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  • Striking up conversation can often be an awkward, complicated moment.

  • So I want to look at the 4 Fs that will help you jump into your next conversation with a lot of confidence.

  • I'm Alex Lyon and I'm here to provide communication tips to help you increase your impact and lead your teams with more excellence.

  • We're going to talk about how to have conversations.

  • It's pretty difficult. A lot of times we feel awkward.

  • But the four Fs will help you enter conversations with a lot more confidence than usual.

  • Yes, you can talk about the weather. Check.

  • Yes, you can ask them about their job. Check.

  • But these 4 Fs are something else that you can bring into those conversations.

  • So let's jump right in.

  • The first F is family.

  • Ask them about their family.

  • Most adults that are already working have a family or maybe they're about to have a family.

  • Now this can be a sensitive topic, but if you see a wedding ring, if they are already talking about their family, ask a follow-up.

  • You'll often see people light up about that topic.

  • Sometimes it's sensitive, though, and so you might go a little more round about way to get at the topic.

  • You could ask them where they're from, if they have a family in the area, something like that.

  • And then you feel them out. See if they're ready to go in that direction.

  • But a lot of times you will get people that are pretty excited.

  • I'm a family man, personally, and I can't wait for people to ask me about it.

  • You can't shut me up and a lot of people are like that it's a really important topic to most people.

  • The second F is what to do for Fun.

  • Say, "Hey what are you doing for fun?"

  • Do you have any hobbies? Do you like to play basketball? Sports?

  • What do you do for relaxation, recreation? Just broach that topic.

  • If it's fun for them then they're going to want to talk about it.

  • It also opens up the possibility that you might have some over lapping areas of fun that you like to do.

  • I know many times in conversations they start talking about what they like and I didn't know you like that.

  • I like that too. It's one of my favorite things to do.

  • I play chess or I like to go camping.

  • That's one of those fun things.

  • So you see connections and then you get to know them in a deeper way than you did before.

  • The third F is what fires them up.

  • Ask them about their passions. Ask them about the things that really get their heart thumping.

  • Usually, if you're asking about other things you'll see one of these things will pop out anyway.

  • If they're excited, follow up and ask them about that.

  • You... Sometimes you'll bring up the things that really fire you up and that will trigger them.

  • However, you can get it there areas of passion,

  • that's one of these things that can really open up a relationship and help you get to know people in a deeper way.

  • And the fourth F is Future plans.

  • Ask them about the coming weekend. Ask them about their coming vacation or what they might be doing this summer.

  • We'll get really excited about the future.

  • I don't know about you, but I take a vacation that lasts a week but I'm excited for three months building up to that vacation.

  • And so asking about future plans, even life plans sometimes, can really lead to great opening in that conversation and build that connection even stronger.

  • So Communication Coach is here, this channel, is here to help people like you I call you rising leaders.

  • You're tuning and, hopefully, to increase your communication skills and lead your teams with more excellence.

  • And tip like this, today's tip about the 4 Fs is one way for you to connect with people more and to help build those relationships.

  • And that's a really key part to being a good leader.

  • So if you're interested in ongoing content in this area and you haven't yet done so, I encourage you to subscribe, post a comment below about how you like to enter conversations and the topics that you enjoy talking about.

  • Answer somebody else's question or perhaps ask me one.

  • I'm pretty good at responding to almost every single thing that people post.

  • So thanks for tuning in. God bless.

  • And I hope you get to use one of these four Fs in your very next conversation.

Striking up conversation can often be an awkward, complicated moment.

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