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  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

  • WOW THANK YOU.

  • THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THANK YOU.

  • THAT'S RIGHT, I'M CHANCE THE RAPPER FILLING IN FOR JAMES

  • CORDEN WHO IS OFF ON HOLIDAY.

  • SO GRAB YOURSELF A CUPPA TEA AND A SCONE AND WE'RE GOING TO-- .

  • >> Reggie: YOU DON'T HAVE TO USE A BRITISH ACCENT.

  • >> OH, I JUST ADMIRE HIM SO MUCH, OKAY, THANK GOD, WHOA,

  • LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN.

  • I'M CHANCE THE RAPPER (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

  • BUT TONIGHT I'M NOT A RAPPER, I'M A HOST.

  • SO PLEASE ADDRESS ME AS HOST THE RAPPER.

  • (LAUGHTER) HONESTLY, IT IS SO GREAT TO BE

  • HERE TONIGHT WHEN JAMES ASKED ME TO COME OUT TO L.A. AND FILL IN

  • FOR HIM, I SAID I CAN'T WAIT.

  • NOT BECAUSE I WANTED TO HOST BUT BECAUSE IT'S DECEMBER AND I LIVE

  • IN CHICAGO.

  • SO I HAVE ONLY BEEN HERE FOR ABOUT A DAY BUT I ALREADY FEEL

  • LIKE I HAVE BEEN LEAVING A HUGE, LASTING IMPRESSION ON EVERYONE

  • HERE, ESPECIALLY MY PALS UP IN THE CONTROL ROOM.

  • YEAH.

  • YEAH.

  • YES.

  • (APPLAUSE) LOOKING GOOD, GUYS.

  • LOOKING GREAT.

  • ALL RIGHT.

  • SO THIS IS THE PART WHERE JAMES TELLS JOKES ABOUT THE NEWS.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> SO THESE ARE MY NEWS JOKES.

  • FIRST OFF, IF YOU THOUGHT YOUR COMMUTE TO WORK THIS MORNING WAS

  • BRUTAL, TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

  • THERE WAS A TRAFFIC JAM OUTSIDE OF PAFER IS THIS MORNING-- PARIS

  • THIS MORNING THAT WAS 391 MILES LONG.

  • YEAH.

  • THE TRAFFIC JAM WAS A RESULT OF THOUSANDS OF WORKERS ON STRIKE.

  • THE EMPLOYEES REFUSING TO SHOW UP TO WORK TODAY INCLUDED BUS

  • DRIVER, TRAIN CONDUCTORS, TAXI DRIVERS AND APPARENTLY JAMES

  • COVEREDEN.

  • -- CORDEN.

  • (LAUGHTER) A 391 MILE LONG TRAFFIC JAM.

  • I HAD NO IDEA PARIS EVEN HAD THE NEW POPEYE'S CHICKEN SANDWICH.

  • (LAUGHTER) RIGHT?

  • DRIVERS IN PARIS WERE UNDERSTANDABLY UPSET, NEEDLESS

  • TO SAY THERE WAS ALLOTS OF, PARDON MY FRENCHES.

  • ALL RIGHT.

  • IN OTHER NEWS, THE HALLMARK CHANNEL APOLOGIZED YESTERDAY

  • AFTER TAKING DOWN A COMMERCIAL THAT FEATURES TWO BRIDES

  • KISSING.

  • MOST OF THE HALLMARK CHANNEL VIEWERS WERE UNAWARE OF THE

  • CONTROVERSY BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO BUSY DRINKING WHITE WINE

  • WITH THEIR CATS.

  • IN THE APOLOGY HALLMARK SAID LOVE IS LOVE IN ALL ITS FORMS

  • WHETHER IT IS BETWEEN A MAN WITH BROWN HAIR AND A QUIRKY WOMAN

  • WHO OWNS A BAKERY OR, ACTUALLY, THAT'S IT.

  • (LAUGHTER) FINALLY, HERE'S A CRAZY STORY.

  • THIS IS COMING STRAIGHT OUT OF AUSTRALIA.

  • A COUPLE RETURNED HOME FROM WORK THE OTHER DAY AND WERE SHOCKED

  • BY WHAT THEY FOUND IN THEIR CHRISTMAS TREE.

  • A TEN FOOT LONG COILED UP PYTHON.

  • TAKE A LOOK.

  • YEAH.

  • EVEN WORSE, ONE OF THE GIFTS UNDER THE TREE WAS SUPPOSED TO

  • BE A NEW PUPPY.

  • A PYTHON ON A CHRISTMAS TREE OR AS SAMUEL L. JACKSON WOULD CALL

  • IT, SNAKES ON A PINE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

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