Is it really as bad as the critics say?

Folks, we really don't like being mean

here at the Nerdist News office,

because instead of harping on how much things suck,

or how much we hate something,

we'd rather try and have practical criticisms or critiques.

But this doesn't always happen.

Sometimes we slip up, but we do certainly set out

to be positive and or constructive at the very least.

But then sometimes things happen.

Things that are so far outside of our control or purrview

that we just have to sit back, laugh, and point.

Things like the original version Sonic,

or "X-men Dark Phoenix" that's a movie all right.

Or even that good old starter Pokemon popplio,

that sweet clown seel.

We don't like ourselves when we do it but,

hey we can't help it,

we're only human and these things happen.

And sadly one of these things happened again this week,

the release of the film "Cats".

Now from the very first moment we saw the first teaser

at this years San Diego Comic Con,

we knew there was truly something special about this movie.

And by special we mean, horrifying Eldritch,

the stuff of nightmares.

But could the final product really be that bad?

Well the film is out this week,

which means the reviews are out there in the wild

and if most of them are to be believed then meowza,

it truly is that bad.

So lets have some fun and cut through some of the best

of the worst reviews of the movie "Cats".

- [Bustopher] Here we go, ha ha.

- Let's start things off on the nicer side

with our pals over at /Film whose review read,

"There is a thin line between idiocy and genius,

and "Cats" pukes a hairball on it

and rubs its ass all over it.

This is a movie where a cat version of Rebel Wilson

wears a halter top underneath a fur skinsuit

that she takes off with a zipper,

before leading an army of cockroaches in a song

and dance number alongside mice with human baby faces."

Wow, that was the nice one?

Jesus, this is why I'm a dog person.

Karen Han over at Polygon wrote,

""Cats" defies all principles of linear time

or practical storytelling.

"Cats" is a fever dream, a hallucination,

an approximation of what would happen

if your third eye actually opened

and you could suddenly see into the astral plane."

Well folks look at the bright side a ticket to "Cats"

is probably cheaper than a weekend doing mushrooms

with your friends at Joshua Tree.

Now over at Jezebel Rich Juzwiak

hit the nail squarely on the head.

"You have to hand it to the iternet's hivemind:

Sometimes we get it right."

He elaborates on this point with,

" "Cats" mocking turns out to be entirely justified.

The extent of the travesty at hand

was immediately absorbed and expressed.

This much is clear after sitting through

all 110 minutes of the thing,

wishing I could wriggle out of my seat in the movie theater

like an actual cat does

from the arms of its overbearing owner."

Wow, now Peter Bradshaw at The Guardian took time

to have some fun with his review,

breaking it up into traditional rhyme

a la the original T.S. Eliot poem.

"The twitching of ears on their heads is distracting.

As they gaze at the greescreen and sashay and crawl,

It's weird to behold them all gurning and acting,

And why do so many resemble Darth Maul?"

Whoa, whoa, let's not drag Star Wars into this,

they have their own problems,

watch previous episodes to find out what.

But speaking of that weird CGI Empire's John Nugent

had this to say,

"Neither human nor cat, they all look like

laboratory mutants put through a Snapchat filter.

Your brain will never comprehend it.

It's jarring from the first minute

and remains jarring until the last."

Robert Abele from The Wrap chimed in with

"Tom Hooper's jarring fever dream of a spectacle

is like something that escaped from Dr. Moreau's

creature laboratory instead of a poet's

and a composer's feline (uni)verse,

an un-catty valley hybrid of physical

and digital that unsettles and crashes

way more often than it enchants."

And honestly, this seems to be the general sentiment

across the board.

Metro UK said "It is literally the stuff of nightmares."

The Hollywood Reporter, "I found it all exhausting."

Boston Globe, "Oh God, my eyes'"

I mean look, come on, could it really be that bad?

Thankfully not, Alissa Wilkinson over at Vox,

had some kind words for "Cats"

"It's literally incredible.

I hope I never see it again."

And Angie Han over at Mashable had this to say,

"I gasped with laughter, I covered my face,

I pulled at my hair,

I clasped my hands over my mouth to keep from screaming.

"Cats" had broken me, and I'd never felt happier."

I fact, our own Nerdist.com features editor

Micah Arbiter had this to say,

" "Cats" first act will leave you curious,

confused, and maybe even a little ill at ease.

But 20 minutes into "Cats"- or maybe it's 30, or 40,

or two days, or nine days; who the hell can tell?

A switch will flip, and you'll come

to some vague understanding

of what you're being beckoned into.

For some reason, this works for me.

I don't know.

It's nuts.

It's "Cats".

It's hard to explain.

I sprinted home from the screening and I'm nauseated."

Well, there yeah have it folks,

if you were looking for an insane spectacle

outside the realms of the galaxy far, far away,

and "The Rise of Skywalker" this weekend

it sounds like "Cats" is the purrfect way to spend

a couple of hours.

But what do you folks think?

Do these reviews make you want to go see "Cats"

right meow?

Make sure you read our full review over on Nerdist.com.

Or are you gonna go see multiple screenings

of Star Wars "The Rise of Skywalker"?

Our review is also up on Nerdist.com now

and spoiler free.

And tell me what movie has the best anthropomorphic cat?

The cats from "Cats"?

Or Mike Myers from "The Cat in the Hat"?

Let's discuss.

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