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  • hey it's Stephan Erdman here alright now if you know me then you know that i believe

  • that any man

  • can attract women

  • any man can be great at that

  • any man can get

  • girlfriends

  • have great relationships

  • if they put their minds to understanding

  • what makes the process work

  • how women get attracted to you

  • how you need to follow certain principles

  • that will make it easy for you and how you need to avoid certain things that

  • may feel great

  • when they're happening

  • but at the same time

  • uh... actually obstruct the process

  • one of those things that feels great

  • but actually obstructs the process

  • very often of her becoming attracted to you

  • is that moment when we notice that

  • she is perfect

  • when we notice oh she is our dream girl and we see this one girl and we go wow

  • you know I want her to be my girlfriend

  • i'm in love

  • i'm feeling it

  • it's amazing

  • i've never felt like this before she's perfect

  • you know she makes my

  • heart sing my stomach

  • getting butterflies and all that stuff

  • and we get so overwhelmed with that feeling that what happens next is we are here

  • let's see we are here

  • and

  • basically

  • we are seeing ourselves here

  • with her

  • that's a skirt

  • okay we see ourselves here and we are visualising that

  • this is the end goal and we go straight here in our minds right we imagine

  • ourselves

  • together you know whatever making babies yeah

  • we go straight there right and we hope that

  • because we are so overwhelmed with our feelings so excited about it

  • that naturally

  • she must feel the same way when we tell her that we are so excited about it and

  • we are so excited about her and she means so much to us

  • and because you know what if somebody did that to us we think that would be

  • wonderful right

  • so why doesn't it ever work out that way or very rarely

  • well because what we forget is that

  • it doesn't matter whether we attracted to her

  • what's much more important is that she becomes attracted to us

  • nothing is going to happen with her

  • just because we are attracted to her

  • something is going to happen if

  • we are attracted to her

  • but if she becomes attractive to us now i know that sounds really obvious

  • but very often because we get so overwhelmed with our feelings

  • we forget but that is actually the key thing here right

  • she needs to become attracted to us

  • when we jump straight ahead into this thing

  • what happens naturally

  • we want to tell her how much we love her

  • what she means to us and we will know you know

  • ask her out and let her know how much she means to us and

  • you know give her wonderful things and take her to dinner

  • show her how much we like her

  • and what's the reaction usually

  • well women get faced with this situation are

  • oh my god ok this guy really likes me

  • now

  • clearly

  • he's pushing in this direction so what i need to do

  • is either go with that

  • or

  • block him off right

  • so women are presented with this choice of either

  • going along with something that they don't yet experience themselves

  • so they feel pressure

  • to go along with what you are going to do which is getting intimate quickly

  • because you know it's right and you feel great about it

  • or to

  • keep distance and block you off and you know what say i'm not attracted to you but we can

  • be friends or whatever

  • so they're quickly

  • have this pressure of oh my god

  • whether i say yes or no

  • will either make him

  • you know very happy or very destroyed and i basically have his life in my hand

  • okay

  • because that's what it sounds like and looks like to her

  • when we want to go straight there yeah

  • make sense

  • so

  • women never get a chance to become attracted to you in this process

  • do you understand?

  • women in that process they don't become attracted to you because they never get the chance to

  • see you grow on them yeah unless they're instantly attracted to you which is not

  • very often to be honest

  • then they don't really get the chance to

  • you know get to know you

  • get to grow some affection some trust with you get to

  • grow some attraction to you

  • and go step by step

  • so what's the key to this

  • look this is a line yeah

  • if you want to go from there being by yourself and dreaming of her... to here

  • being with her

  • then there are lots of steps

  • to take here okay

  • step-by-step process

  • and when we jump ahead

  • we mess up okay

  • what's the first step

  • building some trust

  • at this stage she still i think you know there's this guy who really likes me he's kind

  • of good looking but I mean

  • i don't know out

  • do I know him

  • so is he gonna be weird is he just going to try it

  • uh... have sex with me and

  • then fuck off or

  • what's he gonna do i mean i don't know yet

  • there's a bit more at stake for women than for men yeah

  • so

  • first step building trust once you built trust

  • second step might be

  • depends might be to

  • well

  • laugh for the first time together and i have

  • have a bit of a laugh maybe flirt with her

  • you know so that might be the second step third step might be to

  • uh...

