say it with me.

來跟我一起說

*meme* gaming *review* week!

*拍手* 遊戲 *拍手* 週!

*9 year old's voice* "oh, he doesn't play enough games anym-"

「噢, 他玩的遊戲完全不夠-」

GAMING! WEEK!

遊戲! 週!

starting off with the ultimate game of all time.

就從史上最終極的遊戲開始

Minecraft.

當個創世神

that's right.

沒錯

*POP* i have not played minecraft properly in... ever.

我已經很久沒認真玩過Minecraft了....從來沒有

*cue meatball giggles*

*可愛的笑聲*

i played the game when it was in alpha.

我在他還在測試的時候玩過

that's right! Hipster Notch supporter!

沒錯! 我是超酷的Notch支持者

i think a lot of it has changed.

我想這遊戲改變了很多

i'm not sure.

我不太肯定

okay!

Okay!

let's just jump into it- why do I not have sound???

讓我們開始吧 為什麼我沒有聲音?

okay, so create a new world.

好 所以 來創造一個新世界

what should we name it?

我們應該取什麼名字?

"broland".

"哥們大陸"

good one!

不錯!

here we go guys! :)

我們來了! ( • ̀ω•́ )

historical moment.

歷史性的一刻

my first video ever was a minecraft video!

我第一部Minecraft影片

does it always take this long? (sadly).

這是不是每次都要載入那麼久?( ˘•ω•˘ )

here it is. oh... my...god!

來了(☉д⊙)噢 買 尬

after all these years.

經過那麼長的歲月後...

i'm back in minecraft.

我終於回來Minecraft了( • ̀ω•́ )

i have this ne...

我有這個-

is that a *christian channel* horse?!

那難道是匹天殺的馬?!

that's a freaking horse! :0

這是匹天殺的馬!

OH MY GOD THERE'S HORSES IN MINECRAFT?

我的天Minecraft裡面有馬?!

kAWAIIIIIIII (OOOOHHHHHHHH THATS CUUUUUUUUTEEEEEEEEEEEE) (≧▽≦)

KAWAII♥(´∀` )

u-uma desu?! (OOOOOOOH WOOOOOOOOOOOO THATS A HORSE I LOVE YOU MAN)

是馬 *在嘗試講日文*

can i ride it?

我可以騎上去嗎?

*GASP* OHHHH!!!!! (wow pewds)

*倒抽一口氣* (☉д⊙)噢噢噢--!!!!

*he looks so cute uwu*

(☉д⊙)噢噢噢噢----!!!!

OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!

(ﾟд⊙)啊!!

AH!

你看!這是小隻的馬!

look, it's tiny horse!

哈囉小馬! uwu

hello, tiny horse! (uwu)

這真的超讚!d(`･∀･)b

this is amazing :)

我愛Minecraft *笑*

i love minecraft *meatball giggles*

為什麼牠們在滑動?

why are they sliding?

*笑*

*giggles*

OK 掰掰小馬!

okay, bye bye horse!

所以我有...

So I have...

我有自己的外觀

i got my outfit. (stream Beach Lasagna)

就是這個!*笑聲*(｡A｡)! 耶!

there it is! *giggles* yeah!!

*♫* 嘿!

bobs or vagana whate-- eyy!

我不太記得怎麼玩這個遊戲了

*giggles* whatever will it be?

我想第一件事是砍樹

i don't really remember how you play- i think the first thing you do is chop down wood.

沒錯 對對對 你一定要

That's right. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. You definitely

砍樹

chop down wood.

砍砍砍( ･∀･)

chop, chop, chop!

有了 解鎖了新的配方?

there we go. new recipe unlocked?

超棒!

amazing!

你知道嗎, 其實我算是個老玩家了

you know, i'm sort of a veteran. (oh, are you felix?)

我不需要你們這些小孩教我怎麼玩Minecraft

i don't need you kids to tell me how to play minecraft.

我知道怎麼玩Minecraft

i know how to play minecraft. (insert "get out of my room im playing miNECRAFT")

*殭屍聲音* 喔天 剛剛那是什麼聲音?

*scary zombies* oh, god. what was that sound?

噢 對了! 你要建造一個- 啊!(☉д⊙) *更多殭屍聲*

oh, yeah! you have to build a-- AH! *more zombies*

你要在晚上之前建好房子

you have to build a shelter before night.

這代表我們要生火 我們還有建造一扇門

that means we've got to get fire; that means we've got to build a door.

我們有一堆東西要弄的

(irish accent) we've got a lot of things to build.

哦天啊

oh, god. *felix has an aneurysm*

救 命

H E L P

有其他人在嗎?

is there anyone out there?

我不是要這樣做

oh- that's not what i wanted to do...

