Trump Visits India & Countries Respond to Coronavirus | The Daily Show: Global Edition

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- Welcome to "The Daily Show: Global Edition."
I'm Trevor Noah. Before we begin,
some news coming out of South Korea.
The world famous pop group BTS
has asked their fans not to attend their shows
due to the coronavirus, yeah.
And you know less successful bands are gonna use that
as an excuse when no one buys their tickets, right?
Yeah, it just be like, "Uh, nobody came
"but that's because we told them not to,
so this one goes out to you, Mom!"
(imitating guitar riff)
All right, here are this week's headlines.
Let's kick it off with NASA,
America's most expensive way of collecting rocks.
If you wanted to be an astronaut
when you were a little kid,
first of all, congratulations on being basic.
And secondly, this may be your big chance.
- You want to be an astronaut?
Well, you better know how to swim.
- NASA is looking for a new crop of cadets
willing to take the plunge
in hopes of reaching outer space.
- The odds of being selected are pretty low.
NASA only needs about 20 trainees
for the next class.
Officials say degrees in math, science,
and engineering are required,
and you have to have a master's degree.
So, if you think you've got what it takes
to survive not just the neutral buoyancy pool
but an actual mission in space,
well, the next astronaut class opens up on Monday.
(chuckles) Apply then.
- (imitating chuckle)
Why are we laughing? (continues chuckling)
Thank God this guy is covering NASA and not a tornado.
"Everyone here is now homeless or dead."
(chuckling)
But yes, NASA is looking for new astronauts.
But you can only apply if you have a master's degree
and are in peak physical condition.
Basically, you have to be an athletic nerd,
which doesn't exist.
That would be like Neil deGrasse Mike Tyson.
That's what you've gotta be.
(imitating Tyson) "Yeah, it's time to discuss supernovas."
(laughter)
I'm joking, Mike. Now, uh... I'll be honest.
I think NASA's standards are too high.
Like, you shouldn't need
a master's degree to go to space.
You just need two things.
One, you need to know how to walk in slow motion.
Just like...
And two, you need courage.
That's all you need. You know who NASA should hire?
Those people who buy sushi at 7-Eleven.
That's-- that's what you need in space.
"I see you aren't afraid of taking risks.
You want to... want to fly to Pluto?"
All right, in other news,
remember the massive admissions scandal
that rocked American colleges last year?
Well, yesterday, one big parent
got the biggest sentence yet.
- This morning, the heiress
to the Hot Pocket snack food fortune
is heading to prison after a judge handed down
the harshest sentence yet
in the college admission scandal.
(timer dings) ♪ Hot Pockets ♪
- She understands the harm that her choices caused.
She understands the impact
that those choices had on students.
- Michelle Janavs sentenced to five months
behind bars after pleading guilty
to paying bribes to get her two daughters
admitted to elite universities.
- That's right, the Hot Pockets heiress
was sentenced to five months in prison.
Although, after two and a half months,
they'll take her out, flip her over
and then put her back in.
(laughter and applause)
By the way...
By the way, can we admit "Hot Pockets heiress"
is a very weird phrase that is somehow both trashy
and extremely upper-class at the same time.
You know, it's like, "Introducing the archduchess
of scratch-off lottery tickets."
(laughter)
Now, some people will be like,
"Oh, five months doesn't seem like a long time in prison."
But it really is, especially if you're a rich white woman.
I mean, for them, that's basically life.
Think about it. By the time you get out,
your book club has moved on to a totally new book.
If you go to prison in August,
you'll completely miss pumpkin spice season.
And worst of all, your kids
will have completely forgotten who you are, yeah.
You'll be back like, "It's me, your mom!
The woman the nanny gives you to on the weekends, remember?"
But on the other hand,
she might come out of prison with all new ideas
for fillings for Hot Pockets, you know?
Yeah, she'll be back in the boardroom like,
"All right, guys, forget that ham and cheese shit.
"We're doing toilet wine and cigarettes, come on.
"Gonna put a shiv inside each one
"so if anyone steps to Aunt Becky,
they can catch a fade."
President Donald Trump-- still not used to saying that.
Last night, he flew 8,000 miles
for his first state visit to India.
