Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • morning.

  • Morning, guys.

  • What a sad, sad day is And lots of you I know on the channel have Bean wouldn't use to comment on the Caroline Flack.

  • Um horror, suicide.

  • It's kind of sweet, because if you think because of the connection to love island and I do love island love, love island and always have I didn't know Caroline Flack never met Caroline Flat cost a lot of people that I know.

  • No, Caroline.

  • Flat on.

  • I know that people are absolutely devastated Was the shop of it because, I mean, we found out last night when I saw the headlines come through.

  • I literally couldn't believe it.

  • And yet I hate to say this friend of ours is here.

  • C'mon, as I walked into the room, I remember thinking at the time that the story broke.

  • We need Everyone needs to be really, really careful here.

  • And I just had a fear.

  • I had a sort of suicide watch feeling.

  • What about about Caroline Flack?

  • And it's not what This isn't like hindsight.

  • And I don't share these thoughts all the time.

  • Especially when the girls, because you don't be suggesting that suicide is is such a common thing.

  • We've bean blighted by, unfortunately, too many times.

  • And so when the story broke, I didn't want to say I didn't want to appear sensations just within this environment of the family.

  • But I remember thinking, I don't feel happy about this because, you know, there was just something about her on the way.

  • The story broke on the way the story was managed and how I saw her reported on how I saw conduct herself in the immediate aftermath of it that suggested I don't know why I just kept it in the name of the woman he scare with them.

  • Hutchins.

  • I just felt that was according there was no chaos.

  • There was chaos around emotional chaos around it.

  • Well, because you know a lot about depression you know a lot about when we talk to you guys a lot here about you know, about depression, about anxiety, about how these about the building.

  • It's the building up of loss.

  • That's what I seem.

  • That's what I see, and I'm no, I want to keep saying I don't know Caroline Flat and you know, but anybody can see that this was one thing after another that was piling up.

  • Suicide is an incredibly complex thing, and no one thing is going to be the reason that anybody's taken their life.

  • And I think that it has been oversimplified in some face.

  • Do you think the danger?

  • And I mean, we've had experience of this in the last year where we've lost two people in our lives total.

  • We've lost more than more than that.

  • We've lost five people to suicide.

  • So and in all instances, the terrible, terrible sadness of what happens straight afterwards is unfortunately and it's it's not born of meanness or blame or any of that sort of aura is born of horrible.

  • Everyone starts to frantically trying to sign the reason to his comprehensible a reason as possible.

  • And I think this is one of my biggest concerns around mental health issues.

  • Suicide, because for anyone to take their life, is very easy to identify that thing for one thing, and somehow make that entirely responsible for it.

  • Which doesn't help in many regards the people who end up being blamed or feel like they're part of the blame or part of the responsibility because it's, you know, no one, I think We have to assume that everyone operates in life, not assuming someone's gonna kill themselves.

  • And autumn It's always the most terrible shit.

  • Yeah.

  • I mean, you know, when when my ex killed himself, I couldn't have been more shot.

  • I just couldn't have been what I still think 20 years later, I still don't ah, 100% believe it.

  • Not 100% on.

  • Every time I hear of a suicide, there's a little unpeeled ing of the onion, Another layer off it or ago that did happen.

  • So my heart really is breaking for a ll the people that you are because it's day one.

  • It is day one off the longest longest journey of acceptance.

  • Um, I think No, no, no.

  • I was just gonna say I mean, where I get where I was a bit breathless with disbelief and not so I'm not surprised if you know no one alive The same time last night, I did come in and I said, At what point did anyone think nothing awful was gonna happen if you remove her profession?

  • Though I understand ITV were actually in discussions for her to come back.

  • Every single person has said that she did step down.

  • Yeah, absolutely.

  • Don't think way damaged.

  • Yeah, we don't know the truth.

  • No.

  • On certain things.

  • We can only go with what?

  • We absolutely no absolute.

  • Absolutely.

  • But at what point?

  • So she knows she's done damage, or what's happening has done damage to her professional career.

  • Yeah, and then the CPS decides to enforce a separation.

  • So she's been personally isolated.

  • She feels professionally isolated.

  • On what?

  • Finally, she must have been financially worried as well.

  • I don't think there would have been there, too.

  • But you know all those considerations for a woman of 40.

  • She's thinking her whole life is potentially falling, falling down around her.

  • She'd also you know, there was also this pressure on her to plead guilty and all of that sort of stuff on dhe.

  • You know, if you don't, it's like when I was done for drink driving.

  • You know, you only that if you plead not guilty plea and they think you're just gonna be found guilty, you're gonna get more severe sentence.

