And sorry if my voice is kind of gross right now, I'm still sick.

Today.

I was planning on filming a Q and A, which I'm still playing on filming.

So thank you all for sending in your questions on my instagram.

But this morning, while I was laying in bed, I was scrolling through my YouTube subscriptions as one does a productive morning activity, and I inevitably started watching one of those, like how to stay fit and motivated and 2018 videos.

And it reminded me that since the New Year is coming up or already has passed depending on when I post this video, that social media is about to just, like fucking explode with all of these, like fitness messages, some of which are really motivating.

If this is for you in 2018 then good for you.

But I feel like especially in the age of social media and like Instagram models are finished.

Culture can get a little bit obsessive, and countries make you feel bad about yourself.

As someone who last year struggled with a lot of body image issues and a lot of just a bad relationship with food and fitness in general.

And as someone who has seen eating disorders affect some people who are really close to me, I thought I would be remiss if I didn't take a video kind of addressing how to keep, like, a healthy months that amidst all this fitness culture, I don't have a title for this video yet.

But hopefully it's not like super quick, baby.

That's not my intent.

It all.

I just wanted to sit down and chat with you guys.

I feel like there are a lot of things that you can say about, like keeping a healthy mind set and staying confident.

Make a lot of sense when you say them out loud, but are really hard to internalize as, like the person who is watching this video or like me last year.

So I thought I would just kind of talk about my personal journey my entire life and including all of high school.

I think I had like, a really healthy attitude towards food, thanks to my mama.

For that can I had, like, the most badass kid metabolism ever, So I would just like whatever the hell I wanted.

Candy and I like the body for the way Waas.

I was always just like, naturally, a pretty skinny kid.

I never really thought about it, especially growing up in suburban Maryland like they're not a huge, like health and fitness craze.

Anyway, nobody really talks about, like, working out or dieting and stuff like that.

So, yeah, it was like a really pretty waiting for a while.

But enter a freshman year of college and a lot of that changed.

First of all, my metabolism, just like hit a fucking brick wall and my lady metabolism kicked in, which is much, much slower.

Second?

Well, yes, L.

A has Bowman's dining hall food, and I definitely gained the freshman 15 and third of all, I was now living in a way surrounded by, like the offspring of actresses and models who are all beautiful and super like fitness oriented.

I know, like the most basic body image advice is not to compare yourself to others, and I heard that it so many times, but I didn't fucking listen to it.

But well, I feel like you could throw around this advice like all you want, but it's actually pretty hard to internalize.

So you've been through the whole shit hole in back.

So, yeah, I was a lot heavier than I have been for my entire life, and I really beat myself up for it.

I think in combination with the fact that I was kind of artistically unfulfilled, I didn't like my classes.

I didn't have any close friends yet.

I was living 3000 miles away from home, having just the fact that I was unhappy in general all just piled on and manifested itself even more into me just hating my body.

And I started working out for the first time, which a lot of people are like, Oh, good for you, like you finally went to the gym.

But in my opinion, it was actually something really unhealthy because it came from a really bad mindset.

Basically, I was just, like, punishing myself for eating too much.

I would watch the calorie count on how many calories I burned on the treadmill and, you know, compare that how much I had eight.

And basically, between eating a lot and planning all my meals on and working out like thinking about my body so much, I was just taking over my wife, and it wasn't making me happy.

It was just like the most massive waste of time and my own energy.

And as a human being, I have so much more to offer to the world than just how my body looks Ultimately in terms of fitness, Really.

The best thing for me was to just be happy and to keep busy, like now, doing my YouTube channel making videos for you guys every week.

Excuse me, really busy, entertained and happy feeling like I'm doing something hopefully kind of useful in combination with just having, like, closer friends and really liking my classes this year and stuff.

Yeah, I don't really think about like food or fitness.

Very often.

I just eat whenever I'm hungry and stuff.

I know I'm super lucky to say that because of genetics.

Basically, if I just don't think about it too much, my body will do this thing.

Sorry, this has been kind of rambling, but I hope if there's any takeaway from this, it's that your self worth it should never be determined by how your body looks.

I know that sounds obvious, but social media and like fitness messages, can really fuck with you.

I think there's a fine line between saying that working out and eating healthy can make you happier versus saying that you could only be happy if you eat healthy and work out.

So, yeah, if you are embarking on a fitness journey, best of luck.

But keep your minds healthy.

If you ever start to feel like food or fitness, where your body image is really taking over your life, Um, I'm gonna link an eating disorder hotline or chat room or something down there.

And also, I know a lot of you guys are on college campuses right now.

A lot of those have free counseling.

Service is so please don't feel afraid to go to one of those.

I never did, even though I definitely could have benefited from it last year.

Yeah, it doesn't mean that you're, like, insane or anything, but just it's a strong thing, too.

Seek out somebody to talk to.

So that that is all the rambling I have for you guys today.

Thank you so much for watching.