Thethingsthat I feltthatkindofheldmebackand I hadtopushthroughmyfearsthat I facedbecauseoneofthethingsthat I alwaysencounteredinmylifeispeopletellingme, Lydia, you'reyou'retoodrivenyou'reyou'retoofocusedonyourcareerondhe.
I havesuchanamazinglifethat I'vebuiltformyselfonDDE.
Beingdrivenistheonethingthatgotmethere.
Buttherewerethingsthat I wasn't reallyverygoodatalongtheway.
Sopublicspeaking, beingoneofthem, and I foundmyselfwithsomanyopportunitiesinitsjobtodopanelsandconnectwithpeopleandgivetalksatmymeetupsondhe, I reallyhadtogrowmyconfidenceinthatarea, andnow I actuallykindoftakeinmystride.
Today's panelisoutofmycomfortzone.
Usually I goandspeakaboutbloggingonwhat I doinmycareer, buttodayisallaboutfemaleempowerment, soit's definitelygonnabe a newspinonhow I dopublicspeaking.
But I'm really, reallylookingforwardtoit, but I alwaysthinkthatsocialmediamakesthisjoblooklikeit's just a walkintheparkandyouneverreallyseethethingsthatgoonbehindthescenes.
So I'm gonnatryinthisbloctogiveyouasmuchofaninsightintoallofthethingsthat I'vehadtolearnalongthewayinordertobeabletodo.
Thisismyjobbecauseit's somuchmorethanjusttakingprettypicturesonwalkingaroundwith a camera.
It's notoneofthosecareerswhere I'm savinglivesor, youknow, I'm not a doctororanything, butit's anamazingjobthat I feellike a lotofpeopledon't knowabout.
Andpeopledon't knowaboutthethingsthat I'vehad.
Thiolearnedtodothefears.
Ohmygosh, weallknowaboutmyflyingfear.
I flysomuchforworkand I reallyhadThiokindoflearntodealwiththatandovercomeitsothat I cancontinuetodothisjobatthelevelthat I doit.
Thenhopefully I canshowyou a littlebitmoreaboutThisisjustbasicallyabouthow I faceanythinginmycareer, which I justthinkissuch a greatlittlewaytogivecontext.
Doyou?
Seeing a littlebitmoreofwhatgoesonbehindthescenesonhow I'vegottowhere I amtodayisquitepositivething.
So, yeah, I'm gonnaquicklyshowyoumyoutfits.
I knowmytaxiisonthewayand I'm offtomeetmybestfriend, Carrie.
You'realreadyknowwe'reheadingdowntoLondonforthedayfor a panelwiththeSundayTimesstyleonDheCarolinaHerrera, whois a really, really, reallyfamousdesigneron.
Theweatherisabsolutelychanging, but I'm justlikecatchingupwithyouaftertheeventtheotherdayandjustkindofhave a debrief.
Really.
I hadsuch a greatday, anditwassoamazingtospeakwithsomanyamazingwomenonjustbeapart, somethingthat's justsopositiveonconversationsthataresortofchangingthefaceandthelandscapeforwomeneverywhere.
I reallyitwassuch a pleasuretogettoknowallofthemandyeah, it's a goodday, butdidjustmakemerealize, like, obviously, when I'm talkingaboutovercomingthings, I'm definitelynottalkingabout, like, overcominghardtimes.
Andobviouslythat's a completelydifferentthing.
I'm orcuptalkingaboutovercomingthethingsthat I couldveryeasilyletitholdmebackineverydaylifeandinmycareeronholdmebackfromthethingsthey'rereallygonnapropelmeforwardondheKeepmemovingtowardsmygoal.
Sohonestly, I thinkbacklike a fewyearsago, and I thinktothetimeswhen I wouldsaynototripsandnotgoingawayonpresstripsbecause I wassoscaredofflyingonDDEwhere I wouldbenow I wouldn't havebeentosomeofthemostamazingplacesintheworld, but I wouldn't haveexperiencedandmetsomeofthemostamazingpeopleintheworldonDDE.
Thatisjustlikethethoughtofthatissomethingthat I can't evencomprehend.
I justcouldn't evenimagineit.
Andthenobviouslybeingabletonowgetuponstageondhe, talkaboutsubjectsthataffectmeon a dailybasisthataffectmypeersthataffectthechangesthatarehappeningintheworld.
It's really, reallysomethingtobeabletobe a partofthose.
Andif I haditmyway, I probablywouldhaveletmyselfbeheldbackbymyfearofstandingupandspeakinginfrontofpeople.
Myfearoflookingstupidornotlookingperfect.
Andi, allofthosefearsthatkindofveryeasilyondhe.
Sometimesyou'renotevenawarethatthey'retakingover.
I'm makingyousaynotothingsthatyouwouldnormallysayyesterday, andthatissomethingthatjustblowsmymindthat I couldhaveeasilyletthathappenonDhe.
I couldnothavedonethatthen, and I couldhavenotbeenapartsuch a positivepanelonDheyet.
