TIME TO VOTE IN THE 2020 ELECTION.

AND THE DEMOCRATS-- ( APPLAUSE )

THE DEMOCRATS STILL HAVE A TON OF CHOICES OUT THERE-- HELLO.

STILL DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS.

I STILL DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS.

LAST WEEK, THEY WENT DOWN TO A TON MINUS ONE, BECAUSE FORMER

HOUSING AND URBAN DEVELOPMENT SECRETARY JULIAN CASTRO

ANNOUNCED HE WAS ENDING HIS CAMPAIGN.

SO IT IS TIME TO SAY GOODBYE TO SECRETARY CASTRO.

OKAY.

WAIT A SECOND!

IS THAT HIS TWIN, JOAQUIN CASTRO?

YOU GUYS CAN'T "PARENT TRAP" US!

GET OUT OF HERE!

OF COURSE, AS SOME FOLKS LEAVE THE RACE, OTHERS JUMP RIGHT IN.

THE MOST RECENT TO JOIN WAS FORMER NEW YORK MAYOR AND

MAN WITH MONOGRAMMED SEAT BELT BOWTIE, IN CASE HIS NECK IS IN

AN DESCENT, MICHAEL BLOOMBERG.

IF YOU HAVE A TV, YOU MAY HAVE HEARD OF HIM, BECAUSE BLOOMBERG

HAS SPENT A STAGGERING $100 MILLION ON CAMPAIGN ADS

IN ONE MONTH.

HE'S HOPING HE CAN GET ELECTED JUST BY BEING RECOGNIZED FROM

TV ADS, WHICH IS WHY THE FRONTRUNNER FOR HIS V.P. SLOT IS

THE MUCINEX MUCUS BLOB.

( LAUGHTER ) HE JUST ANNOUNCED HIS BIGGEST

AD BUY OF ALL.

BLOOMBERG'S CAMPAIGN HAS PURCHASED A 60-SECOND AD DURING

NEXT MONTH'S SUPER BOWL.

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE COMMERCIAL IS GOING TO LOOK

LIKE YET.

SO FAR, ALL WE KNOW IS THAT, "THE BIGGEST POINT IS GETTING

UNDER TRUMP'S SKIN."

GOOD LUCK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SURE.

NICE GOAL A NICE GOAL, BUT THAT STUFF'S TOUGHER THAN THE

RIND ON A BUTTERNUT SQUASH.

BUT JUST HOURS AFTER BLOOMBERG'S CAMPAIGN ANNOUNCED THEIR AD BUY,

TRUMP ANNOUNCED HE WAS ALSO DROPPING $10 MILLION ON A SUPER

BOWL AD.

WELL, I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO POLITICIANS OF ALL PARTIES: GET

OUT OF MY SUPER BOWL COMMERCIALS!

I DON'T WANT TO SEE POLITICIANS.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT'S NOT WHAT THE DAY IS FOR.

I DON'T WANT TO SEE CANDIDATES FOR POLITICAL OFFICE.

I ONLY WANT TO SEE FRIENDSHIPS BETWEEN HORSES AND PUPPIES AND

INTER-RACIAL COUPLES ENJOYING CEREAL.

I WANT TO CRY BECAUSE OF A TRUCK!

THE MAN LOVES THAT TRUCK SO THAT MAN LOVES THAT TRUCK SO

MUCH.

AND HIGHS IN THE TRUCK WITH ANOTHER MAN WHO LOVES THE TRUCK.

AND THE OTHER MAN IS HIS FATHER.

THEY BOTH LOVE THE TRUCK SO MUCH.

>> Audience: OOOH!

>> Stephen: I LOVE YOU, TRUCK.

IN OTHER DEMOCRAT NEWS, LAST NIGHT, ELIZABETH WARREN HELD A

BIG RALLY IN BROOKLYN, AND FROM THE LOOKS OF IT, SHE HAD A GREAT

TIME.

CHECK OUT HER MOVES: ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ JUST A LITTLE BIT HEY, BABY

♪ JUST A LITTLE BIT ♪ >> Stephen: WOW, SHE'S ROCKING A

REAL "EVERY CHAPERONE AT THE EIGHTH GRADE DANCE" VIBE.

♪ ♪ ♪ "VOGUE" RECENTLY WHERE THEY

ASKED ABOUT HER SIGNATURE LOOK: BLACK PANTS, BLACK SHIRT, AND

SOLID-COLORED SWEATERS AND BLAZERS.

OR, AS "VOGUE" FOR SOME REASON PUT IT, WARREN'S CLOSETS, KEPT

IN SPECTRAL ORDER, LOOK LIKE MR. ROGERS'S STRETCHED ACROSS

A COLOR WHEEL.

SOUNDS LIKE AN ODD METAPHOR, BUT-- SPOILER ALERT-- IT'S THE

SHOCKING ENDING OF "A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD."

( LAUGHTER ) WE ALSO-- IT'S KING FRIDAY.

THAT'S KING FRIDAY'S DUDGEON.

THE IDEA IS-- ♪ ♪ ♪

THANK YOU!

WE ALSO GOT THE FOURTH-QUARTER FUNDRAISING NUMBERS THIS WEEK,

AND THEY'RE GOOD FOR THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY, BECAUSE IN

2019, IF YOU COMBINE ALL OF THEM, DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES

DOUBLED TRUMP'S NUMBERS.

SO CLEARLY-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

YEAH, PUT THEM TOGETHER.

HE JUST PUT THEM TOGETHER.

CLEARLY, IN 2020, TRUMP STANDS NO CHANCE AGAINST DEMOCRAZOID.

( LAUGHTER ) MUCH OF THAT FUNDRAISING CAME

FROM MR. BERNIE SANDERS, WHO, IN THE FOURTH QUARTER ALONE, RAISED

$34.5 MILLION.

( APPLAUSE ) YEAH.

AND BERNIE HAS PLANS TO USE IT.

WHILE OTHER DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES ARE STUCK IN D.C. FOR

THE SENATE'S IMPEACHMENT TRIAL, BERNIE PLANS ON ATTENDING

RALLIES AFTER HOURS BY HOPPING ON PRIVATE JETS.

NOW, AS SOMEONE WHO HAS FLOWN ON A PRIVATE JET, LET ME ASSURE

YOU, THOSE THINGS WILL KNOCK THE SOCIALISM RIGHT OUT OF YOU.

( AS BERNIE ) "EQUALITY FOR ALL!

FOR TOO LONG, THE BILLIONAIRE CLASS HAS-- WAIT.

WE GET TO DRIVE UP STRAIGHT TO THE PLANE, AND I CAN KEEP MY

SHOES ON?

THE BOTTOM 99% CAN REDISTRIBUTE 100% OF THEIR LIPS TO MY BUTT!

I AM BALLING OUT ON THE G6!" SHAKE IT UP, LADIES.

I KNOT A LOT OF MONEY.

I'M RAINING HONEY ROAST PEANUTS BACK HERE."

WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

LARRY DAVID IS HERE.

WHEN WE RETURN, FACEBOOK PROMISES TO INTERFERE IN OUR

NEXT ELECTION.