"The Big Bang Theory" is the most popular show on television.

It centers on four male friends who are characterized by essentially every Hollywood

stereotype about geeks and nerds in existence. "Alright, just a few more feet and...

Here we are gentlemen The Gates of Elzebub." "Good Lord!" "Don't panic. This is what the last 97 hours have been about."

Leonard, Sheldon, Howard, and Raj all lack most of the traits traditionally associated with leading men in Hollywood.

They're not conventionally handsome. They're not confident, and they're definitely not athletic.

What they are, are dorky insecure fanboys who are plagued with a wide variety of anxieties,

illnesses, and awkward personality quirks.

They also happen to be the perfect embodiment of a media trope which I call: The 'Adorkable' Misogynist.

'Adorkable' Misogynists are male characters, whose geeky version of masculinity is framed

as both comically pathetic and endearing.

"Wait, wait, what's on top of them?" "Wireless webcams! Wave hello!"

And it's their status as nerdy nice guys that then lets them off the hook for a wide range of creepy,

entitled and downright sexist behaviors.

"You may want to put on slacks"

"What? Ew. Stop it! No! Leave me alone."

Now, in order to help explain how this convention works we will need to take a quick trip back in time to the 1980s.

The year was 1984.

"Say 'Cheese!'" "Cheese!"

And one of the most popular summer movies was a film called "Revenge of the Nerds."

These weren't the first socially awkward nerds to grace the big screen,

but they did help popularize this type of character.

Over the next few years, this geeky guy archetype quickly gained traction in Hollywood.

And by the 1990s it had become something of a mainstay in comedy entertainment.

It's worth noting that this type of character is nearly always white—though there are a few rare exceptions.

"Caught ya sweetums!"

The Hollywood Nerd is almost always positioned in opposition to the expected norms of Macho Manhood.

This is usually accomplished through the juxtaposition with the jock archetype.

When contrasted with hyper masculine guys who perform a crude,

aggressive form of manhood, our geeky hero gets to be framed as the better,

smarter, more sensitive alternative.

He's the misunderstood nice guy.

"Hi Betty."

"I'm not kissing a nerd."

Who's unfairly bullied and mocked by his peers.

"Hey, not every guy's born with blonde hair and a chin you can crack walnuts with."

"To catch babes, I had to use my imagination."

He's presented as the clear underdog in the manhood competition.

"Is that another way of saying I'm out of this world?

Oh Lisa, I love the excitement of chasing ya."

(Screams)

"Is this a good time to ask you about the dance?"

On closer inspection, however, we start to notice that these type of characters are shown engaging in a variety of harassing,

entitled, and sexist behavior where women are concerned. They consistently stalk, spy on,

lie to, and try to manipulate the women in their lives.

They're overbearing. They refuse to take no for an answer and they often ignore the basic tenants of consent.

Most of this behavior falls under the rubric of sexual harassment,

and occasionally it escalates to the level of sexual assault.

Both "Revenge of the Nerds" and "Sixteen Candles"

include scenes in which geeky nice guys commit acts of rape.

This type of behavior should be understood as reprehensible.

I say "should be" because that's not how these TV shows and movies frame it.

Instead, this behavior is framed as kind of pathetic

but ultimately harmless

and even endearing in an 'adorkable' sort of way.

"You're that nerd."

"Yeah."

"God, you were wonderful."

"Thanks."

And it's the 'adorkable' part of the 'adorkable' misogynist that makes this trope so insidious.

So let's return to "The Big Bang Theory." "We have to get rid of the time machine."

The four geeky friends on this show are written to be genuinely likable guys.

They're even capable of fleeting moments of heartfelt sensitivity, thoughtfulness, and sweetness.

"What is it?"

"It's a snowflake from the North Pole."

"Are you serious?"

"It'll last forever. I preserved it in a 1% solution of polyvinyl acetyl resin."

This non-threatening, 'adorkable' framing is designed to excuse the other more toxic part of the trope.

The four leading men on "Big Bang Theory" each present their own distinct flavor of 'adorkable' misogyny.

Howard is the creepy pervert with a heart of gold.

"Come to Papa you unkosher delight!"

"I'm not necessarily talking to the food."

"Would you have opened the door if you knew it was me?"

"Not since I found out the teddy bear you gave me had a webcam in it."

Throughout the first several seasons, he's depicted as a wannabe pickup artist.

"Yes. We're here to fix the cable."

He stalks, harasses,

objectifies, and tries to trick dozens of women into sleeping with him.

Howard talks about women the way a zookeeper might talk about trapping and taming wild animals.

"See first we let the lawyers and the jocks thin the herd, and then... we go after the weak and the old and the lame"

He's conniving,

he's manipulative, and his behavior sometimes crosses the line into criminal activity.

"There's the house! I found America's Top Models!"

"Are you sure?"

"Look on the roof! Anaise and Giselle are sunbathing,

European-style!"

"You can recognize people on Google Earth?"

"Of course not. I got a buddy of mine at NORAD to have a spy drone fly over."

I should note that once Howard is in a committed long-term

relationship, the way that his male chauvinism is expressed does shift slightly.

So he stops trying to be a womanizer, but he still demands to be taken care of.

And he refuses to share in any of the domestic responsibilities.

"Wanna pause the video game and help me clean up?"

"I am cleaning up. Look at the mess the Joker made of Gotham City!"

"I want this to feel like my house too."

"Oh, honey. Of course it's your house. Why else would you be cleaning it all the time?"

Raj is the sensitive guy turned inappropriate drunk.

He's the show's token geek of color and is endlessly mocked for being the most effeminate of the four friends.

"I'm sorry, what was your name again?"

