you know why you are here!

do you understand the consequences?

[muffled protesting, screech of fearsome swine]

who are you?

I have a delivery

delivery of what??

justice

[laughter]

[chicken cluck]

sorry, old man

but I'm afraid now you've seen too much

ha! it is you who will soon wish to unsee this moment

[ancient yodel of of reckoning

now begins the fight of a lifetime

we can end it all and end it right

two warriors challenge you

they came ready to fight

oh, chicken and a pig

bacon and eggs

they're not here to play

chicken and a pig, bacon and eggs

you're on their plate today

six legs! two wings!

and one ass-whooping

COCK ON A SWINE

(cock on a swine)

FRIENDS FOR ALL TIME

(for all time)

SWINE WITH A COCK

(swine with a cock)

THEY CAN NEVER BE STOPPED

there is no escape

from justice

nowhere to hide

from your fate

you may want forgiveness

I'd say yes but for them it's too late

oh, chicken and a pig

bacon and eggs

they're not here to play

chicken and a pig, bacon and eggs

you're on their plate today

six legs! two wings!

and one ass-whooping!

COCK ON A SWIIIIIIIIIINE

(cock on a swine)

FRIENDS FOR ALL TIIIIIIIIME

(for all time)

SWINE WITH A CAHHHHHHHCK

(swine with a cock)

THEY CAN NEVER BE STAHHHHHPPED

they look so cute and cuddly

you might expect a kiss

but if you're on their bad side

you'll only get

their iron fists

[distant drums of reckoning]

your path has led you down the road of evil

but I would like to offer you another way

evil is...

relative.

you...

more than anyone, should know...

in order to make an omelette

it is required that you break eggs.

if you join me

I can make you a wealthy man.

you can own all the chickens and pigs you desire.

I don't own them! These are my friends!

[handshake routine of friendship]

CAHHHHCK ON A SWIIIIIIINE

(cock on a swine)

FRIENDS FOR ALL TIIIIIIIIME

(for all time)

SWINE WITH A CAHHHHHHCK

(swine with a cock)

THEY CAN NEVER BE STAHHHHHHPPED

Takeo-san! Takeo-san!

[sprinting, heavy breathing, sound of beasts and insects at dusk]

ever since you disappeared after saving my brother––

[powerful yodel reverberating across the land]

in English.

whoa...ever since you saved my brother, I've been lookin all over the world for you.

I would love to learn your ways.

you think I can teach you anything?

I was just defeated by my own indulgent secret handshake.

However, I'm looking for an intern.

You can order pizza for me

and answer my emails.

You must be tired from your travels.

You sure you don't wanna see my résumé?

Let's see it.

[ripping of paper]

I hope you don't mind the risk of danger!

No, not at all––I have low self-esteem, so I actually wouldn't mind being harmed

Good. Your first lesson will be about th etime I underestimated the local mafia...

Chicken Pig Attack

next week! will Takeo meet his doom?

or will a small furry warrior come to the rescue?

find out here on Schmoyoho

accent on the Yodel-ay-hee-hoo

that's Schmoyodel-ay-hee-hoo-ho

now have a great day and a great life!

and don't forget to hug a chicken today!

CAHHHHHHHHCK ON A SWIIIII