Could you just watch my stuff?

I'm gonna run to the bathroom.

- Oh sure.

- Thank you.

(dramatic music)

- Hey!

Get the hell away from that stuff!

- What?

- I said get away!

- Ahh!

How clever of the owner of those belongings

to appoint someone to watch her stuff.

- That's right.

No one's going near that copy of "Eat, Pray, Love" as long

as I have anything to do about it!

- Fine, I guess I'll just have to steal the secrets

of self-empowerment elsewhere.

- Don't worry, I'm watching that lady's stuff.

- Oh are you now?

Think you have what it takes to protect

that lady's chapstick from my dry, dry lips?

- Go for my lips easily.

- I'm thinking I have what it takes, chap.

What do you think you're doing?

- I'm just busing this coffee cup.

- That cup belongs to the nameless woman in the bathroom.

(claps)

I have snipers planted all around this cafe to end anyone

who goes near that stuff.

If you do... (gunshot)

(screaming)

Now scram!

- Okay.

- But also can I get more half and half please?

Thank you.

No one is going near those belongings.

You got that chumps?

- That woman was incredibly smart to have someone

watch her stuff, but those cough drops will be mine.

- That highlighter in there?

Sure would be mighty helpful highlighting

my friend's screenplay.

- Don't forget that loose pack M&M's she put in there

a month ago and forgot about and now they're just loose

and crumbly at the bottom.

That stuff is tasty.

- No one is stealing that stuff!

Nobody!

(laughing)

(coughing)

- Soon, my slightly annoying cough will be cured.

- What happened here?

- Don't worry, your stuff is safe.

- Where are my cough drops?

- Oh.

Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know.

They must have taken it.

- I said watch my stuff.