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  • -Welcome to "Battle of the Instant Songwriters."

  • Before the show, we went through our audience

  • and picked out two people who said they were musicians.

  • We gave them each a made-up song title

  • and gave them an hour to write an original song

  • based on that title.

  • Here's a shot of them practicing backstage a minute ago.

  • I can't wait to see what they've come up with,

  • so let's meet them right now. Come on over, guys!

  • [ Cheers and applause ] Hey. Good to see you.

  • Thank you for being here. Thank you.

  • Nice to see you. Thank you for being here.

  • Welcome. Let's start with contestant number one.

  • What is your name, and where are you from?

  • -I'm Emma Jayne.

  • I'm from Chicago, and now I live in New York.

  • -Hey, welcome. Welcome to New York.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Emma Jayne, what is the title of the song you were given?

  • -"Banned from Panera." -Ooh, that's right.

  • "Banned from Panera."

  • And what instrument will you be playing?

  • -Ukulele. -Ooh, beautiful.

  • All right, well, head on over there

  • and get yourself set up right there.

  • And get ready, get in the mind-set.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • And now, ladies and gentlemen,

  • here to perform the world premiere

  • of the soon-to-be-classic "Banned from Panera,"

  • it's Emma Jayne!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • ♪♪

  • -♪ I'm sorry

  • Not sorry

  • ♪ I filled my water cup with Mountain Dew

  • ♪♪

  • The bathroom said customers only

  • But I gave the code to anyone who might need it

  • ♪ I asked for a salad, soup, and sandwich

  • You said, "Ma'am, the menu says pick two" ♪

  • ♪ I picked three

  • You called the manager, it's true

  • That got me banned from Panera

  • ♪ I don't care

  • ♪ I stand by what I said

  • So if you want fast casual sandwiches

  • We'll have to do Subway instead

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • ♪♪

  • -Fantastic!

  • Well done! Emma Jayne!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Hey, not bad. -Thank you.

  • -Emma Jayne, that was incredible.

  • I loved it. Wow.

  • All right, let's meet contestant number two.

  • What is your name, and where are you from?

  • -I'm Dan Orlando, from West Grove, Pennsylvania.

  • -Hey, I love -- Dan Orlando? -Yes, sir.

  • -That's a great name. -That's my real name.

  • -Dan Orlando? -Yeah.

  • -Sounds like a Jim Carrey movie. I love Dan Orlando.

  • Dan Orlando's a great name. -Thank you.

  • -All right, now tell everyone what your song title is.

  • -My song title is "My Uncle's on TikTok."

  • -Ooh. That's unfortunate, yeah.

  • That's terrible. "My Uncle's on TikTok."

  • And what instrument will you be playing?

  • -I'm gonna play the piano. -All right, go for it, buddy.

  • Go get set. Get in the mind-space.

  • Get on the stool, get in the zone.

  • Channel the inspiration.

  • And now, ladies and gentlemen,

  • get ready for the world premiere

  • of "My Uncle's on TikTok," by Dan Orlando!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • ♪♪

  • -♪ My uncle's on TikTok

  • He lip-syncs to yacht rock

  • He's trying to get back with his ex

  • ♪♪

  • His dance moves are scary

  • He's shirtless and hairy

  • He posts all his vids

  • From a Motel 6 ♪

  • ♪♪

  • My uncle's on TikTok

  • But we liked it better

  • When his only device

  • Was a grandfather clock

  • He just got reported

  • For singing Def Leppard

  • In nothing but a wig

  • And his business socks

  • ♪♪

  • My uncle's on TikTok

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -Beautiful!

  • Powerful. Get over here.

  • Oh, beautiful.

  • Fantastic. That was great.

  • -Thank you. -Very, very talented.

  • Give it up for Dan Orlando once again.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Now it is time to see who won,

  • so we're gonna let our great audience decide the winner.

  • [ Drumroll ]

  • Was it Emma Jayne?

  • [ Enthusiastic cheers and applause ]

  • Or was it Dan Orlando?

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Looks like the winner is...

  • Emma Jayne is the winner!

  • -Whoo! Thank you! -Congratulations.

  • Emma Jayne, congrats. Now normally,

  • we usually give away $1,000, but since it's 2020...

  • [ Drumroll ]

  • ...the winner is going home with $1,020.20.

  • ♪♪

  • And, of course, a "Tonight Show" notebook for writing more songs.

  • -Oh, thank you very much. -Please, you're fantastic.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Now, Dan, no one goes home empty-handed.

  • Our other contestant will get a "Tonight Show" notebook.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • And $1,020.20! -Yeah!

  • ♪♪

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -Come on, buddy. Congratulations.

  • That was great, guys. -Thank you so much.

  • -Give it up for your two new instant songwriters!

-Welcome to "Battle of the Instant Songwriters."

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