C: I thought we should liven things up a bit.

Give me a B

Give me an O

Give me an N

Give me an O

What is that?

All: Bono!!

C: Couldn't hear you!

All: Bono C: Yes!

Our next guest loves Bono. She has been the host for "Lørdagsrådet" (Advice on Saturday ) on P3 radio,

and now she has brought that show to the TV-screen, at NRK3.

Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause for Siri Kristiansen!

B: Welcome! S: Thank you!

B: Lovely match with that peacock jewelry and your eyeshadow.

S: Thank you so much. I wish I could take the honor for this myself, but I have to thank the costume department at NRK-TV.

B: Oh, so someone dressed you... V: At NRK?! S: The NRK costume department

V: So you get costumes? S: Yes V: We don`t get that

S: But it's called costume even if you dress nicely.

B: Yes, because that can sound a little bit brutal. S: Yes

B: Put on your costume and come to a party...?

S: I think it sounds a bit Polish. B: Sounds a bit Polish.

B: Welcome, very nice that you're here, and it's great that you're going to talk about this show, which I`m a huge fan of.

The radio show was called "Lørdagsrådet" (Advice on Saturday) on P3 radio, and now it has become "Rådet" (Advice).

B: When does it start?

S: It starts Thursday the 31st at 10:20 pm.

B: The show is about solving other people's problems, as far as I understand. What is your expertise?

S: I am good at solving other peoples problems at parties. I don't dance, so I always talk to the saddest person there.

B: Yes S: So it`s a lot of boring partying, but it gave me a job that is quite fun.

B: Has this been a choice so you can raise your expertise? Where you have thought: I`m going to get some education?

S: No, I think this says something about how bad I am at dancing.

If I could choose, I have chosen to sit down. And then the ones that are crying come over to me, put their head on my shoulder, and I have to give advice. And that`s how I became good at this.

B: So what is your education? S: I am a furniture carpenter... B: You`re a furniture carpenter?

V: Sounds like it`s the funny Siri who has come out, but is this true?

S: No, no... I'm a furniture carpenter and I'm a production manager for things like this, so I could have run this show.

B: So you think you could have done it better? S: Certainly not. Maybe it would have been the same.

B: But maybe it was you who made this desk? S: I would have put it slightly more obliquely.

B: More obliquely? V: We can do that B: Like this...special, special.

S: And then I have a few months expertise as a dolphin trainer, and that is what I use most.

V: Is this funny Siri that has visited us again, or is it the real Siri?

S: My task was... I was a personal trainer for dolphins, because they were a part of some research.

B: Can`t we just make a compromise here, that everything you say from now on will not be a joke?

S: But it`s not a joke. B: Let`s be serious.

S: Yes. It was a research studio with four dolphins and my task was to entertain them between the research tests so they didn`t get bored.

I had 600 signs I could use as a combination or separately just to keep them going, so they wouldn`t sink to the bottom and just...

B: Can you show us some of the signs?

S: My favourite sign was, and this shows how smart dolphins are, I could tell one dolphin...

B: Who was called?

S: Elele. B: Elele. S: That means "first born" in Hawaiian.

S: I could say "Do whatever you like", which is this sign. "But do it with..."

and point at another dolphin. Then this dolphin would dive, find the second dolphin, they would agree on what to do, and then they would do a synchronized jump and do the same thing.

V: No!! S: So they had sent signals from under their chins, brought it into their brains and agreed on what to do.

B: In "Lørdagsrådet" you have guest advisers, so to speak, and we saw a sample of a very open guest adviser. Let`s have a look.

S: "I have been to the gynecologist a couple of times in recent years. Should I do a complete overhaul before my appointment, or will that seem strange? I shower first of course. Sincerely, Marianne".

Tone Damli Aaberge: I usually do an overhaul two days before, so it looks like I really don`t care, but I care.

B: The funniest part is the eyes of ...

B: Tore Sagen that go... V: Jesus Christ

S: I think a lot of guys will roll their eyes over this.

B: A two day old overhaul, that`s fresh.

S: That`s some of the best advice I`ve ever heard. I haven`t thought of it, but it`s a lovely mix of pretentious, smart and everything.

B: Yes S: So we need an advisor.

B: But, okay. So, is everyone as open as Damli is here? Will we see a lot of exciting reveals?

S: It will be some strange things, but Tone is extra fresh. She is a loose canon that unfortunately is in a network of media advisers that tell her to stop revealing everything about herself.

She is really Sigrid Bonde Tusvik (Norwegian comedian) caught in a "mystery body".

B: So this was kind of a miss in the media-project?

S: Yes, because she wants this so much, she really wants to flash her ass on television.

But she has David Eriksen (Tone Damli`s manager) in her ear saying "No, no, no..."

B: But you have a rather fresh language, yourself. We have been touring together. You are from Bjølsen where it`s quite rough.

S: It`s a rough environment there. Yes, absolutely.

B: And I went to school with David Toska (Norwegian bank robber).

S: Yes, I went to school with David Toska, but two classes below him, so I just looked up to him.

B: How was Toska at school? S: He was hot.

B: He was hot? V: Was he?

S: He was very, very handsome and he was kind of smart. But we didn't recognize that, because he seemed dumb.

He was often on his own at the bus-stop waiting for bus No. 37 or No. 20 and he was dancing, "hyping" a lot.

