Who's bigger?

Am I on your list?

I got an email saying hey, do you want to meet the president?

Naturally I said: of what? and they were like: the country, you idiot

Wha- what was that?

That was Alexa. Alexa, please shut the fuck up

I'm one of those people that hates... not birthdays

I'll go to your birthday, but I hate my birthday because I hate attention

Best Twitter personality, congratulations

I know it's like very silly and it's you know, but also like super serious cuz I did beat him

Yeah, you know I'm like did this like bit where I was like suck it but also like really you could suck it. Yeah

What is Anna Kendrick's number?

Nice, try boys and girls I see you

What's up bro?

Hey

How you doing

You're doing good? You haven't put a ring on it yet? What's going on?

Cool

Am I on your list

Okay great

Slytherin obviously

Obviously

Fucking obviously

Actually, Anna was in one of my favorite movies Up in the Air

which talked about the economy and the recession and I was like

Oh, this is such an inconvenient time to be having a full stroke.

What kind of Ryan-like quality does she possess?

Mostly in bed, I find

Who's bigger?

Now, you know, they're like six years old or five years old or something I don't know

I hope it's bootylicious cuz she is

She really is

Is that an extra-large suitcase or is that how tiny you really are?

Um, rude

Don't touch me

I have a gift for you

No, no, I don't do gifts

Oh, that's too bad. Um, close your eyes, please

Does Anna Kendrick use auto-tune?

How dare you? How very dare you? That is rude

No, I don't. Have I had to do more than one take? Yes.

Have I used auto-tune? Get fucked

You kissing Blake Lively. People are really obsessed about that? Yeah, it's a tough job, you know

I would like need her voice

I can't be a Disney princess ever

Oh muffin it's so hard being you

And that's why you're the greatest

It's not because you're handsome and charismatic and talented and generous and honestly, man, I find you really annoying

I don't want to get into it tonight because everybody's dressed up. It's like a really nice night

So, you know, I shake his hand and he says I hope I didn't embarrass you earlier and I was like

Yeah, you're such an asshole

People have made me aware that I'm on lists

But they don't consult you at all

I don't have to sleep with them Trevor

There are a few sex scenes in the movie. Why is the reality like of filming those?

You know, it's great.

I should really go into porn. I'm so

Good at it

That would be my husband

Bam bitch

Really?

Or I could help you sneak snacks in your little clutch

I'm very good at that

How do you reset and get back to normal?

This is normal. I was born to be a superstar

It's like, you know fun in the way that you have fun when you're scared and your favorite characters might be dead

It's I don't know