Now, Trump's in India partly to negotiate a trade deal,
and partly to get his copy of the Kama Sutra signed.
Yeah, Trump and Melania use that book all the time.
Her favorite position is the one where she's on top
and he's not in the room.
Now, you might be wondering how would a country
full of brown people react to a visit from Donald Trump?
Well, it turns out, from the moment Trump arrived,
it was love at first sight.
- President Trump just arrived this morning
for a two-day visit.
The president received what's being called
a "king's welcome,"
orchestrated by the Indian prime minister.
The president headed a massive rally
packed with more than a hundred thousand people.
- A Make America Great Again rally, India-style.
♪♪
They even blasted "Macho Man"
before the president took the stage,
and when he did, a show of affection
for India's prime minister.
- Namaste, Trump!
- The president is overwhelmingly popular
here in India, where his pro-business,
tough-on-terror image is widely admired.
- I happen to like Prime Minister Modi a lot.
He says between the stadium and-- and the, uh...
airport, we'll have about seven million people,
so it's gonna be very exciting.
- Seven million people
came out to see Trump
go from the airport to the stadium?
That's impressive.
Although, to be fair, it's also India.
There's seven million people between any two locations.
(laughter) Yeah, I mean...
the line at Indian Starbucks is seven million people.
There are Indian brides right now who are like, "No, Daddy,
"I just want a small wedding.
No more than seven million people."
He's like, "Okay, Anushka, first cousins only."
But it is true that Donald Trump is very popular in India.
All right? Some like him
because of his anti-Muslim rhetoric,
some like him because of his business savvy,
and all of them like him
because his skin looks like tikka masala.
laughter) And since India is so fond...
(cheering and applause) so fond...
of President Donald Jaipur Trump,
they pulled out all the stops for his visit.
- At India's famous Taj Mahal,
workers paint, spruce, and polish.
Roads are renovated,
and nearby, the Yamuna River rises,
as millions of liters of water are released
to cover its foul, polluted smell.
- Preparations included a hastily built wall
that critics say was meant to block the view of a slum,
keeping thousands of poor people out of sight.
- Yeah, India is trying so hard to impress Trump
that they're building new roads, cleaning up dams,
and even building a wall to hide their slums.
And you know Trump's gotta love that.
He's just like, "You see? They built a wall,
"and I haven't seen a single Mexican.
It works, folks."
Now, India cleaning its rivers and streets for Trump
might seem extreme, but if you think about it,
this is basically what guys do
whenever a girl says she's coming over, right?
Yeah, you make the bed, pick up your clothes,
hide all your junk in the closet.
Then she calls and says she can't make it,
and you're like, "Damn it!
So I flushed the toilet for nothing?"
So clearly, India is trying to give Trump
a memorable experience.
There was, however, one tiny culture clash
that Trump had to deal with.
- Donald Trump is in India this morning,
but he could be forced to go without his favorite meals
of burgers and steaks.
India's prime minister, Narendra Modi,
a devout vegetarian,
plans not to serve any meat to the president
during his visit.
One person who's familiar
with President Trump's eating habits
has told the media they're worried
about how he'll cope with the lack of meat, saying,
"I have never seen him eat a vegetable."
(laughter)
- I honestly don't know what's stranger...
The fact that Trump might eat vegetables
or that people are actually worried about how it'll go.
Because you realize the news wasn't even snarky about it.
They weren't like, "Ha-ha!
The president has to eat vegetables!"
They were like, "Yo, if Donald Trump eats broccoli,
he could die." (laughter)
So, this is gonna be hard on Trump.
And you know what I was thinking is what's worse for him,
is that cows are so sacred in India,
that they're allowed to just wander around in the city.
So can you imagine how hard that's gonna be for him?
He hasn't eaten beef for two days,
and then he's just gonna start seeing cows in the street,
and he's gonna be like, "Oh, my God, I'm hallucinating!
"All the cows I've eaten have come back to haunt me!
I'm sorry, cows! I'm so sorry!
So sorry."
But I will say, I'm impressed, because despite the beef issue,
Trump is making the best of his India trip.
In fact, he even made an effort to show the Indian people
how much he respects them by trying to speak their language.
And it went about as well as you would think.
- India welcomes us
at the world's largest cricket stadium
right here in "Abbabad."
