According to WebMD, you already have it.

Now, every day, we learn more

about how this virus is affecting the world.

So let's check in on the latest coronavirus news

in our ongoing segment, Is This How We Die?

-♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause)

Last week, we learned that coronavirus

has been making its way through Europe

like a trust fund kid on a gap year.

And after throwing Italy into chaos,

the next stop on the trip is Paris.

Uh, big changes in France today.

The number of cases there has nearly doubled to 100.

The government there

really taking some pretty extreme measures.

NEWSWOMAN: The French government banned indoor public gatherings

of more than 5,000 people.

That led to the Louvre Museum shutting down.

NEWSMAN: The health minister advising people

not to kiss or shake hands when meeting

as President Macron did days ago with Italy's leader.

Oh, come on, Macron.

You serious?

Italy's got corona,

and you're kissing their prime minister?

And it's not just one kiss. It's three.

That's three chances to get sick.

Yeah. You're just like, "Healthy. Healthy.

Dead."

(laughter)

And that's right.

The situation is getting so serious

that French people have been told

not to kiss each other hello, which must be hard.

That's, like, such an ingrained part of their culture.

You know, it's like telling New Yorkers

not to jack off on the subway.

That's how we say hello.

(laughter)

But these protocols make sense.

Right? Greeting people with physical contact

is not a good idea right now.

And black people are the only people

who are really prepared for this, you know?

Everyone else is, like, shaking hands with you,

but black people, like, we have many different ways

to greet each other, you know?

We've got the distant head nod, you know?

It's, like, that whole thing.

Yeah. You know, you just...

"You look sick. Stay over there."

You know?

And even when black people shake hands,

it's so complicated that by the end of it,

the virus is like, "Yo, you lost me on the second...

"I-I didn't... I didn't get that part.

"That... Yeah, you-you got me.

I don't... I don't know what... I'm out. I'm out."

(laughter)

Now, while France is only beginning to grapple

with how to contain the outbreak,

Korea is showing the world how it's done.

Outside of China, South Korea has the most coronavirus cases.

They've come up with a new, innovative way

to test for the virus in the form of a drive-through.

This is a free service

that the city of Goyang is offering anybody.

I just took the test, actually.

Vehicles come through here, and you get a questionnaire,

you get your hands sanitized,

and then you go through a number of stations here.

Damn, Korea is advanced.

They've got drive-through testing?

And apparently, using this, they have screened

more than 100,000 people for coronavirus,

which is impressive and probably the first time

people going through a drive-through

are getting healthier.

But also, why isn't America doing this?

Right? This is the land of the drive-through.

Yeah. Drive-through fast food, drive-through banks,

drive-through liquor stores.

I mean, when I'm in a rush, I go to a drive-through therapist.

You know? It's just like, "Stop being sad."

"Thank you. Goodbye!"

(laughter)

And, look, whether it's drive-throughs

or something else, America needs to figure out

how it's going to deal with this pandemic,

because it turns out not only is coronavirus here in the U.S.

Apparently, it's been here for a while.

NEWSMAN: Over the weekend, health officials announced

new infections in Washington state, Oregon,

California, Illinois, New York,

Florida and Rhode Island.

NEWSWOMAN: A state of emergency issued in Washington state,

where 13 patients have been diagnosed with COVID-19.

Researchers in Washington telling ABC News

their analysis of samples of the virus

strongly suggest it's been spreading in the state

for the past six weeks.

Yeah, that's right, people.

There's a chance coronavirus has been in America for weeks

and nobody realized it. Yeah.

It's like at the end of a sports movie

where the coach is like, "Guys, what you've been looking for

"has been right here all along.

"See, the virus is in your lungs.

"You shouldn't be playing basketball.

You should be at the hospital."

But this is really scary, and so for more

on this health crisis and America's response,

we turn to our senior medical correspondent

Roy Wood Jr., everybody.

(cheering and applause)

Roy.

I... I got to say, Roy,

this virus has everyone so stressed out.

I mean, I'm keeping this can of disinfectant around

to spray on everything.

What-what else can we do to stay safe?

Stop, stop. Stop with that.

First of all, Trevor, don't panic.

The most important thing to do is wash your hands.

Just wash your hands. And don't rush.

You got to wash them for at least the length

of one verse of a Cardi B song.

♪ Yeah, I wash the back, then wash the front ♪

♪ Girl, I make healthy moves. ♪

Yeah.

And another thing. Don't touch your face

'cause you can make yourself sick.

And if you are sick, remember to stay...

(coughing)

...stay at home.

(laughter and applause)

(Wood clearing throat)

What? Wh-What?

Did you just corona-cough in my face?

No.

Didn't cough in your face.

No, I just had some peanuts a minute ago.

They stuck in my throat.

(laughter)

Okay, I'm...

'Cause I'm-I'm watching you, Roy. Don't-don't make me sick.

I'm good, man.

Come on.

As I was saying, it's important not to panic.

Check on your elderly neighbors, make sure...

(coughs)

(laughter)

(coughing)

(laughter and applause)

(clears throat)

There's no need for concern.

What you need to...

(coughing)

-Ah, corona! Corona! Corona! -No! It's peanuts!

-It's peanuts! -Corona! Get out of here!

Roy Wood Jr., everybody.