

Frank McCoo told me all about your scholarly pursuits.

I myself just cherish the French tongue.

Um... I wonder, could l...

Mm. Come in.

Harold and l, the late Mr Haze,...

..we simply adored Mexico.

The whole idea of a culture that sophisticated.

And we think of them as primitive.

I mean, look at us!

Indeed, yes.

Upstairs.

I and Lo have our rooms just there.

And this is your room.

Space for a desk, anything you want.

And at $20 a month, you can't beat the price.

And here's the bathroom. It's a bit of a mess.

And this is the kitchen.

Now, if you have any special food needs, you just say.

I don't know if Ramsdale can provide you with foie gras, like you're used to.

What's that?

Uh... timetable. For when I um...

I was hoping I wouldn't have to, but I think I've got to go back to New York.

- Oh, you're not too favourably impressed. - No... There's a Baudelaire conference...

This is not a neat household, but you would be very comfortable here.

Very comfortable indeed.

Don't say no until you've seen the piazza.

Come.

Well, I call it the piazza.

It's so much work to keep it healthy and green.

It's a life's work.

That's my Lo.

And these are my lilies.

I love lilies.

- Lily's a nice name, don't you think? - Beautiful.

Beautiful!

How much did you say the room was?

A normal man,...

..given a group photograph of schoolgirls...

..and asked to point out the loveliest one,...

..will not necessarily choose the nymphet among them.

You have to be an artist,...

..a madman, full of shame and melancholy and despair,...

..in order to recognise the little deadly demon among the others.

She stands...

..unrecognised by them,...

..unconscious herself of her fantastic power.

- See you later, alligator. - After a while, crocodile!

- Real soon, Daniel Boone. - Get fucked, Daffy Duck.

# Don't know why... there's no sun up in the sky

# Stormy weather

# Since my man and I ain't together...

You woke me up.

- Sorry.

I'll stop.

Dolores! Have you made your bed?

No, I have not made my bed.

I asked you to make your bed, didn't l?

No. You asked me if I'd made my bed.

Make your bed.

- Now!

I long for some terrific disaster.

Earthquake.

Spectacular explosion.

Make your bed!

Her mother instantly eliminated.

Along with everybody else for miles around.

Lolita...

..in my arms.

I'm sleepy today.

Me too.

Have you been having trouble sleeping?

You can't imagine.

Am I getting a zit?

What?

Do you see a pimple on my chin?

You look absolutely perfect to me.

Wanna see my chin wobble?

OK.

Humbert!

Humbert...

Is she keeping you up?

I beg your pardon?

No!

No. No, I'm...

No.

Well, it's probably just a 24-hour bug.

He was looking forward to meeting you.

Has anybody seen my other sneaker?!

Your breakfast, Professor Humbert.

Don't tell Mother, but I ate all your bacon.

- Dolores, that was Mrs Farlow. - So?

Rose has a temperature and can't go to Hourglass Lake.

- Oh, yeah? - Do not use that tone with me!

Are you ready for church?

I'm not going to that disgusting church.

- Young lady... - No picnic, no church.

That is fine with me. It is your conscience.

I want your room spick-and-span when I get home.

- And wash your hair, young lady. - I did wash it!

- When? - A couple of months ago.

I could be a dancer.

That's a major option.

Cos I do have a natural grace.

- You know. A kind of sad beauty. - Sort of sad is right.

I'd like to see you dance sometime.

Little girls always want to be ballerinas, don't they?

I know I did.

But I was - how should I put it? - a tad too... plump?

- Is that the right word? - Yes.

I'll get more Vouvray.

Make her take us to Hourglass Lake tomorrow.

- Me? - Mm-hm.

She'll do anything you say.

She's getting a thing about you.

Whisper, whisper.

What are you two so cosy about?

Um... Did I ever tell you both that...

..l was once a...

..that I was once a... um...

Uh... that l... I was once a cook in the North Pole?

- A cook? - Well, not exactly a cook.

I opened a few cans.

It was a weather expedition. And I shot a polar bear.

- No! - Well, I didn't hit it.

Why shoot a polar bear? That's a lousy thing to do.

Because I found it...

..with its face - listen to this - in the ice-cream mixer.

I couldn't let that pass because we lived off ice cream.

You're out of your gourd, Humpy.

Will you stop fidgeting with the doll?

And now we all think that Lo should go to bed.

Lo?

What do you mean "we", paleface?

So, as I was saying, there I was with my white polar-bear gun...

-..to blend in.

It's for me!

Hello?

- No, I'm sorry. She's busy. - I hope you will forgive her bad manners.

- Now what?!

Look! It's my modern dance creation!

Dolores Haze, turn that music down!

She is a pest. Just slap her hard if she interferes with your meditations.

Psst!

Hum...

Hum, do you know that I have one most ambitious dream?

To get a hold of a real trained maid...

..like that German girl that the Talbots spoke of...

..and have her live in the house.

- No room. - Oh, chéri, chéri.

You underestimate the possibilities of our humble household.

We'd put her in Lo's room.

I intended to turn that hole into a guest room anyway.

But where would Lo sleep?

Little Lo does not enter the picture at all.

Little Lo goes straight from camp to a good boarding school...

..with strict discipline and some sound religious training.

I won't go!

I want all of these name tags sewn on your clothes by tomorrow.

I don't want to go.

I didn't ask your opinion!

I don't want to go and you can't make me.

Look, we all think it's a good idea.

Professor Humbert thinks it's a good idea, I think it's a good idea, and you are going!

Double-crosser!

Ow!

I asked you to put that suitcase in the car an hour ago!

Louise, thank you so much for helping the poor child.

Goddamn it! Dolores, I told you to put this lunch basket in the back seat!

Why always tell me to do everything?

I'm the one that won't be eating it.

Louise! Brussels sprouts and meat loaf for dinner.

- All right. Drive careful. - Thank you. Let's go!

- Bye, my baby. - Bye, Louise.

- You be good. I'm gonna miss you. - Agh!

Dolores!

Let's go!

Speed it up!

Get in the car!

Now what?! That child!

- Louise, maybe tenderloin. - That'd be good.

I'm waiting!

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times...

..not to make me wait in the car.

If you weren't going to camp, I would ground you.

Mr Humble!

These damn stairs are gonna be the death of me.

Mr Humble!

Mr Humble!

Mr Humble?

I have something for you.

Oh, yes.

I'm leaving, but I'll be back later.

What the hell he doin' in there?

This is a confession.

I love you.

I'm a passionate and lonely woman...

..and you are the love of my life.

Now you know.

So please, destroy this letter and go.

I shall return by dinner time and you must be gone by then.

You see, chéri, if l found you at home,...

..the fact of your remaining would mean only one thing.

That you want me as much as I do you, as a lifelong mate,...

..and that you are ready to link up your life with mine for ever and ever...

..and be a father to my little girl.

Two weeks later, we were married in a simple ceremony.

Big Haze made sure little Haze was not in attendance.

Mm. This is bliss.

This is heaven on earth. Isn't it, Hump?

Mm.

Are you working on your book?

Yes.

Oh, a secret drawer. What's in there?