Gonna Stay In the Air Conditioning And Binge on Video Games” months. And as much as I

appreciated the attempts of schoolteachers to harsh my mellow, I know one day they’ll

understand that all that time spent breeding chocobos and making Quina eat various things

was well worth it. It was a magical time. Unfortunately for this kid, made to run errands

to the library (and, in the process, vandalize a very old-looking book), there is to be no

summer vacation. A much more magical time is in store.

Welcome to Ivalice, kid. That’s a huge **** chicken staring you down. You have one chance to survive:

Make your time with this clan of adventurers what were about to beat up said chicken for

fun and profit. Swear your allegiance to the Judge, push button, receive period garb, and

proceed to spit-roast and barbecue this butterball. And thus, your adventure commences, somewhat

like the last Tactics Advance chapter. The primary difference is in motivation, though:

while A1 told of a misanthropic kid who escaped into a fantasy world because his reality was

one of misery, A2’s plot centers around a boy, stuck in the same fantasy world, presumably

trying to find a way home but more than happy to enjoy the fact that it’s a freakin’

fantasy world. Much less angst, much more wide-eyed amazement.

And wide-eyed is definitely the way to describe this adventure. Tactics Advance may have seemed

a little bit stripped-down compared to the PlayStation original, but A2 takes the smaller,

cuter style and expands it by an order of magnitude. Case in point, there are 56 jobs.

FIFTYSIX. All the way from your standard soldiers, archers, and thieves, to five different colors

of mages, Cannoneers, Flintlocks, Vikings, Raptors, and the playing-card-wielding Trickster

class. And that’s not even getting into the unique classes, available only to plot-relevant

and cameo characters, like Bard, Dancer, and... Sky Pirate. Hey, while Balthier’s off doing

his own thing, Vaan gets the spotlight. He certainly didn’t see much of it in 12.

Mechanically speaking, the game follows Tactics Advance fairly closely: The gear you equip

makes new spells and techniques available; once you’ve fulfilled its AP cost, it’s

imprinted permanently on the character. New systems include a Bazaar option in shops that

allows you to make new weapons and gear from the odds and ends you collect during your

adventures, and a system of clan titles offer new privileges and passive bonuses as a result

of your renown. The law system has been revamped for this new outing, and no longer uses a

soccer-style yellow-card, red-card system; instead, an infraction robs you of your “privilege”

buff, removes the option to raise fallen units, and costs you spoils at the end of the scrum.

Nowhere near as punitive, but it’s still worth your while to obey.

The net result is three hundred missions’ worth of awesome tactical action on the go,

with a much better sleep function thanks to the DS itself. Of those, about thirty serve

to advance the plot and get the kid back home, while the remaining 270 are there just for

fun. 90% of the game is just for fun. Now that’s a story I can get into.