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  • Okay...

  • Finally done equipping my glasses with access to all my state of the art technology...

  • for Peter in case I die.

  • Now to just write some vague instructions to turn them on...

  • and give them to Nick Fury, who will hopefully just hand them over to Peter one day.

  • Here's a bright idea.

  • How about you DON'T give military grade death drone controlling 80's glasses

  • to an easily influenced hormonal teenager just because he has a foxy aunt.

  • Oh dang! You're right!

  • Here you go Rhodey!

  • And I... ♫

  • Will try not to forget you

  • OooooOOooooooo

  • But come on let's be realistic

  • Things change after time

  • Oh yeah

  • Oh but you were the best... ♫

  • When you were around

  • Gone, but not forgotten.

  • Five years ago half of the world blipped out of existence.

  • but thanks to the acts of these mighty heroes...

  • those who blipped away were saved.

  • Well... everyone who wasn't on an airplane.

  • (screams)

  • Or on a boat...

  • (screams)

  • Or people in high traffic areas.

  • Okay I think they get it!

  • It's really nice to have someone to talk to about this super hero stuff.

  • Anytime.

  • Thanks.

  • What the!

  • uh oh! Why are you a ghost?

  • Whelp! Gotta go!

  • Byeeeeeee!

  • You're up kid!

  • Alright, Fire, try this on for size!

  • What the heck?

  • What is happening here?

  • Whelp. Gotta go!

  • Byeeeeeeeee!

  • Now that is some bull crap.

  • Fury wouldn't say crap.

  • Dang it girl! You're gonna give me away!

  • Oh man! I'm out of webs!

  • I really wish their was a multiverse.

  • Well lucky for you there is!

  • What? Who are you?!

  • We call it the Spider-verse, but yeah the multiverse is totally a thing.

  • Hey. I'm Spider-Man.

  • Whoa!

  • And I'm the Amazing Spider-Man!

  • Awesome!

  • What makes you so amazing?

  • I... I can ride a skateboard.

  • Okay.

  • And we're all here too!

  • Hey.

  • Awesome! Let's do this!

  • Does anyone have any extra webs?

  • Whoohoo Bam!

  • Ha ha!

  • What's up drone?

  • This little piggy went SMASH!

  • Pew Pew Pew!

  • You ever heard of the shoulder touch?!

  • Yoohooo!

  • (kiss)

  • Kablamo!

  • Edith, is this real?

  • All illusions are terminated, Peter.

  • Are we sure about that?

  • I say we poke him with a stick!

  • Ow! Stop! I'm dead!

  • Yeah. He's not dead.

  • Dang it Edith!

  • You got me?

  • I got you.

  • Holy crap!

  • That was close!

  • Well at least I didn't die.

  • Oh no there's more!

  • AAAAAGGGGGH!

  • EDITH, terminate all the drones!

  • I'm sorry. I can't do that, Peter.

  • What? Why?

  • You have not been granted control from Quentin Beck.

  • Sorry Pal.

  • Oh my gosh! AAAAAGGGH!

  • So the drones got him...

  • Which was kind of sad.

  • But now I can continue to manipulate the masses

  • Because I'm a master illusionist.

  • Oh you think you're a master of illusions?

  • Ha ha ha. Don't make me laugh

  • You're a rip off of Syndrome at best.

  • Exactly!

  • Hey, Bubble Boy!

  • Why don't you take a seat next to the Mandarin over there

  • And come back when you're done copying me!

  • I'm not copying you!

  • If anything you copied me!

  • You wish!

  • You guys are just jealous because everyone finds me most attractive.

  • (laughter)

  • Yeah what about Killmonger?

  • I mean me!

  • I am obviously the most attractive

  • Everybody shut up!

  • I'm preparing for my return.

  • I wish I could quit you.

  • EDITH? Yes, Peter?

  • I'd like to transfer control to Quentin Beck.

  • Quentin Beck

  • Former Stark employee.

  • What?

  • Developed hologram projection technology.

  • And was fired for being unstable.

  • Are you serious?

  • Multiple hologram drones detected.

  • Former Stark employee.

  • Is there something wrong?

  • Do you still wish to transfer control, Peter?

  • No! Cancel that request, EDITH!

  • Give me those glasses!

  • Hey do you have super strength?

  • Because I do!

  • My drones!

  • My guy!

  • My plan!

  • After that Nick Fury took Mysterio and his gang away...

  • I made out with MJ for a bit...

  • Told her my secret identity.

  • WHAT?! WHAT?!

  • Dude!

  • You can't give away your secret identity!

  • Peter, Tony would want you to say...

  • Well I did and I'm awesome so in your face.

  • not now EDITH.

  • What's the big deal?

  • I thought you tell girls your secret identity all the time.

  • Of course I do!

  • Do you know why?

  • Because I'm an adult and I can handle it.

  • You're just a kid.

  • He didn't tell me.

  • It was actually pretty obvious.

  • Honestly I'm embarrassed the whole class hasn't figured it out by now.

  • You're like always missing when Spider-Man is around...

  • And you both sound exactly the same.

  • That's not obvious!

  • We don't sound the same.

  • Does anyone else know your secret identity?

  • Not really just a few people like...

  • Aunt May...

  • and Ned...

  • and Happy...

  • And Nick Fury...

  • and Maria Hill...

  • and Doctor Strange...

  • And well actually all of the Avengers know

  • But they're all good guys!

  • And that's it?

  • I guess I tell Mysterio my name

  • And I hung out with him in what I thought was a public bar...

  • without my mask on.

  • I'm pretty sure the vulture knows your name too.

  • And he's still alive.

  • hehe.

  • Yeah you're screwed.

  • No you guys are being paranoid.

  • I've got this under control.

  • But that's not all folks

  • Here's the real blockbuster!

  • Brace yourself you might wanna sit down.

  • Spider-Man's real name is...

  • (gasp) EDITH, disrupt this transmission!

  • Of course Peter. Spider-Man's name... is...

  • What?!

  • That's not true!

  • I'm JJ Jameson!

  • I'm not Spider-Man!

  • Spider-Man is...

  • What is happening, people!?

  • Look. Here's his photo!

  • The real Spider-Man is...

  • You are all fired!

  • Whew!

  • Hey. What's up?

  • Hey. Just calling to check in.

  • So.. I think it went well.

  • They don't seem to suspect anything.

  • Did you say Because I'm Batman?

  • No.

  • You gotta say Because I'm Batman.

  • Why?

  • Because I'm Batman!

  • I'm sorry! The opportunity didn't really present itself.

  • I seriously doubt that.

  • Well I don't know what to do. They're all gone now.

  • Just don't forget next time!

  • Ugh!

  • (sigh)

  • Do you think we should head back?

  • No! They got this.

  • You don't think that will create confusion?

  • Make people question who's real or not?

  • No.

  • Or how long they've been Skrulls?

  • No.

  • You don't think sending Skrulls in our stead makes it look like we didn't care about helping Spider-Man deal with his problems on Earth?

  • You guys are ruining my space vacation!

  • Where the heck are the Avengers?!

Okay...

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