好吧 我有一堆東西

alright, i got a lot of stuff. (exactly 24 oak planks)

所以我要怎麼弄一個木棒?

so how do I build..

有了! 我弄出來了!

a twig? (•ิ_•ิ)

我還是那麼厲害

*mii channel music*

看看我多會

there it is! i got it! (eureka)

我還能弄些什麼?

still got it bABy.

我的天是工作台!

look at this, dude.

我學會了很多...科學知識之類的

what else can I build?

我已經是個Minecraft大師了

oh my god, the crafting table! Σ(･口･)

我只玩了半個- 啊!

i'm learning so much about science!!1!1

老天爺 *殭屍聲音*

and stuff.. ┐('～` )┌

好吧 那是什麼鬼東西

i'm already a Minecraft pro

為什麼那麼恐怖-- 啊!

and i've only played like half an-

我居然害怕*笑*Minecraft

(proceeds to fall in hole) aH!

我要回去小馬那邊

Jesus.. *spooky zombie noises*

好吧所以我們應該在哪裡建造我們第一個房子?

oKay- what is that?!

這裡就在海邊 不錯

why is it so spooky? :(

蠻酷的

*splish splash noises* AH!

對對對對對 這裡 我們就在這裡建房子吧

*giggles*

完美...那是什麼?

i'm scared.. of minecra- (stream him playing the silent hill map)

Nani kore? (日文:那是什麼?)

i'll go back to the horses. (friendship is magic!)

那是什麼?...

alright, so where should we build ourrr...

啊!(☉д⊙) 那裡有章魚?

first house?

還有貓?

this is nice, it's by the beach.

好吧就在我們繼續探險之前

it's p r e t t y e p i c

我一定要保護自己

yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh

我記得一些東西

here, we'll build it here.

沒錯就是這個 我還是很會

this is perfect :)

所以要怎樣合劍?

what is T H A T (ಠ_ಠ? )

劍就像...

nani kore? (what's this?)

這是什麼...配方

what is thaaat?

噢 ok 呃...劍

*gets scared by squid*

噢 它幫你做好了

there's...

也弄一把斧頭吧 我的天這真的很容易

¿OCTOPUSSY?

小貓? 小心- 嘿!

there's CAAAATTTS?!

你別指望傷害小貓 就算在哪裡都不行

alright, before we advance any further,

小貓過來

i must protect myself

你是什麼鬼東西??

now, i remember SOME things (me during an exam)

我可以殺掉他們嗎? -等等 讓我存個檔

there it is

好了 現在來殺掉他們吧

still got it

他寧願淹死也不要被我殺

so how was a sword then?

他直接消失了!

sword was like..?

我是個殺人犯 我都做了什麼?

*confusion intensifies*

我可以殺你嗎?

what is this... recipe

(☉д⊙)啊啊啊---!

oh ok.. uhh

(☉д⊙)NO------!

sword... oh it does it FOR you

啊...இдஇ 我已經失敗了....

let's get an axe as well

好吧 現在給我認真玩 Felix

oh my god this is so EASY

我的天 要快速通關

kitty, get over-

喔天 那些夏日的回憶

hEY >:(

那些感受都回來了

(irish accent part 2) don't you DARE hurt kitty

在喧囂過後的深夜裡

whatever you are

你玩得很盡興, 但是實際上--

kitty, come here

你只是想要回家好好地玩Minecraft

what the HELL are you??

徹夜不眠

*testificate noise*

挖礦挖到深處

*laugh that clears my skin*

只是因為想知道下面有什麼

can i murder them?

終於有一個讓我身同感受的遊戲

wait lemme save...

天殺的 這遊戲有洋蔥

alright, NOW let's murder the dude.

我的天為什麼- 這遊戲好動漫啊?

*intense killing*

歐對 我需要一個鏟子 當然的

he would rather DROWN HIMSELF than be with me... :(

為什麼Minecraft那麼的動漫?

*weird mating calls*

好了 我想我們現在已經準備好挖礦了

*he dead*

我想要我的礦洞距離我的家遠一點 對吧

he just DISAPPEARED!

所以這裡- 好的這很完美

i'm a murderer!

我們從這裡開始吧

what have i done!?

石器時代!!(｡◕∀◕｡)

(immediately attempts murder again) can I kill you?

這代表...你知道嗎小孩們?

*nba level*

代表你可以弄一把天殺的石頭鎬了 小子

AHHHHHHHHHH

所以現在我們可以挖得比較快了

NOOOOOOO (zero deaths)

超棒

awwww... :(

天 我需要煤是嗎?

i've already failed... (me when i see i don't know how to do the first question)

我要尋找煤礦了

alright, now play seriously felix.

