thatsoundslikeitsoundslikedecision, actually, welcometothisnewangleofmyroombecause I couldn't bewelltheretocleanupthatmess.
I hadaskedyouguysforquestionsfor a Q and A, I thinkover a fullmonthagonowandthenpromptlyforgotaboutit.
Buttoday, becausemylifeiskindoffallingapartand I don't havetimetofilm a fulllikefashionrelatedvideowithoutthisCubanaviall, quick, hopefullythepeoplewhohaveaskedthesehaven't unsubscribedsincetheyaskedthem, like a monthago.
Let's jumpintothesequestions.
Somy 1st 1 is, Whydidyoustart a YouTubechannelandwhoisyourinspirationforstarting?
So I startedthisYouTubechannel.
I think a littlebitovertwoyearsago, honestly, couldn't tellyouexactlywhy I startedmyYouTubechannelkind.
Just a combinationoflikingfashion, being a weirdasskidwholiketotalkto a cameralikingeditvideos.
I don't think I hadatthatpointlight a uniquefashiondivisiontosharewiththeworldorreallymuchof a personalityoncamera, but I kindoflikejustplayingaroundwiththewholevideomakingthing.
I alsogrewupinlike a superboringsuburbantownwheretherewasn't a wholelotofentertainment.
Soyeah, whynotputmyfaceonYouTube?
That's normal.
Funfact.
I actuallyalsohad a YouTubechannelbeforethis, I thinkwhen I wasin, like, secondtothirdgrade, myoriginalchannelwascoldpipecleanerstudios, anditwasliterallyjustlike 32ndvideoswithdinosaurfigurines I'd madeoutofpipecleaners.
I rememberdistinctlytherewas a yellowdinosaurnamedCharlie, andhejusthadlittleadventureswithhisfriends.
I thinkoneofmyvideosgot, like, 100 years.
Onetime I waslike, readyformyYouTubefame.
Atthattime, I wasalsosuperintoCommunityChannel, and I stillamwheneversheuploadslikeeverythreemonths.
So I alsostarteduploadingtheseweirdlikecommunitychannelaskedvideoslike a superoffpretendversionofCommunityJailwhere I wastryingtodolike a littlebitofstandupandlikelittleskitswhere I wouldeattogethervideosofmyselftalkingtomyself.
Needlesstosaythosedidnotget a lotofuseeither, butpeoplekindofstartedmakingfunofmeandmyGirlScouttroopaboutthem.
Andthen I feltbad, and I toldmymomthat I hadputmyfaceonYouTube, whichwaslike, Ah, crimeas a littlekidAfterthat I justfeltsoguiltyaboutit.
But I'vereadallmyvideosandmychannelandthat, myfriends, iswhy I nevertellanybodyaboutmychannelnowadaysbecause I havebeenscarredandtheotherpartofthisquestion, who's yourinspirationfor a startingone?
I honestlydon't remembertoomanyofthechannelsthat I watchedbackthen.
Justbecause I feellikeYouTubehaskindofhighturnoverrate, and I don't watch a wholelotofthesamepeoplethat I didtwoyearsago.
I think I watcheddenimbackthen, and I really, reallylovedKrystle.
LimberChannelissoprofessionalandbeautiful, but I thinkbackwhenshewasstartingoutmorelikethreeorfouryearsago, shewouldmakethesereallycool, justlikehomemadevideosofhermixingandmatchingbasicsinsupercreativeways.
So I reallylovedwatchinghervideos, and I wouldwantthem, like, overandoverandoveragain.
No, actually, when I was a kid, probablyupuntil, likeninthgrade, I wassuch a tomboy.
I hatedfashionandbeautyandeverythinglikeearlysomuch.
I think a lotofthat, though, was a resultofmymom.
Andlikemostoftheotheradults, I grewuparoundbeingsecondwavefeministsthattheykindofingrainedinme.
Likeif I wantedtobesmartandsuccessfuland a badass, Then I hadtorejectreallygirlythingsandthatlikingbeautyandfashionandstufflikethatwaslike a signofbeingsuperficial, like a wasteofbrainpower.
I dostilladmitthatbeautyandfashionaredefinitelymoresuperficialpartsoflifeandshouldn't belikethefocusofyourentirelifeunlessyou'remeandyoumakeyourmoneyonyoutosomehow.
Butas I'velearned a lotmoreincollege, itiscompletelypossibletobe a girlygirltoe.
Loveyouroutfitsandyourmakeupand, youknow, chataboutboyswithyourfriendsorwhateverandbe a completecareerbad.