I didn't I didn't letithelpmebackonDDE.
I facethosefearsandeverytimeitcomebecomes a littlebiteasieronDhe.
I'm reallyproudofmyself, reallyproudofmyself.
No, I'm notmovingmountainsintermsofotherpeople's livesontheworld's withthesesubjects I'm talkingtoyouabout, but I ammakingwavesinmyownworldonmakingpositivechangesinmyownworldonthatisreally, reallyimportanttome, Rooney.
Importanttome, evenjustlookingbackatthefootageofmewhilst I wasdoingthephotoshootswithCalandKyleGalvinand I lookattheconfidencethat I waslikeputtingforwardinthosephotoshootsand I thinkbacktowhen I startedmyblockondhe.
I didn't haveanyofthat.
I hadnoconfidenceondhe.
It's almostlikeespeciallywomenare, like, programmedthatifyouwanttoposein a photographorifyouwantto, youknow, putyourbestfootforward, yourvainoryourselfabsorbedoryourshalloworyoublacksubstancejustbecauseyouwanttolookgoodinthepicture.
And I almostfeellikethisgenerationofbloggersandnewtubersandcreatorsthatareputtingthemselvesinfrontofthecameraonDDE, talkingaboutmakeupandtalkingaboutlookinggoodandfeelinggood.
Andallofthosethingsarehopefullychangingthatbecauseit's becoming a lotmorenormalonsomethingthatwe'reseeingveryoftenjustonthestreets.
Whenyou'rewalkingaround, youseegirls, evenifthey'renotbloggers, theirfriends, a download, takingtheirpicturesoncelebratingthem, wantingtolooktheirbestonget a picturewheretheylookgreatandcelebratingthat.
Because I stillgetitnow, eventhough I'vebeendoingthisismyjobforhowevermanyyearsthatwillstillbepeoplethatwillpassmeorthatlookatmethatmakecommentsthatalongwithshe's sofullofherselfonAll I'm doingisposingfor a pictureondhe.
I stillpuffoutmychestandtakeitonthechin, and I don't letthatpersonorthosepeopleruinmyconfidence, becauseif I did, I wouldletthefearoflookingstupidandfeelingstupid.
Holdmebackon.
ThatiswhyfacinganythingonDDEnotlettingmyselfonmyownfearsholdmyselfbackissomething I'm sogratefulthat I embracedmoreoff, andeventhoughitmighthavebeenloveitslowinplaceslike I mighthaveneededtotake a littlebitmoretime.
Likewithflyingandstuff, I stillwasabletopushthroughonDDE, allowmyselftostillexperiencethingsandnotmissoutjustbecause I wasfrightenedorworriedorfeltlike I wasn't goodenough.
Yeah, justItwasreallyitwasquiteproudmoment, mediainthatpanel, I reallyenjoyeditand I feltlikewatchingoneofthefootageback.
I wasthatGod, we'vecomesuch a longwaysuch a longwayandmaybethatcomesdowntothefactthat I'm toodriven.
Somanypeoplehavesaidinmylife, but I don't thinkthatthat's a negativethingonwantingThiobesuccessfulandhave a careeronDDE.
Beyourownkindofcheerleaderisis a goodthing.
I thinkthatthat's a goodthingon.
It's probably a partofmypersonalitythat I'm notascomfortablecelebratingthat I amthatkindofpersonthatwantstodowell.
I dowanttobesuccessful.
I dowanttomake a nameformyselfinwhatevercareerthatis.
I choose.
Evenif I wasworkingin a supermarket, I wouldwanttobethebestatthatjobs I couldpossiblybeonthatappliesinthisjob.
Andletmeismoaningatme.
What, youwannagointerruptingmyflowofbeing a positivepandaNiwinky?
No.
Anyway, sheisalwaysinterruptingme.
There's alwaysonelittleMalvointhebackgroundgoing a gamehere.
But I guesswhat I'm tryingtosayis, don't letyourselfbetheonethingthatholdsyouback.
Soyeah, I haveenjoyedthisvideoandstillpeptalkaswell.
Thisisveryunlikemein a vlog, usuallyofmejustmakingfunofmyself.
Butthisissuch a nicecampaigntobe a partof, andwassuch a greatmessagethat I feelreallyluckytohavebeenapartment.
So I hopeyou'veenjoyedit.
Andi, I hopeyouhaveenjoyedseeingmestep a littlebitoutofmycomfortzoneaswell, because I amthoroughlyenjoyingspeakinginpublic a lotmoreonDDEduringoneofthethingsthat I thought I neverwouldbasically.
So, yeah, ifyoulikethisvideo, pleasedoyouhitthesubscribebuttondownbelow?
I wouldlovetohaveyoubackformorevideos.
Itissoamazingtohavesomanyofyouhereondhe.
Itmeans a lottomethatyoucomebacktowatchondef.
Youdid.
Obviouslylikethisparticulartypeofvideo.
Pleasedogiveit a thumbsupaswell.
Because I enjoyedmakingit.
Goodmorning, everyone.
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