Nam-oo-stay. Chi-wala.
Gushard. Sardar Patel.
"Arshrom." Suchin-tendo-kur.
Goosholah. Go-ah.
Dewali.
As the great religious teacher
Swami Vive-kamunund once said...
(laughter)
- Oh, man!
Oh, okay, even if that pronunciation was right,
that facial expression was so wrong.
That looked like the most exercise he's gotten in decades.
Just like, "Kum-kum-mund-nun...
"Kum-mund-nun... All right!
That's my steps for the day. I'm done."
Oh, man.
Now, now, this was really interesting.
After Trump butchered half the Hindi dictionary,
Indian Twitter lost their minds, right?
People were coming on, like, "Dude, it's not Nam-oo-stay.
"It's Namaste.
Who messes up Namaste and says nam-oo-stay?"
But to those Indians, I say please, don't be mad.
All right, Trump may not be able to pronounce Hindi words,
but he can't pronounce English words, either, so...
he's an equal opportunity offender.
And besides, think about it. It would have been way scarier
if Trump had come out all fluent in Hindi.
Can you imagine if he just came out and he was like:
(impersonating Trump speaking fluent Hindi)
Bigly.
It would have been weird. (cheering and applause)
So... that was day one
of President Trump's trip to India, and you know what?
I'm proud of the president.
I'm really proud of him for teaching us a valuable lesson,
and that is, no matter how old you are,
you can still go to new places, make new friends,
and have new mind-blowing experiences
like eating a carrot for the first time.
And to that I say, nam-oo-stay.
We'll be right back.
- Welcome back to "The Daily Show."
One of the most interesting stories of the 2020 election
has been the rise of Pete Buttigieg.
And no matter what you think of his candidacy,
you have to agree that it's pretty amazing
that a gay man can be a serious contender
for president of the United States.
But what do LGBTQ voters think
about this moment in American politics?
Well, we sent Jaboukie Young-White
to sit down with some of them to find out.
- I'm here in New York City, gay capital of the world--
except for Berlin, San Francisco or Congress--
here to talk to some LGBTQ voters--
Anyway, I've come to the Leslie Lohman
to talk with LGBTQ voters
about finally getting the gay presidential candidate
we've all dreamed of.
So if someone told you ten years ago
that there was going to be a gay presidential candidate,
how do you feel like you would have reacted?
Because I know, for me, I would have been like,
"Who told you I'm gay? Was it Kevin?"
- Oh, I would... I would have believed it,
but I would think it would be a woman, though.
- Ten years ago, Barack Obama was still
evolving about marriage.
It's a real leap to think that ten years later
we would have a viable queer candidate
for president of the United States.
- But being proud of Pete
doesn't mean that we're voting for him.
Raise your hand if you plan on voting
for Mayor Pete in the primary.
- I don't think it's possible for me.
There's nothing that he could do to make you vote for him?
- No.
- Our community actually has a bit of a shameful history
in the sense that gay white men
have historically marginalized the contributions
of trans women and trans men and people of color.
I am trans, and, you know, knowing
that there is gonna be a... you know,
a cis gay presidential candidate doesn't do anything
to make my life any safer as a trans woman.
- And that's the divide.
According to my unofficial poll,
the type of gay you are determines
whether you trust Pete to represent you.
A lot of people will say that
he's not queer enough, or he's not gay enough.
- What does that even mean?
- He's gay enough if we can hold his feet to the fire
to make sure that our voices are heard.
- I live in South Bend, and I work
with Black Lives Matter South Bend, and those are--
They don't have trust for Pete.
- So you want him to wear a leather harness,
and you want him and Chasten to open their relationship,
and you want them to be poly?
- We just want him to actually pay attention
to the policing problem.
- I had a face-to-face with him, and I asked him,
"What are you doing about the police brutality in Indiana?"
And he kept saying, "Well, this is what I want you to do.
I want you to push me, I want..."
I don't need to push you.
You know what needs to be done.
- Okay, so you're not asking him to be more gay.
You just want him to care about the margins.
- Correct. I want him to care about the margins,
and leave the Dockers at home.
- Pete's rainbow booty shorts are actually
just a pair of relaxed fit Dockers,
which is why I wonder if his mainstream appeal is
that you can kind of forget he's gay.