It's likethosethingsarenotantitheticalatall.
A lotofwaystheycancomplementoneanother.
So, yeah, there's yourweeklyfeministmessage.
Butbacktohow I gotintofashion.
Myoldersisterwasalways a lotmorefashionablethan I was, andeverynightmeandmyfamilywouldwatchTVtogether.
Becauseatmyhighschool, theydidn't have a filmprogramatall?
Obviously, since I grewupinsuburbanMaryland, therewasn't like a filmindustrythat I couldreallygoandlearnfrom, basically, justattheendofmyjunioryearwhen I wasthinkingaboutwhat I wanted, Doyoudowiththerestofmylife.
I waslike, Well, filmis a coolthing.
I made, like, oneshortfilmthatmyclassmatessaid I wasgood.
SothatsoundslikeitsoundslikeDecisionAshley.
So I decidedtoapplytothreefilmschools, USCandwhenyouand U.
So I toldmyselfthatif I madeitintooneofthetopthreefilmschools, then I wouldallowmyselfthio, givethiswholefilmthing a shot.
Andif I didn't, I probablywouldn't have a greatchanceintheindustry.
So I justmajorinsomethingnormal.
I guessso, withoutsoundingtooobnoxious.
Hopefully, I endedupgettinginto N Y.
U and U.
C L A filmprogramsandthenfornonfilmschools.
I gotintoseveral, butmytopcontenderswereColombiaandStanford.
I gottovisitColumbiaandyouand I loveNewYorkfromthebottomofmyheart.
I thinkitisbyfarthebestcityinAmerica.
I sent a lotoftimethereas a kid, and I alwaysgouptherewithmydadonhisbusinesstrips.
I wasstoringColumbiaprettyheavilybecause I wasalso a JohnJayscholar, whichislikesomespecialdistinctionwheretheybasicallypayforyoutodoanythingyouwantoverthesummer.
AndalsoColumbiahas a reallygoodgraduateprogramandfilmmaking.
Butwhen I visited, itbecameprettyapparenttomethatbasicallytherewasn't a greatundergradfilmprogramintheirfilmstudies, Major, youdidn't reallygettomakeanything.
Youwerejustlikestudyingtheoldiefilms.
AndalsoColombia's corecurriculumis a fickleboyandwhyyouwasreallyfool.
Butwhat I likeisthattheprogramisaround 200 peopleineachgrade, whichis a lotlargerthanyouseelays 15 andobviouslythemainissuewastuition, whichisinsanewithroomandboard.
I thinkit's like $76,000 nottosaythatoutofstatetuitionischeap, but u C L.
A.
Atall, butit's nearlyhalfthepriceof N.
Y.
U.
I neveractuallyendedupvisitingStanford, which I kindofregrettothisday.
Atthispoint, I reallyhadmyheartsetonbeing a filmmajor.
Thisoverlylongexplanationthenleftmewith U C L.
A.
I likethathadthesmallestprogram, andtheyalsoseemflexiblewithallowingmetograduateinthreeyears, whichwouldalsohelpcutmytuitioncosts a lot.
And I alsolikethatitwasrightherein L.
A.
Whichmeansthatpeople I meetatschoolandinternshipsandstuffarealreadyinHollywood, whichiswhere I'm gonnaendup, I willsay, especiallylastyear.
I wasn't sureif I madetherightchoice, especiallythefactthat I gaveupColumbiaandStanfordtocomeheremademelike, reallysaltywhentheprogramwasn't doingeverythingthat I wanteditto.
Butattheendoftheday, I dothink, youknow, youonlygetonelife, soit's worthfightingforfor a careerthatyouactuallyreallywant.
Hopefullyitworksoutforme, weshallsee.
Askedlike 40 yearoldmewhomaybeunemployed.
This, I swear, isthelastcollegerelatedquestionbecause I realizedthat I rambledaboutthatlastoneforlike, 10 minutes.
Thisoneasks, YougotintoStanford.
Howdidyouperforminhighschool?
SlashWhatwereyousee, Billydo a wholenothervideoaboutcollegeapplications.
I knowthatinhighschooltheyare, like, thebiggestfuckingdealever.
Basically, mysolepurposeinlifefor 18 yearswasjustinto a goodcollege, sayingrealquickthat I had a 4.0, and 23 90 onmy S A.
T.
And I didfartoomanyextracurricularsthat I didn't actuallylike.
Basically, I wasverymuch a tryHard.