Raj is also the most socially awkward around women. In the first few seasons, he can't speak to women at all.

"That's just fascinating!" "Thank you."

Except when he's drunk or on drugs.

"Would you like to hear more about it in my hot tub?"

And it's in those uninhibited moments when we see some very extreme levels of

underlying misogyny come to the forefront.

"I'm very comfortable here."

"Penny dear—why don't you shoot another Silver bullet my way?"

"Where are you going? We're doing so well... She never even got to see my penis!"

"Tada!"

Leonard is the nice guy enabler. He plays the more down-to-earth, "normal" one of the group.

Still, he participates in much of the same behavior as his cohorts, just to a lesser degree.

Leonard's character arc is basically the pathetic nice guy who refuses to take no for an answer,

and who eventually gets the girl.

"How did you get her to go out with you?"

"Well, she moved in across the hall."

"He started to slowly wear me down."

"Like a river carves a canyon."

One of the roles that Leonard plays on the show is as the guy who excuses and enables the sexism of his male friends.

"You know that deep down inside Howard's a really nice guy."

"Cut the crap, you set this up, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"She's a hooker, isn't she?"

"A prostitute, yes."

"You already gave her the money?"

"Yes."

"Thank you!"

He might roll his eyes at his friends' antics, but he never seriously challenges their behavior.

"But I'd like to get lost in her Bermuda Triangle."

"That's not helpful."

"Then I won't say I'd like to cover three quarters of her surface area."

"Are we done?"

And his mild protests work as a springboard for still more sexist jokes.

"Not yet. This is fun! Ooh, I know! I'd let her free my willy!"

Sheldon, is the innocent bigot.

Most of the guys display a general disdain for icky girl stuff,

but Sheldon is the one who harbors the most virulent form of casual misogyny.

"Tonight's theme: flags of countries that have been torn apart and the women I have a feeling were responsible."

"My father used to say that a woman is like an egg salad sandwich on a warm, Texas day."

"What?"

"Full of eggs and only appealing for a short time."

The whole shtick of Sheldon's character is that he's too smart to understand or care to understand

what's socially appropriate and what's not. As such, he's dismissive of nearly everyone and their feelings.

But when he belittles and devalues women,

it's very specifically because they are women.

"Thanks to you, I know better than to ask if you're menstruating."

"And based on your behavior, I don't have to."

"All you hear women say is 'I'll just have a salad.'

"'Where's my lipgloss? I think this element should be called radium.'

"That last one was Madame Curie. You know what, she was kind of an honorary man. She had a penis made of science."

So how does "The Big Bang Theory" keep us, as the audience, sympathetic to men who behave in such reprehensible ways?

Well, it's done by leaning heavily on a combination of ironic humor and a popular writer's trick known as lamp shading.

Most of the jokes on "The Big Bang Theory," such as they are, revolve around the following ironic hook:

Since geeky guys don't fit into the macho mold of what we expect sexism or male entitlement to look like,

it's funny to watch them engaging in that type of behavior.

"It's 'anything-can-happen-Thursday, let's hit the clubs and meet hot women!"

"Here we go! Lock up your daughters. We're gonna hit it and quit it!"

Notice the target of the joke is not the misogynist behavior.

"Or... we could finish eating and go to the comic book store."

"Also a good plan."

Instead, it's making fun of men who are not traditionally masculine enough to believably pull it off.

"Smell that? That's the smell of new comic books."

Unlike many of our earlier examples from the 1980s, the creepy behavior on "The Big Bang Theory" is

meant to be understood for what it is.

"I know you think you're some sort of smooth-talking ladies man,

but the truth is you are just pathetic and creepy."

And this is where ironic lamp-shading comes in.

"So, what are you saying?"

Which is when media makers deliberately call attention to a dissonant or overly clichéd aspect of their own production.

Rather than writing better different punchlines,

writers attempt to duck any potential criticism by pointing out the sexism inherent in their own jokes themselves.

"That's it. Confirmed. We now have the address of the Top Model house."

"Hey, for the record, what you guys are doing is really creepy."

"You know what, if it's creepy to use the internet military satellites and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models

so that I can drop in on them unexpectedly, then fine, I'm creepy."

This technique of making something super obvious to viewers is meant to let us know that the writers are self-aware

and to make us feel like we're all in on the joke.

Most comedy writers know that retrograde style bigotry is no longer acceptable on prime-time television.

But many of them still want to use sexist, racist, and homophobic jokes as an easy way to get cheap laughs.

"Actually, Indian Monopoly is just like regular accept the money's in rupees instead of hotels you build call centers

and, when you pick a chance card you might die of dysentery."

Ironic lamp-shading provides a clever way for them to keep getting away with it.

"Just FYI, that was racist."

Now the problem with this comedic device is that by itself—

"Hey! Why am I in charge your phone support? Seems a bit racist."

it doesn't critique or challenge sexism, homophobia, or racism.

It simply acknowledges it in a humorous way.

"Very clever, but still racist."

"Duly noted, Steve from Wichita."

Acknowledging bigotry is not the same thing as critiquing bigotry,

especially when the punch lines end up making light of serious social issues like sexual harassment.

"Dr. Cooper, you said things to your employee that you just cannot say in the workplace."

"Oh, I see the confusion here.

No, no, Alex thought I was singling her out. No, I meant that all women are slaves to their biological urges,

you know? Even you."

So while it's true the message of "The Big Bang Theory" isn't, "sexism is super cool."

"Relax, no one's gonna be looking at her hair."

I'd argue the implications are much more troubling.

Because the show's message is more akin to "sexism is mostly harmless."

And especially when that sexism is coming from geeky guys.