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  • All right, let's move on to the world of news media.

  • We're now joined by senior media correspondent

  • -Ronny Chieng, everybody! -(cheers and applause)

  • Thank you. Thank you.

  • Hey, Trevor, I'm not sure if you're familiar

  • with the internet or TV, but if you are,

  • you've probably seen this (bleep)

  • that happened a few days ago on Fox News.

  • In the first presidential debate,

  • China was mentioned 12 times.

  • So we sent Watters down to New York's Chinatown

  • to sample political opinion.

  • Okay, first of all, let me get this straight.

  • They say "China" in the debate so you go to Chinatown?

  • -(laughter) -In New York?

  • So when they mention Mexico, do you send someone to Taco Bell?

  • (laughter)

  • Chinatown is nothing like China!

  • They got nothing to do with each other.

  • That's like if they brought up women's rights,

  • so I decide to go over to Fox News to get some opinions.

  • (laughter)

  • Now, as dumb as that premise is,

  • it is nothing compared to the idiocy that followed.

  • And by the way, we haven't added anything to this.

  • This is the original footage from Fox News.

  • (Asian-style music plays)

  • (loud boom)

  • (dance beat playing)

  • Am I supposed to bow to say hello?

  • (speaks Chinese)

  • I like these watches. Are they hot?

  • JCPenney. $3.98.

  • (laughing)

  • Who are you gonna vote for?

  • Clinton's wife has a name. What is it?

  • Uh... oh, man.

  • I forget it.

  • Well, snap out of it.

  • -Do you know karate? -Yeah, I know.

  • Hit my hand.

  • (martial arts grunting)

  • Ah... that's the spot.

  • Is it the Year of the Dragon?

  • Rabbit?

  • No, it's actually the Year of Go (bleep) Yourself!

  • (laughter, applause, whooping)

  • What the hell was that?

  • How was that on the news?

  • In fact, how was that even on TV?

  • Where the (bleep) did this come from?

  • I mean, everyone's been wondering who'll be the target

  • of 2016's worst racism.

  • I didn't even know Asians were in the running.

  • Oh, and by the way, if you're gonna be racist,

  • at least get your stereotypes right,

  • you ignorant sack of (bleep).

  • Karate isn't Chinese, it's Japanese!

  • And you're doing it in a taekwondo studio,

  • which is Korean, you (bleep) jack-off!

  • Jack on! Jack off! Jack on! Jack off!

  • (cheering, applause)

  • (bleep) this guy!

  • And seriously! Mr. Miyagi?

  • Update your reference material.

  • That's like me making fun of Americans

  • for Saturday Night Fever and Mr. T.

  • Yeah, real topical stuff, buddy.

  • If you want to come at Chinese people,

  • make fun of China's high pollution,

  • or the fact that they censor most of the Internet.

  • Which in this case may actually be a good thing,

  • since no person in China will ever have to watch

  • your garbage attempt at comedy!

  • Donald Trump beating up on China at the debate.

  • (chuckles)

  • (crickets chirping)

  • Trump has been beating up on China.

  • How does that make you feel?

  • Speak! Speak! Why don't you speak?

  • Hey, asshole, they don't speak English.

  • That's why they're silent.

  • It's easy to make fun of someone when they can't respond.

  • Here, I'll show you. Hey, douchebag,

  • why do you look like a guy who carries around a pack of roofies

  • -just in case? -(laughter, groaning)

  • And why do you look like you have hookers on speed-dial?

  • Oh, and follow-up question:

  • Is it hard to fit Bill O'Reilly's entire scrotum

  • in your mouth?

  • -(crickets chirping) -(laughter, groaning)

  • This might come as a surprise, but Chinese Americans do

  • actually have genuine thoughts on this year's election.

  • That's why I went to Chinatown to speak to people

  • in a language they understood-- human.

  • ♪ ♪

  • Wait. You understand American politics enough

  • to lodge a protest vote?

  • Definitely.

  • I'm from Queens.

  • What are your thoughts on the Jesse Watters video on Fox News?

  • The chicken(bleep) reporter who came down here

  • and thought he was big (bleep) because he talked to people

  • who couldn't speak English?

  • Yeah, that douche bag piece of (bleep).

  • The one who was sent here by the larger chicken (bleep)

  • who wouldn't come to Chinatown because he was afraid

  • -to do it himself, you mean that one? -Yeah, that guy.

  • The one with no testicles, the one who came down here

  • who said, "Let me talk to some old people

  • -Totally. -"and let me put them on camera

  • "without asking them,

  • "and sort of put them on national television

  • and made fun of them in the worst possible way,"

  • -that asshole? -Okay, I think we're talking

  • -about the same guy. -Right, right.

  • What was the question again?

  • I can't remember.

  • (applause, cheering)

All right, let's move on to the world of news media.

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