(APPLAUSE)

>> THANK YOU, COME ON!

GON, THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

WELCOME TO THE SHOW.

I'M MELISSA McCARTHY.

I'M NOT JAMES CORDEN, ALTHOUGH I DO GET THAT A LOT.

WHICH IS FUNNY.

I AM SO EXCITED TO BE HERE.

IS AONE ELSE HERE TONIGHT WEARING THEIR INCLUSION ROBE?

(LAUGHTER) ANYONE

I SEE, I SEE A COUPLE OF HANDS UP-- NO, YOU'RE NOT DOING THIS,

MAYBE UP THERE, I THOUGHT-- NO?

THERE IS USUALLY A COUPLE.

MAYBE THEY ARE IN THE BATHROOM, JUST BEING INCLUSIVE.

REALLY.

SO YEAH, THIIS MY INCLUSION ROBE FOR THE HOLIDAYS.

(APPLAUSE) >> THANK YOU.

>> I MEAN I KNOW THAT JAMES WOULD ONLY CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS

AND I DON'T WANT TO SAY THAT IS WRONG OR THAT JAMES CORDERN IS

TERRIBLE OR THAT JAMES CORDEN ONLY RECOGNIZES HOLIDAYS THAT

ARE IMPORTANT TO HIM.

I MEAN I'M NOT SAYING THAT.

IF YOU ARE THINKING IT, I CAN'T STOP THAT BUT I JUST THINK THAT

PEOPLE SHOULD CELEBRATE WHATEVER HOLIDAYS OR DON'T CELEBRATE

HOLIDAYS OR DON'T HAVE AN OPINION, EITHER WAY.

ALL OF THIS IS REALLY JUST OKAY FOR ME, CELEBRATED COUNTRIES

MARKS OR CELEBRATE HANUKKAH OR KWANZA OR NATIONAL FRUIT CAKE

DAY, O OR GUY, DECEMBER 27th IT IS UNDERRATED. BUT CHECK IT

OUTK I HAVE A FEELING IT WILL BE BIG THIS YEAR, IT IS THEIR BY

CENTENNIAL WHICH IS NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THEIR

PIE-CENTENNIAL WHICH IS IN JULY.

SO THAT'S FUN.

I ACTUALLYK I GOT IN ROBE, FUN FA, THERE WAS A SISTER ACT 2

EXHIBIT IN PLANET HOLLYWOOD.

I THINK THAT IS KIND OF LIKE THE DICEY, VEGAS, ALL OF THAT.

I JUST STRAIGHT UP AND TOOK IT AND I THK THEY WERE WONDERING

BUT SOMETIMES YOU ARE FAMOUS, YOU CAN KIND OF WAWSK OUT WITH

THINGS.

SO I DID THAT.

AND OF COURSE, YOU ARE LOOKING AT THIS AND YOU PROBABLY ASSUME

CERTAIN THINGS LIKE WOULD YOU ASSUME THIS IS A SANTA PATCH?

WELL, MAYBE, BUT MAYBE IT'S NOT SANTA.

SOME OF YOU ARE GOING TO LOOK AT THIS AND SAY HEY, IS THAT A

SANTA PATCH.

AND SOME WILL YOU SAY HEY IS THAT A THICK GAL NAMED MAUREEN

WHO OF LOS RED.

AND EITHER WAY, IT IS OKAY I MEAN YOU KNOW, THE BEARD LOOKED

A LITTLE WEIRD TO ME.

ANYWAY, THERE IS ALSO A MENORAH HERE, REPRESENTING IF YOU ARE

JEW YOU WERE.

OR ALSO I THINK IT LOOKS VERY MUCH LUKE A TRIDENT.

SO IN CASE YOU ARE LIKE REALLY INTO AQUAMAN.

SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING, TAKE NOTE, WE ARE BRINGING LAND AND

OCEAN TOGETHER.

WOW, RIGHT?

GOOD FOR US.

(APPLAUSE) AND LET'S NOT FORGET QUEEN OF

ENGLAND.

A LOT OF BRITS AROUND THIS SHOW.

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE THEM O.

HERE IS WHAT IS REALLY COOL ABOUT THIS, SHE IS 93 NOW SO

THIS IS TO SCALE, THIS IS HER ACTUAL SIZE.

YEAH.

ISN'T THAT NEAT.

THIS HERE REPRESENTS THE WORLD CHAMPION 1991 CHICAGO CHICAGO

BULLS.

THAT'S NOT REALLY A HOLIDAY BUT IT SHOULD BE.

ALSO I'M FROM CHICAGO AND IF I DON'T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT I GET

A LOT OF GUFF.

TINY SWEATER REPRESENTS ALL THOSE HUSBANDS WHO FINALLY DID

LAUNDRY FOR THE FIRS TIME.

WE LOST A LOT OF GOOD SWEATER THIS YEAR.

OH, HERE, THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES.

THIS IS MY OLD BLOCKBUSTER CARD.

AND FOR ME IT REALLY SYMBOLIZES PATIENCE, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE IT

TOOK ME A LOT OF TIME, I WOULD GO TO THE STORE, GET THE COPY OF

DIEHARD, TAKE IT HOME, FORGET I LEFT IT ON THE COFFEE TABLE,

THEN HE PUT IT IN A DRAR AND I'M RACKING UP FEES AND THEN I

HAD TO WAIT THEM OUT UNTIL BLOCKBUSTER WENT OUT OF

BUSINESS.

I MEAN MIRACLES DO HAPPEN, GUYS.

THAT'S-- THE DONUT, THAT SAY GOOD ONE.

THIS IS JUST A DONUT.

BUT THR'S GOOD, RIGHT?

THAT'S MY ROBE, YOU KNOW.

(APPLAUSE) SO IT IS KIND OF LIKE THOSE

BUMPER STICKERS YOU SEE THAT SAY COEXIST, YOU KNOW, I THINK IT IS

SPELLED OUT IN SOME KIND OF WICCAN LETTERS AN DIFFERENT

RELIGEONS.

IT IS JUST LIKE THAT, EXCEPT IT IS A LOT MORE CONVOLUTED AND

HEAVIER AND WARMER.

SO THERE IS THAT.

SO HAPPY HOLIDAYS, OR NOT, WE DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TALK ABOUT

IT, REALLY, WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT, DUBTS HAVE TO BE IN A

BOAT, IF YOU DON'T HAVE A BOAT, YOU DON'T HAVE TO FLOAT.

YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO GET IN A BOAT.

WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT BOATS.

THIS HAS REALLY GOTTEN AWAY FROM ME.