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  • For the Galápagos tortoises, numbers are an issue

  • they won't have to worry about for a while,

  • and it's all thanks to one hero.

  • A giant tortoise credited with saving a species

  • is being returned to its home in the wild.

  • Diego, a Galápagos giant tortoise,

  • is jokingly called a playboy, because he spent 40 years

  • helping to repopulate his species.

  • When he started in the program, he was one of two males

  • and 12 females left on the island.

  • Now there are more than 2,000.

  • -WOMAN 2: Oh! -WOMAN: Well done, Diego.

  • WOMAN 2: Yeah.

  • WOMAN: Experts estimate 40% of those tortoises

  • are related to him.

  • Now he's headed to his native island

  • of Espanola in March to retire,

  • 'cause he's exhausted!

  • (laughter)

  • (cheers and applause)

  • Thank you for your service, Diego.

  • This is an amazing story.

  • This hero turtle turned the population

  • of less than 20 tortoises into 2,000!

  • Just look at him in the water there, huh?

  • -Cooling his balls off. -(laughter)

  • You earned it, buddy!

  • And let this be a lesson to kids out there.

  • If someone tells you to go out and practice safe sex,

  • you tell them, "No, I want to be like Diego the (bleep) turtle!"

  • (laughter)

  • (applause)

  • No, I'm joking. Safe sex, safe sex.

  • I'm joking. Come on.

  • I've got to be honest. You know, when I first heard this story,

  • Diego reminded me

  • of those uncles in the hood that you'd hear about.

  • You know, where people would be chatting like,

  • "You heard how many kids Diego got? 2,000!

  • -"For real?" -"For real!"

  • I heard he ran away to an island to avoid child support.

  • (laughter)

  • Also, I love how Diego is the hero of the story

  • and not the females, who actually gave birth

  • -to 2,000 babies! -(cheering, applause)

  • Who's running this, the Oscar voters?

  • Now, look, jokes aside, Diego did help repopulate the species,

  • but he wasn't the only turtle responsible

  • for fathering the 2,000 kids.

  • Yeah, there was another turtle who helped Diego out,

  • and he retired to the Senate.

For the Galápagos tortoises, numbers are an issue

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