As much as we can say that Pete's brand of queerness
has problematic aspects, don't you think that
that actually makes him electable?
For example, look at this.
- That is my brand of queerness.
We don't have a picket fence,
but that looks like a picture of my husband and me.
- The word that's not there is "First Gay Family."
You know, the word that's there is "First Family."
That is something America can get behind, I think.
- I see it as a disappointingly sanitized version
of what it means to be gay.
- To a lot of critics, this looks like this.
- Oh...
- They're less a gay couple
and more so just, like, uh, two guys
who decided to make granola in their kitchen.
- They're clearly gay,
and if that's not gay enough
for the people in this country, I don't know what would be.
- So it sounds like
the takeaway of this conversation should be,
if Buttigieg does not eat his husband's ass
on live TV, he is not gay enough for me.
- I'm out. (laughter)
- How about this? Gay people.
We're basically straight.
- N-no.
- I mean, the takeaway is also that for a lot of voters,
you can't just choose gay.
You also have to think about your race.
- Okay. Pete Buttigieg-- black people don't like him
because of the police stuff
and homophobia or something?
- Black people like him.
- And a lot of black people don't.
- Pete Buttigieg.
A lot of black people don't like him, but some do.
- Can you imagine how fun it will be
to watch a gay, married, Midwestern mayor
destroy Donald Trump?
- Okay, I hear you.
Pete Buttigieg.
I'm taking Trump to pound town.
- No one wants to see that. - No.
- So then, what is is it?
- I think the takeaway should be that, um,
the LGBTQ community is not a monolith,
and, uh, you know, the first gay presidential candidate
means very different things
to very different people in our community.
- Whether you believe Pete is the visibility
we spent decades fighting for,
or just another centrist white guy
who's easy on the eyes and the police,
the gay community is making it clear.
If you want our vote,
you better work b--
(sighs) I can't-- I'm not fuckin' saying that.
I can't fucking that.
What the fuck does that even mean?
(cheering and applause)
- Jaboukie Young-White, everybody.
We'll be right back.
- Welcome back to "The Daily Show."
My guest tonight is a writer
who explores racism and privilege
in her "New York Times" best-selling debut novel
called "Such a Fun Age."
Please welcome Kiley Reid.
(music and cheering)
- Welcome to "The Daily Show." - Thank you for having me.
- Uh, congratulations on your debut novel
being a "New York Times" best seller.
Seven weeks on "The New York Times" Best Seller list.
- Yeah, thank you, thanks. - That's amazing.
(cheering and applause) And...
And congratulations on creating a book
that's not just doing well,
but it's creating so much buzz in the right ways.
You know, you have fans that include Reese Witherspoon,
who's made it, like, her book club book of the month.
You've got, uh, Lena Waithe, who bought it...
You know, got... bought the film rights for the book,
which is really fantastic. - Right.
Um, the book is an interesting one
because it opens with 25-year-old Emira,
who is this woman who works as a babysitter,
working for a white family who's very rich,
and things basically go wrong. - Yeah.
- Like, where do you even come up with a story like that?
Because it seems like a simple story.
It's like, "Oh, it's just gonna be babysitter world."
Then it's like, no, it turns into fake kidnapping
and then white privilege.
It's funny, but it's also deep at the same time.
- Right. - Where does that come from?
- I think that in many ways, this is a really old story.
A black caregiver
and a white woman and a white child,
and their interactions are really precarious and charged.
And from the very first chapter,
Emira is accused of kidnapping this child,
and she's humiliated.
And I think that, like, what makes it different
is someone pulls out a cell phone.
And people's relationship to a racist incident
becomes different when they see it firsthand.
- Right. Right.
Now, I don't want to spoil what happens
later on in the book, I will tell people
what really is the catalyst, in my opinion, in the story,
and that is you have Emira being in this place where
she's been accused of kidnapping this little white child.
Um, you also have an incident in the family
where there's a racist incident with the husband.
- Right. - The family's under siege.
And then the woman who's in the house, Alix,
calls her and says, "Hey, Emira,
"I need you to come and look after my child
"while we're trying to work through
this whole racism thing."
And then she wants to be her friend.