  • So but without getting into the nitty gritty of all of that, she clearly felt she was in a encryption.

  • Was a woman in a hole.

  • She was absolutely in a hole.

  • And you know, the idea that someone could keep taking all of this and the thing that really affects me.

  • And I was listening to someone say this on the news last night is the domestic abuse.

  • If this is a domestic abuse case that we don't know that yet we don't have a detailed way.

  • Just want to be so clear in this film that everything that we say we don't know, I don't know.

  • I think a lot of here saying You have set up an absolute all of that will have paid a big part in her demise is my.

  • My fear with Caroline Flack is that she was becoming almost in a really horrible way the post to go public poster girl off the CPS and the authorities somehow being seen to deal with domestic violence from a woman to the man in a strong and efficient away as possible.

  • But I think in that sense she became a little bit kind of not hounded, but a little bit made too much of an example.

  • Well, here's the thing.

  • Domestic violence against men is a real thing.

  • again.

  • We do not know what happened in the privacy of hers on our boyfriends home.

  • But what he has said over and over again is actually he's let's read his And he said, My heart is broken and we had something so special I'm so lost for words I'm so much pain I miss you so much I know you felt safe with me You always said I don't think about anything else when I'm with you And it was no allowed to be there this time I kept asking and asking I will be your voice, baby.

  • I will promise I will ask all the questions you wanted and I will get a ll.

  • The answer's nothing will bring you back But I will try and make you proud every day I love you with all my heart.

  • Now it seems that the CPS had forbidden them.

  • Any contact?

  • No, we've also We've is also out there that she was depressed and no anti depressants again.

  • We don't know she was on antidepressants, but living with mental health illness in this household and a lot of you having mental health.

  • Can you imagine if you were in a crisis and you're forced, isolated, and then your enforced not to see Mei on.

  • Then I just Did they just go through the standard gentle like once somebody has been in a domestic violence situation.

  • And should we have sympathy for the CPS?

  • Because they're damned if they do, and they damned if they don't, they might let somebody see somebody where there's been a domestic violence charge on.

  • Then, you know, whatever went on, we don't know.

  • It seems incredibly tragic.

  • And I feel so, so sorry for her boyfriend.

  • For a friend, we don't know where there was a man or a woman that was in the house.

  • You pop to the shops, and the other thing I want to make really clear, because certainly when we've lost people to suicide the thing that people are so awful, Marseille's how selfish, that person, how selfish is that person in service of that president to do that?

  • All these people left behind it doesn't work like that.

  • Suicide isn't that people that commit suicide honestly more most times believe that they are doing a better thing for the people that are left behind because they feel like they're such a burden you have to understand, get continue to a place of feeling.

  • Such a burden on other people's lives are only bad or being destroyed or, you know, because of their contribution to them because of what they've done and because of that.

  • Now again, this is all hearsay.

  • But I suppose the thing I'm getting ready for a straight about this and one can only talk about the sense of things and the feeling about things.

  • And this is a sense I don't know about apportioning things, but the sense I get from it on I don't follow the Haven't followed this story in great detail, though I had a sense of it is, most of us do my sense of this waas of a woman being increasingly isolated, and it felt like her being made an example off to overtly.

  • I don't cause us because she was famous in this does get to me a little bit sometimes that just because someone has some public profile doesn't mean I hate to quote Shakespeare.

  • You're not made of flesh and blood.

  • You go side is also you know, she has been absolutely vilified.

  • Everything it seems to have been okay to just say whatever you want reading about Caroline that on, That's what I'm hearing from all have friends that are posting comments that this this who would have known her behind closed doors and known the words are incredibly powerful things.

  • That's why we are talking very, very carefully through this because we don't want to say something that has taken this way and taking them.

  • But people have bean actively, very, very cool to her.

  • You know, I don't even want to repeat this stuff because they begin your feud feeling.

  • But Mihm's and tweets and terrible articles on I think it's been incredibly sexist.

  • The reporting on her on I think she had a really, really bad run.

  • And I think there are a lot of people that maybe hanging their head in shame today and I think be kind on social media as well.

  • You know, you, a lot of people will we have the best community.

  • I think we have the best have a couple of movie of the best.

  • But out there out there on Twitter on Instagram these places, some some publications don't realize how deep it comes on.

  • There's numbers below few to contact anyone because I want this.

  • Those maps.

  • What's that line, mark?

  • Nobody knows how much somebody could be silently screaming.

  • Absolutely.

  • So you can say something to somebody and not know what that's gonna happen.

  • That's why I feel deeply uncomfortable about this, because there comes a point.

  • Even if I not a find of Love Island in the way that nag arisen off this world.