喔天 太陽要下山了 小子們

gOd dammit

喔天

speed run happening!!

我需要一些能照明的東西

*minecraft music starts playing* oh god the sombre moments..

去他的 這真的糟透了

the feelings are all coming back to me (ಥ﹏ಥ)

小豬 拜託做點事情

late at night after a party...

我連豬都不能騎嗎? 是不是在開玩笑?

you had a good time.

好吧 酷 我們該找煤礦了

but in reality..

喔完美- 啊

you just wanted to go home and play minecraft :'(

這裡 應該有- 喔 哇

and I stayed up all night.

哇(☉д⊙)!

digging D E E P down.

這裡! 我們找到煤了!

just to see what was that thing.

我們只需要小心那個岩漿

finally, a game that gave me adventure.

就是這裡 這個就是煤礦了

and made me f e e l, goddammit!

沒錯

oh my god, why- this game is so anime. (´｡• ᵕ •｡`)

我們能活下去!

oh, i need a shovel; of course.

這個綠色的條是什麼

why is minecraft so a n i m e?

我有拿到那些煤是嗎?

alright, i think we're ready to just, dig down.

天啊 這到底有多深?

so i wanna have like, the mine a little bit away from the home, right?

好的 我們有煤了

so here's- okay this is perfect :)

這也當然意味著...

we'll just cut here.

我們能弄火把了

sToNe aGe!

好 小心這個岩漿

that means... you know what kids?

我們可以在岩漿上面蓋一座橋嗎?

you make a stone goddamn pickaxe boi.

我需要越過這裡

so now we can dig a lot faster >:)

有了

*sims music*

我們要拿鑽石了小子們(⊙ω⊙)

e p i c.

這就是這個系列的目標

goddamn, i need coal, don't i?

鑽石很難到手嗎 我都不記得了

i need to find c o a l.

好 我們要往深處前進了

oh god, the sun is setting bois.

我聽到一些聲音

oh god, i need something to light up.

我有一把劍嗎? 我有

god damN iT

我有一把劍 而且我毫不畏懼使用它 去他的

this is real bad ( ; ω ; )

我為什麼-

pig, please. do something ಠ_ಠ

啊(☉д⊙) 那是什麼

i can't even ride the pig, are you kidding me?

為什麼我聽到他們的聲音!

alright, coal. let's find c o a l.

(ﾟд⊙)啊啊啊啊---!

ah perfect- (falls) oW

什麼?(ﾟдﾟ≡ﾟдﾟ)下面是什麼?

heRe. there should-

我的天什- 啊啊啊!Σ(*ﾟдﾟ )

oh! woah-

下面發生什麼了?

WO A H

下面有一個箱子!

tHERE! we found coal :)

*倒吸一口氣*

alright- let's just be careful with the lava (o_O)

(´⊙ω⊙`)下面有個箱子!

there it is. there's coal.

(´⊙ω⊙`)我要拿到那個箱子!

*ping!*

我們需要一個計劃B

yesss (✯◡✯)

好吧那我們的計劃B是什麼?

we're gonna LIVE!

來吧兄弟們!!(ﾟ∀。)

what is this green bar?

啊啊啊啊啊!!(☉д⊙)

i'm getting the coal, right? (yes, felix.)

不不不不不!(((ﾟДﾟ;)))我改變主意了

goddamn, where- how deep does this go?

我沒想到這裡有那麼多人｡ﾟヽ(ﾟ´Д`)ﾉﾟ｡

okay, we have coal!

啊!幹இдஇ...

which, of course, means we can make-

(ಠ益ಠ)

a torch :)

(超氣)

alright, let's be careful here with the lava.

啊啊啊啊!!!!ヽ(#`Д´)ﾉ

can we build a bridge over the lava? :0

噢...看看他們在那邊住得多舒服(๑´ㅂ`๑)

it's crossing it.

看看它...

we're going to get d i a m o n d bois

老天-

that's the goal of this series >:)

(☉д⊙)啊啊啊啊啊----

is it hard to get diamonds? i don't really remember...

( ˘•ω•˘ )

okay... we're going deeper... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

我會把我的東西拿回來

i hear something... (marTy)

我會復仇的

do i have a sword?

那些骷髏骨

i do... (said no one ever when i propose)

會為它們對我和兄弟們做過的事附上代價的

i have a sword and i'm not afraid to use it, goddamnit (ﾒ` ﾛ ´)

*瑞典語(?)*

why do i-

那他媽的是什麼聲音-

*herobrine music*

啊啊啊Σ(*ﾟдﾟ )

AHHHH- what wAS THAT

天

why can i hEAR THEM

去你的(#`Д´)

aHHHHH

你這噁心的

what- what is down there???

