that incredibly confident man that everyone admires,

the only thing you need to do is.

(pen scratching on screen)

In this video, I'm going to change your perspective

on what confidence is, and I'm gonna share with you

the single most impactful thing that skyrocketed

my own personal confidence.

Let's start this video off by asking a question.

Have you ever paused and asked yourself,

what is the definition of confidence?

The Oxford English Dictionary has 11 definitions

of confidence, but it's the first two

that are especially helpful.

The first definition is,

the mental attitude of trusting in

or relying on a person or thing.

The second definition is,

the feeling sure or certain of a fact or issue.

Both of these definitions have a common thread,

trust and certainty.

Confidence hinges on you being sure about something.

It could be that you feel certain

that a given outcome will be achieved, or certain that

you'll have five friends in the audience cheering you on.

Or you will be utterly positive that you will be able to

remember and say the first three lines of your presentation.

Neither of these definitions say that confident

is a state of being or a personal characteristic.

Confident isn't really something that we are or aren't.

It's something that we feel at certain points in time

under certain conditions.

I'll give you an example.

Kobe Bryant has been said to be

one of the best basketball players of all time,

and he is known for his inner beliefs

and confidence within himself.

There is no question that this is a confident man

on the basketball court, but what if we put Kobe

in an environment where he is not as experienced?

Here is a short clip of Kobe

talking about his experience with accounting and finance.

(Kobe Bryant laughs)

- [Interviewer] Are you getting good

at reading balance sheets and income statements?

- No, I'm getting better at it, but it is not my strength.

- [Narrator] Does that sound like someone who is confident?

Of course not!

He isn't confident,

because he does not have much experience in that area,

opposed the basketball court,

where is has 30 years of experience.

But experience is not the only key to confidence.

The key to confidence is, both, experience and results.

Kobe is so confident on the basketball court

because he has five championship rings,

and he even was voted

the most valuable player in the entire league.

If you want to become that incredibly confident man

that everyone admires, the only thing you need to do

is get results in the area where you want to be confident.

I think many men associate confidence

with being good with people and dating.

If you want to get confidence in the dating world,

you have to get experience and results in the dating world.

But being confident with dating women

will not make you confident in everything that you do.

A really common suggestion to improve your confidence,

quote unquote, is to dress better.

Yes, dressing better will give you more confidence

in your appearance, but dressing better

will not improve your conversation skills.

It will not make you funny or more witty.

If you want to become funnier and wittier,

what you should do is go take improv classes.

And, through that, you'll start making people laugh,

which is a result,

in which case you'll become more confident in that area.

Again, confidence is not really a state of being.

It's something that you have under certain circumstances.

If you want to become confident in something,

then you have to get experience and results

in that certain area.

If you do that, you'll become a rock star in no time.

If you enjoyed this video, please leave it a like

and, of course, subscribe to the channel.

Thanks for watching, and I'll see you in the next one.

(gentle piano music)