He said, "Hey, listen, I will tattoo you guys for free."

他說：「嘿，聽著，我可以免費幫你們刺青。」

"You supply the drugs, I'll supply the ink, and let's just do this."

「你們提供毒品。而我提供墨水，如何？」

So, I mean... they just... my...

所以，我的意思是，他們... 我...

We started going in.

我們就這麼開始了。

The first night, like, after I got it, I was like, "What have I done?"

刺青後的第一個晚上，我在想：「我到底做了什麼？」

I definitely freaked out about it, and. like, looked up ways to get it removed.

我絕對嚇壞了，然後開始搜尋去除它的方法。

And, then, I was like...

然後後來，我就⋯

But it was just, like, a momentary thing.

不過這都是短暫的感受。

You can't help but think about, "Did I do the right thing? Am I gonna be okay with this?"

你沒辦法停止思考：「我做的事正確嗎？我會一直能接受它嗎？」

You never know if you're gonna like it.

你永遠不會知道你會不會喜歡它。

But, f**k it.

但，隨便啦。

There's been times where I'm like, "Yeah, I'm gonna cover that up."

我之前有想過幾次：「我要想辦法把它蓋住。」

But I just, I didn't have the money at the time to do it.

但我當時沒有錢這麼做。

There's a GoFundMe at the bottom, if you, actually... No, I'm just joking.

下面是資助我的連結，如果你，好吧，沒事，我開玩笑的。

Definitely.

當然。

So out of all my tattoos, the only one that I've ever had any doubts with was right after I got it.

在我身上所有的刺青中，唯一一個我刺完沒有任何疑慮的

And that was the knee tattoo.

就是膝蓋上的這個。

Uh... and that's because that was my first tattoo.

因為這是我的第一個刺青。

I'd like to think that, that's sort of normal.

而我希望將它視為一件正常的事。

No, from the beginning, yeah.

我從一開始就沒後悔過。

I'm just like, "I like them, and I never questioned it."

我喜歡它們，也沒有懷疑過。

There's moments where the handwriting looks like if, instead of it.

有些時候這些手寫字的 it 看起來會像 if 。

But it's fine.

但沒關係。

It's my friends handwriting.

這是我朋友的手寫字。

So I'm like, "It's just who she is."

所以我覺得這代表了她。

That's how she does a T, so.

這就是他寫 T 的方式。

It's my ex-girlfriend's handwriting.

這是我前女友寫的。

It definitely scares me from other tattoos.

這個當然比其他次刺青更讓我害怕。

It's my only one.

這是我唯一的刺青。

I haven't gotten one since.

在這之後我就沒再刺了。

Because I don't want to regret another one.

因為我不想再後悔一次。

So me and all my friends, we were...

我跟我的朋友們，我們⋯⋯

So we knew this guy.

我們認識這個人。

Long story short.

說來話長。

He was about to go to jail for a long time.

他那時候即將要坐牢一陣子。

He said, "Hey, listen, I will tattoo you guys for free."

他說：「嘿聽著，我可以免費幫你們刺青。」

"You supply the drugs."

「你們提供毒品。」

"I'll supply the ink, and let's just do this."

「而我提供墨水，如何？」

So I was like, "Hey, can you do a totem pole?

所以我問他：「你能幫我刺個圖騰柱嗎?」

"You know, like totem pole, like Hawaii, like the things?"

「那種夏威夷風的圖騰柱，你懂吧？」

And he's like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got you."

他說：「好、好，我知道。」

This guy was a biker guy.

他是個騎重機的。

He had all these skull tattoos.

他身上有很多骷髏刺青。

And I told him, specifically, I said, "Hey, bro, no skulls."

我還特別告訴他：「嘿，兄弟，不要骷髏。」

You know?

你懂嗎？

And he was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, no skulls," whatever.

他說：「好、好、好，不要骷髏。」

So I laid down.

所以我就躺下了。

And it's right down my spine.

而他就刺在我的脊椎上。

So he's going in, and I remember walking to the bathroom, looking in the mirror, turning around and looking back and seeing it.

在他刺完之後，我還記得我走到廁所，看著鏡子，轉過身來回頭看它。

And my first thought was "That's not a totem pole."

我第一個閃過的想法是：「這不是圖騰柱。」

No, I didn't regret it.

我並不後悔。

I looked back, and I laughed cause I was young and immature.

我回過頭然後笑了，因為當時我年輕又不成熟。

But at the same time, I'm, like, "I am a different person, now."

但同時我也在想：「我現在是個不同的人了。」

Yeah, I wouldn't do some of the tattoos that I have on my arm.

後悔，我會選擇不刺某些手臂上的刺青。

I would keep my brothers.

我會保留我的兄弟們。

I'd keep the rose.

這朵玫瑰。

And I'd keep my wife.

我也會保留我的老婆。

But some of the other ones, I'm just like, "What?"

但其他某些刺青就讓我心想：「啥鬼？」

You did that out of an impulse.

你在衝動之下刺了他們。

You did that to...

你因為⋯⋯

I remember this one artist.

我記得一位刺青師。

He was like, "Oh, this is good, but do you want to take some time?"

他說：「哇，這很棒，但你需要再思考一下嗎？」

And I was like, "No, no, no."

我說：「不用、不用。」

"This is what I really, really want."

「這就是我真正想要的。」

And I've learned over time, that to just take a step back.

隨著時間過去我學到了，要退一步想想。

But you have to go through that.

但你還是需要面對。

Because it makes you, it makes me who I am, today.

因為它造就了你，它造就了今天的我。

I definitely think in the future of me being a grandma one day, and just having these tattoos, and what that would look like.

我當然想過，當我變成奶奶時，身上這些刺青看起來會是如何。

But, also, they're a part of me.

但同時，它們也是我的一部分。

They're who I am.

它們就是我。

I love them.

我喜歡它們。

And it just shows that I'm willing to just share my thoughts on my skin, I guess.

我想這代表我很樂意在我的肌膚上分享我的想法。

I think regret is wasted energy.

我認為後悔很浪費力氣。

Because regret is continuing to go back in time which we cannot change.

因為後悔就是一直回到那些我們已經不能改變的時間點。

You wouldn't be where you are, today, in so many senses if the decision hadn't been made.

要是沒有那些決定，就沒有今天的你。

You can't be mad at yourself 10 years down the line if you've evolved into this other person.

如果你變成了另一個人，你不會對這十年來的自己感到生氣。

Because that tattoo, that experience, those decisions helped you get to where you are to decide that you no longer like this.

因為這個刺青、這個經驗，和那些決定幫助你成為今天的你。

You wouldn't write a fucking novel, and, then, go back 10 years later, and change one sentence out of that novel.

你不會在寫了一本小說之後，又回到十年前然後只改了一句話。

This is part of my book.

這是這本書的一部分。

You just get to read it.

你只需要閱讀他。

I think there's a lot of things that mark you in this world.

在這世界上還有很多事提醒了你是誰。

But they don't define you, right?

但這些都不能定義你，對吧？

You can get as many tattoos as possible.

你要刺多少刺青都可以。

But does that really, really define who you are?

但他們真的定義了你是誰嗎？

I don't think so.

我不這麼認為。

For me, it doesn't.

對我來說不是這樣的。