  • be a little bit physical playfully

  • get comfortable touching each other getting familiar physically as well right

  • next step might be uh...

  • you know

  • being

  • inviting her over dinner and being an environment where

  • you and her are

  • by yourselves you and her

  • after having built some trust after having built some attraction after getting a

  • bit comfortable physically and building that trust as well that you

  • you know that you know how to handle yourself and that you're not weird or creepy or

  • whatever

  • okay then you might be in an apartment together with her you know maybe you're kissing or something okay

  • that builds more familiarity

  • then maybe having sex right

  • that again builds intimacy yet then maybe you're having you are starting to tell each

  • other some some stuff

  • about each other that is deeper like something that builds even more trust

  • more trust

  • and maybe there's more attraction building from that maybe there's more physical

  • intimacy building from that

  • and then

  • at that stage

  • you can talk about any of this stuff if you want

  • but all of these steps

  • need to be taken and crucially they also need to be enjoyed by you

  • so

  • the key with this is

  • you want to focus on this step first

  • then you want to focus on this then you want to focus on this then you want to focus on this

  • then you want to focus on this then you want to focus on this and then you can focus on that

  • you don't want to go straight from there to there but want to go there there there there there

  • there there there

  • does this make sense

  • step

  • by

  • step

  • so that she is with you every step of the way rather than

  • you're jumping all the way ahead and then you're basically like forcing her to

  • make an instant life or death decision on your behalf

  • whether you're going to be happy

  • and overjoyed

  • or forever destroyed

  • because for

  • because the risk is for her

  • if she goes along with it while you're jumping ahead

  • like she might have to finish with you i've been three days yet because she

  • does not feel it yet or does not not trust you yet she doesn't even know whether she is

  • attracted to you she doesn't even know whether you are physically you know here

  • good at like you know

  • getting it on with her she doesn't even know whether you are a good kisser

  • she doesn't know all these things doesn't know wether you and her sexually

  • have something in common wether your dick is small or big or whatever

  • whether you fit you know all of this stuff

  • uh... so that's why this process has to build one one one one one one one

  • and you will need to focus on on the next step rather than the big step ahead

  • make sense

  • right

  • i hope this makes sense the step by step thing

  • is huge

  • don't jump ahead

  • just because you feel it doesn't mean that she's going to feel it

  • she needs to get attracted to you and for that you need to go step by step

  • and focus on each individual bit

  • and

  • and enjoy each individual bit

  • most guys see this whole dating thing as some sort of like

  • uh...

  • I don't know like a necessary evil to get to the end result

  • and that doesn't work for women trust me

  • okay make sense

  • I hope you enjoyed my little drawing and if you want more from me of course

  • you need to go to the link under the video

  • and sign up there for my newsletter or whatever else I am offering you of course

  • i've got

  • all those steps there for you in my programs as well

  • that will help you to take these steps

  • effectively with confidence

  • and great conversation skills uh... from the actual approaching to the building

  • trust and

  • and making it work on dates and so forth yes

  • so you have all those things there I create them for people who want them

  • it's absolutely your option if you want to take advantage of my best stuff in the programs

  • and definitely make sure you get more free stuff from me by following the link under the video

  • and if you want me to more videos like this if you found this useful

  • and you liked it then please click like here under the video

  • because that lets me know that you want more of these videos so

  • thanks very much take care

  • and try to think of it in this way rather than going all the way

  • into the future try it out a few times and just

  • gently bring yourself back to focusing on what's right here in front of you rather

  • than that

  • the big goal in the future okay

  • and you see

  • you will take the girl with you in the process and you enjoy the process a lot more and

  • you'll be focused much more

  • in the moment

  • because that's key when you try to get a girlfriend

  • i speak you very soon

hey it's Stephan Erdman here alright now if you know me then you know that i believe

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