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  • - [Grapefruit] Ahoy-hoy, fruit-lovers.

  • It is I, Grapefruit.

  • - [Little Apple] And me, Little Apple.

  • Today, the "Try Not to Cry Challenge"

  • is back by popular demand!

  • - Gonna warn ya right now, my little bro,

  • I prepared extensively for this.

  • - Ha!

  • Is that right?

  • - Oh, that's right.

  • I've refrained from drinking water

  • for the last three days.

  • Tears will not form easily

  • in this magnificent, dehydrated body of mine.

  • Plus, I'm super tough and I never cry at everything.

  • So, feel free to throw the towel in now

  • and save yourself the embarrassment.

  • - Oh, I wouldn't be so sure, Grapefruit!

  • I brought a secret weapon with me,

  • three of them, actually,

  • one for each round!

  • - Ah, thanks for reminding me.

  • Here's how it's gonna go down, fruit-lovers;

  • today's "Try Not to Cry Challenge" has three rounds.

  • Every round will get one chance

  • to make the other person cry.

  • Winner gets points, loser gets remembered as a crybaby.

  • - You ready to do this?

  • - Of course!

  • I'm always ready to win! (chuckles)

  • For round one, I have prepared

  • a dramatic reading of the famously sad song,

  • "Cat's in the Cradle".

  • A-hem, a child arrived just the other day.

  • He came into the world the usual way-

  • - Well, that's nice and all, Grapefruit,

  • but see if you can watch this without crying!

  • (melancholy music)

  • [Chorus]- Baby kittens, without mommies.

  • - Oh, dear.

  • [Narrator]- Every day you don't adopt a kitten,

  • is another day without a mommy for a kitten like this.

  • And this.

  • And this.

  • - How you holding up over there?

  • (struggling)

  • - You, ah, you telling me these kittens don't have homes?

  • [Narrator]- We even have this baby duck,

  • who thinks he's a kitten.

  • - Okay, turn it off!

  • - Why?

  • - Because if you don't, I'm gonna-

  • (cries loudly)

  • - All right! Round one goes to Little Apple!

  • - Stop gloating and hand me the tissues already!

  • - You ready for round two?

  • (sniffs)

  • - I-I was born ready for round two.

  • I'm bringing the fire this round,

  • so brace your face to be smeared with tears!

  • (laughing)

  • You see this?

  • - Yeah, looks like a white speck.

  • - This is my friend, is us.

  • It is a wide angle of Earth floating in

  • the emptiness of space.

  • Everyone you ever known is contained inside this

  • little speck.

  • Does it make you feel insignificant?

  • Alone?

  • Does it make you weep to know how pitifully small we are

  • compared to the vastness of-

  • - Yeah, here's that same commercial again.

  • [Chorus]- Baby kittens, without mommies.

  • - What the?

  • I-that's not fair to bring the-

  • (loud weeping)

  • - All right!

  • Round two goes to the little guy!

  • - Look at the baby duck!

  • He's thinks he's a kitten!

  • He's such a stupid little baby duck.

  • (crying)

  • - Tissue?

  • - Thank you!

  • - Should we just call it?

  • I'm up two rounds to zero.

  • No way can you win this one.

  • - Ah, what if we make it interesting?

  • - I'm listening?

  • - Round three is now worth triple points.

  • - Okay, I'm game.

  • - As am I, for I have brought my viola.

  • Behold the most tear-inducing rendition of

  • Greensleeves you've ever laid your

  • non-existent ears upon.

  • - Yeah, I just brought this same commercial again.

  • [Chorus]- Baby kittens-

  • (violent crying)

  • (victory sound effect)

  • - Tissue?

  • - No, hand me the phone!

  • Hello, Kitten Adoption Agency?

  • I'll take em'!

  • I'll take em' all!

  • Yes, even the baby duck!

  • Especially the baby duck!

  • (crying)

  • - Well I guess I won the try not to cry challenge!

  • But either way, you won too!

  • - That's true.

  • Today Grapefruit discovered his purpose in life.

  • To be a mother.

  • (meowing and quaking)

  • That's it, come here my children!

  • Come to me!

  • Oh, I'm so happy!

  • (crying)

  • - Oh, wow!

  • I just remembered something!

  • - What's that?

  • - I'm allergic to cat dander!

  • - You're allergic to kittens?

  • - I am!

  • (both crying)

  • We should call our moms!

  • - Mom!

  • I love you so much!

  • (crying)

  • (upbeat music)

- [Grapefruit] Ahoy-hoy, fruit-lovers.

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