B: He was "hyping"? S: That`s a step in hip-hop. Just Google it if you want to.

B: But that`s a funny image of David Toska standing there doing hip-hop.

S: He was the leader of a dance group called the "Bjølsen trotters" and he practiced a lot. I was a member, and after that I gave up dancing.

But he was very handsome, and everyone was in love with him, actually. I was very much in love with David Toska.

B: You were in love with David Toska?

S: Because he was so mysterious, smart and not smart at the same time, and he had a very funny smile. A pig-like smile.

B: I think this can pass. V: Is this a Mona Lisa moment?

S: He often... He liked girls a lot, so he grunted a lot towards girls and smiled,

and while he smiled he blew out of his nose and scrunched and centered his face downwards. But we liked it.

B: I love all the details in this interview. V: Was he a criminal at that time too?

S: Not more than the rest of us, but he was the guy behind distributing the "bootleg" at Bjølsen, so I can thank him for my opportunity to taste alcohol when I was very young.

V: So you were a part of this too?

S: I bought a bottle of Whiskey from him before a camping trip the summer before 9th grade.

B: You're the hostess of "Rådet" where you solve problems with other celebrities and we thought we should do the same here.

V: You have a panel, not a ponel, but a panel, right? So we need a panel too.

B: Yes, and I thought we should bring in Norway's 34th and 35th best comedians.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome Magnus Devold and Carl Fredrik Hellevang Larsen!

B: Now we have seen the clip...

V: Magnus-Siri, Siri-Magnus, Calle-Siri, Siri-Calle...

B: We have seen the clip, but we thought before we saw it that you might have some costumes on, so we also got costumes so we should be more advisor-like. I feel now that this was a big mistake.

V: No, I don`t. S: You look a bit like Christian Borch if you pull these backwards.

V: Or Georg from Hotel Cæsar.

B: But it is... V: "Odd Karstein Tveit, Riad."

B: And I have this mallet, and I`m going to hit the table with it when we have made a decision.

Okay, now it`s like this. You have, on your own cards, a real question asked by one of your listeners.

S: Yes B: A dilemma that has been sent to "Rådet" that hasn't been used there, but one that we want to use.

B: We haven`t heard the question before. Fire away!

S: "Hello "Rådet"! I`m a boy who`s about to move in to a collective. I usually pee in the shower. Do I have to stop doing that now?"

C: Not many laughed at that. M: You could have a toilet in the shower.

S: But a shower is a toilet. You have a drain and water and...

B: I think this is interesting because... C: But do you really want to step in other people's urine?

B: But do you do that? V: But you pee in the beginning of a shower, don`t you?

C: But you can wait until you`re finished and then pee.

V: Now I have rinsed out the conditioner and finished my shower, it`s about time to take a pee.

S: When you get hot water on your body it does something with your bladder that makes you want to pee. It`s the same when you`re in a swimming pool.

I wonder if something happens to your body and you want to pee in contact with water.

B: I think the interesting thing is... C: The sound of water.

B: If you talk about chemistry and hygiene it wont be a problem when we think about all the slag and dirt that is everywhere.

C: No, this is just a social... S: Do any of you pee in the shower?

V: I have done it. C: I have too. M: I might have.

M: I might have had an accident... B: The girl in the VIP seat points at the other girl. Is it true?

C: Girls who pee in the shower are... V: Do you pee in the shower, for real?

VIP-girl 1: I apologize to my room-mates but... VIP-girl 2: I just found this out.

C: But there`s a big difference between boy and girl pee...

M: Do girls pee? B: Yes, they do S: A lot

V: I think it`s more common in Sweden to pee in the shower, they can`t afford a toilet.

B: But now we need to come to a conclusion, and my thoughts are: Is it okay to lay down on your stomach and put your penis down the drain. Is it okay then?

B: If you don't pee on the tiles. M: Sounds better to me.

S: I think it sounds more creepy. M: You can use an old, empty shampoo-bottle.

Just pee into that.

Then the tiles go free and it wont be creepy for other people. And then you bring, because you do this to save time, maybe in the morning...

S: Yes? M: And then you can pour the pee in the toilet, put the bottle back and use it the next time.

B: That`s good advice from Magnus.

Okay, do you usually come to a conclusion in your show?

S: Yes, we do that and give the answer directly to the person with the question.

C: Do we have a conclusion? B: Can you give us the answer?

S: I think, of course, that everything you've said was nonsense, so my conclusion is: Pee as much as you like in the shower to save the environment.

V: Shall we use the mallet?

B: I think we should finish this now...

V: Without a conclusion? B:...and conclude that it`s fun, but it`s probably funnier when you do it as a professional.

S: Yes B: Ladies and gentlemen, give a big hand for Siri Kristiansen!

B: It`s not only Siri Kristiansen that gets questions, because we do too at ylvis@tvnorge.no and this week we got a fun question.

B: "Hello Bård , Vegard and Calle! What do you do when you don`t make TV-shows? Do you sometimes have a vacation? Greetings from Jeppe".

V: And I think we should talk about that because each time we finish a season, like now, in a couple of weeks, we all go to the same place every year.

C: The three of us travel together, it`s a tradition.

B: It`s to get more energy of course, and there are a lot of places to travel. We have found a place we love.

V: Our home away from home.

C: Our second home, or my first home

B: But we thought: It`s hard to explain what`s so fantastic about this place. So we have made a postcard, and here it is.