IN MY HOME STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA.

( CHEERING ) "THE LATE SHOW" WILL BE LIVE

AFTER THE DEBATE, BEFORE THEY'VE EVEN SWEPT UP ALL THE

BILLIONAIRE TEETH.

BECAUSE IF THE LAST DEBATE IS ANY INDICATION, THIS THING IS

GOING TO BE A DONNYBROOK.

THE REIGNING QUEEN OF PAIN IS MASSACHUSETTS SENATOR AND SCHOOL

PRINCIPAL ON KARAOKE NIGHT, ELIZABETH WARREN.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AFTER NEW HAMPSHIRE AND IOWA,

PUNDITS WERE READY TO BURY WARREN, IN FACT, IN A RECENT

NBC, "WALL STREET JOURNAL" POLL WARREN WASN'T INCLUDED IN THE

QUESTION ABOUT GENERAL ELECTION MATCH-UPS.

IT'S THE BIGGEST MEDIA SNUB SINCE THE "NEW YORK TIMES"

REPORTED "BUZZ ALDRIN AND FRIEND LAND ON MOON."

( LAUGHTER ) BUT AFTER HER PERFORMANCE IN THE

NEVADA DEBATE, WARREN'S BACK ON THE MAP THANKS TO HER HAMMERING

OF FORMER NEW YORK CITY MAYOR MICHAEL BLOOMBERG.

( LAUGHTER ) BLOOMBERG HAD NOT PARTICIPATED

IN ANY OF THE DEMOCRATIC DEBATES.

AND RIGHT OFF THE BAT, WARREN HIT HIM WITH THE BAT.

>> I'D LIKE TO TALK ABOUT WHO WE'RE RUNNING AGAINST.

A BILLIONAIRE WHO CALLS WOMEN FAT BROADS AND HORSE-FACED

LESBIANS AND NO, I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT

DONALD TRUMP, I'M TALKING ABOUT MAYOR BLOOMBERG.

( AUDIENCE REACTS ) >> Stephen: OH, THAT'S GOT TO

STING.

THOUGH, WE DID KNOW YOU WEREN'T TALKING ABOUT DONALD TRUMP

BECAUSE YOU SAID "BILLIONAIRE."

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )

WARREN WAS QUOTING A BOOK PRODUCED BY BLOOMBERG'S

EMPLOYEES ON HIS 48TH BIRTHDAY-- SO RIGHT AFTER THE INVENTION OF

THE PRINTING PRESS.

IT'S CALLED "THE PORTABLE BLOOMBERG."

WHICH COINCIDENTALLY WAS HIS NICKNAME IN COLLEGE.

"COME ON, MIKE, HOP INTO MY POCKET.

WE'RE GOING FOR BEERS."

( LAUGHTER ) HE'S A SMALL MAN.

( LAUGHTER ) BLOOMBERG DISMISSED THE QUOTES

IN THE BOOK AS "BORSCHT BELT JOKES."

CLASSIC BORSCHT BELT HUMOR.

YOU KNOW THE OLD JOKE: TAKE MY WIFE, PLEASE.

SHE'S A HORSEFACED LESBIAN!

( LAUGHTER ) THEN WARREN TOOK BLOOMBERG TO

THE MAT FOR HIS TREATMENT OF WOMEN IN HIS COMPANY:

>> HE HAS GOTTEN SOME NUMBER OF WOMEN-- DOZENS, WHO KNOWS--

TO SIGN NONDISCLOSURE AGREEMENTS BOTH FOR SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND

GENDER DISCRIMINATION IN THE WORKPLACE.

SO, MR. MAYOR, ARE YOU WILLING TO RELEASE ALL OF THOSE WOMEN

FROM THOSE NONDISCLOSURE AGREEMENTS?

>> WE HAVE A VERY FEW NONDISCLOSURE AGREEMENTS--

>> HOW MANY IS THAT?

>> LET ME FINISH.

>> HOW MANY IS THAT?

>> NONE OF THEM ACCUSE ME OF DOING ANYTHING OTHER THAN MAYBE

THEY DIDN'T LIKE A JOKE I TOLD.

>> STEPHEN: YEAH, HE WAS JUST JOKING.

NOT HIS FAULT THAT THEY DIDN'T GET HIS BORSCHT BELT HUMOR.

( LAUGHTER ) EVERY COMEDIAN KNOWS YOU HAVE TO

GET NONDISCLOSURE AGREEMENTS WHEN PEOPLE ARE HEARING YOUR

JOKES.

EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE, LOOK UNDER YOUR SEATS.

YOU'LL FIND AN N.D.A. TAPED UNDERNEATH.

AND PEOPLE AT HOME, GO TO COLBERTLATESHOW.COM/NDA, PRINT

IT AND SIGN IT.

OTHERWISE, TURN OFF THE TV.

( APPLAUSE ) DO NOT TURN OFF THE TV.

BUT ONE PERSON THOUGHT BLOOMBERG'S DEBATE PERFORMANCE

HAD REAL POTENTIAL: AND BY PERSON, I MEAN HIS CAMPAIGN

BECAUSE THEY RELEASED A STATEMENT SAYING "IT TOOK HIM

JUST 45 MINUTES IN HIS FIRST DEBATE IN TEN YEARS TO GET HIS

LEGS ON THE STAGE."

YEAH, IT TOOK HIM 45 MINUTES TO GET HIS LEGS BECAUSE IN THE

FIRST FIVE MINUTES, WARREN HAD TORN HIM LIMB FROM LIMB.

( APPLAUSE ) AND SHE WAS NOT DONE WITH HIM.

HERE'S WHAT WARREN SAID SATURDAY:

>> I WANT TO TALK SPECIFICALLY FOR JUST A MINUTE AT THE TOP

ABOUT A THREAT THAT IS COMING OUR WAY, AND IT'S A BIG THREAT.

NOT A TALL ONE, BUT A BIG ONE.

MICHAEL BLOOMBERG.

( AUDIENCE REACTS ) ( PIANO RIFF )

>> Stephen: WOW!

WOW!

WARREN IS FOLLOWING THE WORDS OF MICHELLE OBAMA: WHEN THEY GO

LOW, WE ALSO GO LOW, BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE MIKE BLOOMBERG IS.

( LAUGHTER ) AFTER HER DEBATE PERFORMANCE,

WARREN'S CAMPAIGN ANNOUNCED THEY HAD RAISED MORE THAN $2.8

MILLION IN ONE DAY.

WOW, YOU GOTTA THINK SHE GOING TO HIT HIM AGAIN TOMORROW

BECAUSE HE'S CLEARLY A PINATA FULL OF MONEY.

( LAUGHTER ) WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.