And that's really what the book is in and around.
- Yeah. I think so, too. Um, it's definitely--
I mean, that happens. You get a little crush on someone.
You think they seem really cool and interesting.
But that layer between them of "This is your employee,
and you have to respect her space,"
and that's where things get tricky.
- Why do you think it becomes so tricky?
Because I think it's hard to explain to people.
And it's a really wonderful book to read,
because it's so natural.
But how did you manage to capture how tricky it can be?
Is there a reason you went with that for the story?
You know, it could have been a simpler story.
It could have been one that didn't com--
contain as much complexity,
which would really get us into these conversations.
'Cause I've read reviews from everyone,
of every race, every walk of life, saying,
"I see myself in the story in a different way."
- Mm-hmm. - Is there a reason you went
with this specific story?
- It's probably because I love awkward moments.
I just can't get enough of them. And I watch people squirm.
And I-- When I read something that makes me have to put
a book back down, those are my absolute favorite moments.
And so it's-it's not fortunate for my characters,
but that's what I love to read, yeah.
- Right. How many people have asked to touch your hair?
(laughter) - I mean...
I'm gonna say the limit does not exist.
(Trevor laughing) So many.
And it's all those little things that are so layered
in history that I love writing about.
- Right. Yes. So, let me ask you this.
If someone's reading this book, and they go,
"Kiley, I'm really trying, you know?
"I'm a white person who's really trying.
"I didn't even realize I'm...
"these microaggressions are taking place.
"I didn't even know that I'm offending people
in these moments-- I'm really trying."
When someone reads this book, what do you hope
that they would take from it that would give them
a greater understanding of what they're doing in the world
or how they're interacting with people of color?
- Oh, and this does happen-- at every reading I have,
there's a white woman who's just finished reading it,
and she's, like, not ready to do this whole thing with me yet,
and she's like, "I don't know what you want me
to do from this book."
Um, I think the biggest thing is the influence of the society
rather than the individual.
I feel that as soon as I start saying, "You're a bad person,"
I stop judging the systems that keep poor people poor
and give people permission to treat other people this way.
- Wow. - There's a really big racist
incident in the first chapter, where Emira
is racially profiled, but for the rest
of the novel, she's struggling to get health insurance.
And that is something that has been a problem
for domestic labor workers since the 1930s,
and before that, as well.
And so I think covering these bigger issues
of systemic racism is way more important than, you know,
did I say the right thing in front of my cool babysitter?
- It really is fascinating that you've done that,
because, you know, when reading through the book,
one thing that jumps out to me is,
you have this world where you've tackled an issue
that many people have commented on.
You know, I see it a lot online.
People saying, for instance, when there's a presidential
debate or when people are talking to politicians,
they make it seem like there are black issues...
- Yes. - ...and then there are issues
for every other American, when, in fact,
black people have issues like anyone else can.
And in this book, you seem to highlight that.
It's one issue of race, and then there are just issues
of life that anyone can face.
- Oh, yeah. - Was that purposeful?
- Oh, 100%. I think that talking about race
without talking about class is kind of a moot point.
And there's black women in the novel
who are wealthy and have really high respectability politics
and believe that Emira should want more for her life.
And then she has other black friends
who support her in everything she does.
And I think not including all of those differences
does a disservice to black women.
- Well, I'll tell you this, you've written a book
that is funny, it's engaging, uh,
it is wonderfully awkward in many moments.
You don't want to put it down. You read it so quickly.
Um, this is not gonna be your first bestselling novel.
So thank you so much for being on the show.
- Thank you so much for having me.
- A really, really wonderful read.
"Such a Fun Age" is available now.
You definitely want to go out and get it.
Kiley Reid, everybody. We'll be right back.
- Well, that's it for "The Daily Show: Global Edition."
I'm Trevor Noah. Before we go,
some news out of London
The city has offered to host the 2020 Sumi--
Summer Olympic Games if Tokyo has to cancel them
over the coronavirus, that's what London has said.
And I'm not gonna lie, I'm disappointed in you, London,
'cause this is a classic player hating move.
Yeah, I mean, like, "Hey, girl,
"I couldn't help notice your man has the coronavirus.
You, uh, you wanna roll with me?"
That's trash.