到處都是骷髏??Σ(ﾟДﾟ；≡；ﾟдﾟ)

oh mY gOd, what is-

啊啊啊啊啊(((ﾟдﾟ)))

aHHHH

為什麼太陽沒有幫我!!(╬☉д⊙)

what is HAPPENING down there???

噢 看!(´⊙ω⊙`)

(a mob orgy felix)

有好多東西!

there's a chest down there :0

啊(;ﾟдﾟ)

*gasp* there's a chEST DOWN THERE

好了 好了 我不撿了

i gotta gET THE CHEST

我不撿了 不撿了 不-

we just gotta have a plan b- alright, what's the plan b then?

(ﾟ皿ﾟﾒ)

let's gO BROS

那邊的馬給我做點什麼(#`Д´)ﾉ

AHHHHHH nO NO NO NO I CHANGE MY MIND I DIDN'T THINK THERE WERE SO MANY PEOPLE-

好吧我來挖個洞

aHHHH fuUcCk nO

我在挖洞了 我受不了了

*inhale* HHHHH

(`д´)你不能在我的洞裡傷害我!

*inhale*

(#`Д´)ﾉ你不能在我的洞裡傷害我!

*mating call*

(╬ﾟдﾟ)你不能在我的洞裡-

awww look how cozy they have it over there (￣ヘ￣)

(´;ω;`)天啊

loOk aT tHaT

。･ﾟ･(つд`ﾟ)･ﾟ･

god- *creeper*

就是這樣, 旅程開始了--

aHHHHHHHH

Felix Kjellberg的旅程

*exhausted exhale*

就在久別多年後來到Minecraft--

i'll get my stuff back >:(

為了取回他曾經的所有

i'll get revenge.

那裡有一個瀑布!

those skeletons are gonna freAKING pay for what they did to me and my father >:(

好吧 我會去找-

ushten flabben

這裡有一隻雞欸!ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ

what is that fucking sound-

小雞安安!

aHHHHHH

酷誒 超棒!

god *christian channel* DAMMIT

幾乎一切都改變了

you're diSGUSTING (spider: why u bully me)

幾乎一切都-

are there skeletons everywHERE? (yes felix, it's night)

改變了

AHHHHHHH

就是這裡

why is the sun noT HELPING :(

就是這裡

oH LoOk, there's so much stuff!

我會找到他們...

spider: did u call me disguSTING

...然後殺掉他們

AHH- alright, alright, i've had enough >:(

那些混蛋會為他們對我所做的一切付出代價的

i've had enough, i've had enough, i've had en-

他們侮辱了我

did u fCKINTDHJ

但這次我回來了 還變得更強大了

horses, dO SOMETHING. (mom @ me & sibling)

比過去的我更強!

god- dude, alright i'm digging a hole. (survival 101)

強大得無人能及!!

i'm digging a hole i'm done with this-

我要殺光他們

you can't hurt me in my hole! (x2)

我要他媽的劍 快給我

you cAN'T HURT ME- godfu-

我要怎麼製作防具?

*cries*

可能我應該先弄好防具

and so, the journey begins for felix kjellberg,

沒錯我會先弄防具

after returning years from minecraft,

我現在還不夠強

to reclaim what was once his >:)

但我已經強得知道我的極限了

there's a fREAKING WATER POOL

我在雞的身上拿到雞蛋誒!

alright, i'll- i'll find that-

我要煤 很多的煤!

there's a freAKING CHICKEN

我現在能建造熔爐了 沒錯

what up, chicken? (proceeds to attack it with a sapling)

是建造嗎? 還是什麼?

cool, man. that's awesome.

我們能弄鐵

so much has changed :(

而鐵要從鐵礦弄

so much has-

還有炭

changed. *giggles*

那這個是什麼 這個是煤

here it is. (x2)

那你怎麼弄炭?

i'll find them.

要從岩漿桶

and i'll kill them.

蛤(´ﾟдﾟ`)

those bastards will pay for what they did to me...

熱帶木

they humiliated me...

這到底- 這好複雜!(ﾟд⊙)

but this time i come back, and i come back s t r o n g

哦 我們可以用其他東西

stronger than i ever was, stronger that i ever thought i could be.

噢--好好好好好

i'll kill all of them >:(

我懂了我懂了我懂了我懂了我懂了

the sword, goddamnit, give it to me!

我是個天才

how do i build armor??

我跟小孩的程度不一樣

maybe i should build an armor first.

挖礦

yeah yeah- i'll get armor.

我要變得超級他媽的強

i'm not strong enough yet, but i'm strong enough to know my limits >:)

好吧這就是我有的了

but i got an egg from the- chicken.

沒錯...

i need coal, lots of it.

它在製造了! 它在製造了!