  • If I'm sensing just from the way I'm seeing the reporting in the tabloids that there's a woman under assault in a hole and it's being, you know, she's being a little more more more people piled on her.

  • She's being isolated more and more, something someone's gonna give and take.

  • I hate to invoke this, but someone I was speaking to last night in Vote a comparison to the Amy Winehouse story, and I do worry.

  • Wait salads.

  • Don't worry when there's a sort of almost a death drive at work somewhere in the ether that wants this narrative unfold because it sells papers well and it sells hate.

  • If you're on social media in it sells.

  • People have a need to see people sometimes that are successful and I'm not just talking about within our industry.

  • You could just have that locally.

  • You could have that with your friends.

  • You could have that within your family.

  • People that don't like to see somebody else shine a light to shine on.

  • Want to dump in that?

  • Andi, just think this is really day for reflection on for us to think about.

  • Where are we mean?

  • Don't you know what I'm thinking?

  • I last night we were out last night, but I think I would have spent a lot more time last night thinking about it if we hadn't been out.

  • But I'm thinking and feeling ashamed of where I might have being unkind to people.

  • Not Caroline.

  • Us, I said, I never know.

  • But where I might have been just a bit unkind where I might have said something that wasn't necessary.

  • You know where I might have been gossipy or bitch, I think we just have to you.

  • After that, there's a phrase.

  • There is a phrase in rehab that says Gossett kills on.

  • I've never seen yet or felt potentially other than Amy Winehouse, a story where that could become applicable toe in such a way that is a good comparison, and I think she was well, when you and the other thing to bear in mind is that again, going back to what was saying about no one is responsible Individually, they're no.

  • No one should go see this complex for the person that is complex in terms of what everyone's been like around around the person, it is a moment to reflect on how just our individual voices or individual positions of criticism or judgment, or notch the eyebrow.

  • Individually, they mean very little, but collectively they can have an enormous effect on.

  • I think what we're seeing here is an enormous sort of raised eyebrow about Caroline Flack as she became more and more isolated, more more put on her own.

  • And when you see messages played out in public forms on social media, off her partner, trying to reach out to a breaking his band, essentially, they weren't allowed to talk to each other.

  • There's something utterly heartbreaking about this.

  • I mean, so heartbreak tragic.

  • I mean, tragic.

  • My mind For him, massively on my heart is aching for the person that was It's unimaginable, but listen, we really wanted to do this we?

  • It's a difficult one to do because you don't want to be in any way sensationalist.

  • But we know that a lot of our of you guys do suffer with mental health issues on dhe.

  • We just wanted to say whatever you're going through that are people that you can talk to.

  • Put the numbers up here on DDE, think and then think again and then reach out and then reach out again because I think if she could see what was being said today, maybe that would have how much love actually waas on how much understanding for what she was going through.

  • We were recently at a funeral of somebody that took their life on DDE.

  • If only that person picking carefully president over there, only that person could have seen.

  • But also, you know, must never forget that this pain with mental health issues that can't be seen.

  • That's what we've got.

  • Remember, it can't be seen.

  • It can be seen but as painful as a broken leg or any other.

  • Like any.

  • Any horrific illness that you can think of is it can be as painful.

  • I've spoken to people that had cancer on have had mental health issues, and they've said, Give me the cancer again rather than mental health issues that I'm going through because I can't bear the pain of it.

  • So we just have to be on all so we can have massive compassion for someone with, say, a condition like diabetes or things like that.

  • Or, as you say, broken label cancer.

  • Well, that's understandable compassion, cause you can kind of see the evidence of the condition just because, you know, just just take a beat or take a pause that even have always said this.

  • Even when people demonstrate extraordinary behavioral tics more often than not, if they're if they're bad to behavioral tics for one of their better expression, there's usually a reason and a cause and a concern on a crisis happening somewhere within that person.

  • So you know what I mean is, yes, that doesn't mean you tolerate bad behavior, but let's just say I wish we could all just pause and just try and understand.

  • I often uses A with the girls and Donald Trump.

  • Everyone goes on about how horrible Donald Trump is all the time.

  • Even Donald Trump has reasons for why his behavior is so horrible, sometimes do remain.

  • Everyone is managing their interest.

  • Everyone is managing their friendship.

  • It's a really, really sad day and, you know, to to, uh, family and friends and her work colleagues and everyone just yeah, numbers below of anyone struggling and obviously comment below as well.

  • Or it goes, No, we're trying not to your comments.

  • If anyone struggling with this Yeah, okay.

morning.

Subtitles and vocabulary

Click the word to look it up Click the word to find further inforamtion about it