Butif I haveanyadviceforcollegeapplications, I'd saythatespeciallyforlike, eliteschoolisreallymoreabouthavinglike, a uniqueanglethanbeingreally, reallygreatateverything.
TheletterthattheadmissionsofficersentmefromStanfordbasicallyjustsaidthatwhattheyreallyappreciatedaboutmyapplicationwasmykindofentrepreneurialside, likeonesummer I startedanEtsyshopand I soldmyart.
I toldthemthat I had a fashionblogger, although I don't think I mentionedthatyoutwocan.
Obviously, I endedupinfilmschoolanyway, whichwasbasicallytheresultof a scriptthat I wrotelikeoneweek.
Thisis a goodquestionformenowbecause I'm struggling a littlebit, especiallysince I'm graduating.
Inthreeyears, I'vebeentaking a lotmoreclassesthanaverage.
Also, tohelppaymytuition.
Upuntillastquarter, I havebeenworkingparttimeatrestaurantsaswell.
I willsay I'm supergratefulthatthingshaveactuallygotten a loteasierinthepast 2/4 becauseYouTubeisnowpayingenoughthat I'vebeenabletoquitmyparttimejobs.
Sothat's justanotherthingoffmyschedule.
Althoughnow I alsoaddedtwovideos a weekforsomeotherYouTubers, soitiskindof a lotonmyplate.
Eversince I turned 16 I'vebeenworking 2 to 4 parttimejobsinanattempttosaveupforcollege.
I amprettyusedtobeing a bitoverscheduled.
I saywithanytimemanagementissue, it's mostlyjust a matterofnotspendingtoomuchtimethinkingabouthowmuchyouhavetodoandjustactuallydoingit.
Andalsowhen I'm working, I justdon't take a wholelotofbreaksorwatchTVon a regularbasiswhenitalsohelpstohave a reallydeadsociallife.
Sookay, ournextquestionishowdo I feelmoreconfidentinmyclothing?
Clearlylikethisquestion, because I feellikeconfidenceissuch a bigpartofanyoutfitthatyouwear.
It's likeconfidenceisthebestaccessory.
He's a quotethatsoundsnice.
I thinklikeanythingintermsofpersonaldevelopment, beingconfidentisjust a process, especiallywhenyou're a teenager.
I feellikeitjusttakes a certainnumberofyearsto, likethrowintoyourbodyandalsoyourpersonalityandwhoyouare.
I'm definitelystillworkingonmyconfidence, but I feel a lotmorelikecomfortableandathomeinmyownbodyandmyownfaceandeverything.
Then I did a coupleyearsago.
There's any, like, quicktipfixthat I couldprovide, thoughitwouldbetoget a goodfulllengthmirrorandgetsomegoodnaturallightinginyourroomwhen I waslivinginthedormlastyear, firstofall, wehad a reallybadmirrorfromTargetthatliterallydistortedyoutomakeyoulookshorter.
Butlookinthemirroreverymorningwhen I puttogethermyoutfitand I thoughtitlooked a lotworsethanitactuallydid.
Youjustdoyourself a favorandgetyourself a nicelittlesetupsothatyoucanseehowyouroutfitactuallylook.
I got a couplequestionsaboutmyworkoutroutine, and I wouldsay, Firstofall, watchthisvideothat I posted a couplevideosagoaboutbodyimageandkindofmyweirdjourneydownlikethefitnessrabbitholeofexercisingwaytomine.
Now I don't reallygotothegymanymore.
Firstofall, justcauseoldJimBo's reallyintimidatemesothatprettymuchjustlike a coupleoftimes a weekorwhenever I'm feelinglikeit, I'lljustdosomeexercises, likeonthefloorofmyapartment.
Mostly, I justdosomelight, butanABexercises.
Andforcardio, I prettymuchjustwalktoclass, goshoppingandhavesex.
Okay, I have a lotmorequestions, butmyroommatesarecomingbackhomesoon, so I'lljustfinishoffwiththisone, which I thoughtwasreallycute.
Anditis.
Whendidyouhaveyourfirstkiss?
Butthisis a prettyclassic, likeYouTubestorytimeshit.
Butmyfirstkisswasactuallyreally, reallyfew, althoughtheguy's a bitof a interestingguy.
Now, whoisthisguythat I hadlikedfor a longtime?
Andheaskedmetoourjunioryearprom, so I think I waseither 16 or 17 Atthatpoint.
Therewas a lotoffilledupinlikeawkward 16 yearoldsexytexting.