The last few weeks in the beauty community and then some of our personal lives have been very insane.

I know a lot of you are sick and tired of hearing about the subject.

I know a lot of you are expecting to get a lot of tea today.

I know the whole world is sitting here wondering What is Jeffery Starr going to say next?

Um, and I think that this will be one of the most important videos that I ever upload.

About 10 days ago, Tati uploaded a video about James Charles.

It caused waves.

There was a lot happening behind the scenes.

And I think today I would like to shed some light on the entire experience because I think that things are getting crazy dangerous, and we need to have a conversation.

So yesterday, James uploaded a video.

There was mentions of me in there, and I want to be very transparent with my audience for hours yesterday, it took me back to the old Jeffrey, and I was in a very dark place.

I sat there for hours and it started to get really dark in my head.

And what I mean by that is that you guys know me for always sticking up for what I believe in.

You know that I'm brutally honest on my channel.

I am always keeping Riel.

Has it gotten me in trouble before?

Absolutely.

Whether it's a makeup review, a conversation about someone else or any part of drama or anything that I've ever been in in the past, I have been very out spoken, and sometimes I've spoken too much.

Um, and I think that this week was definitely one of those scenarios.

Now most of you have seen some brutal tweets that I sent out last week.

Ah, lot of you have seen the vicious text messages that I sent, and I want to let you understand something because I said those things that does not equal me hating James Charles.

He has been in my life for a few years now.

Are we the best of friends?

No, but we had a real connection.

I loved and cared about him, and I definitely think I mishandled our friendship, which I will dive into in a minute.

But I want to let you guys know that there is no actual hate in this heart.

Um, I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that I need to get a few things off my chest.

And one of those things is that behind the scenes, there was definitely weird feelings.

Everyone over the last few days keeps asking about the Seattle trip, about the text messages, and I really want to let you guys know something after Seattle.

Okay?

Which there's so many rumors, right?

Everyone has their own version of the story.

We were all there today.

I am not going to give the world what they want, and I don't think that everyone wants this from me.

But I think that there is a major portion that thinks Jeffery Starr is going to come for James because I was in a dark place yesterday.

I said some things online about pulling receipts and showing things, and I sat there with myself and I sat there with my mother and I sat there with Nathan, and we fully fully understand the power of millions of people watching and what my voice and what this channel actually means to me.

And what it means is that I don't want to play the games anymore.

I sat there yesterday and I started to get really angry.

I was gonna pull voice memos.

I was gonna pull old text messages from other people that don't want to be involved.

And I was just getting into a place where it wasn't healthy.

Okay?

And thank God I'm in the headspace that I am today because I stopped those feelings.

I let them all subside.

And I understand that now.

That isn't okay.

I am not going to fuel this fire bigger so everyone can get more entertainment.

Because behind the scenes this isn't funny.

This is our real lives.

And I inserted myself into something publicly that I shouldn't have.

And I think that I need to let you guys know where I'm at today and where I've been this entire year.

Okay.

I am in an amazing place.

I mean, a beautiful relationship.

My business is amazing.

My family is mainly healthy.

Besides my mom, my dogs were healthy.

I have amazing employees.

I have a good group of people around me, and I think sometimes we slip into our old ways.

And today I know what people want.

They want me to sit here and degrade James.

They want me to open up my phone and expose it all.

I'm done doing that, and it may be shocking.

Some of you may be like, Oh, you're just trying to save your own ass.

Are you a liar?

Are you this?

I'm willing to bite the bullet and let anyone think what they want.

But today I will not be posting voice memos.

I will not be posting text messages.

I will not be exposing anything more.

This has to stop.

I'm embarrassed by my own actions, and a lot of you may be like, Whoa.

Well, what do you mean by that?

I could have handled things differently after Seattle.

Yes, me and Nate were very uncomfortable with some things that had happened.

We were kind of getting distant from James, and we really weren't on the same vibe.

And that's okay.

But what I should have done is vented all my feelings to James.

And I know that taught you got to do that.

She had private conversations with him.

I didn't do that.

I should have been mature enough to say, Hey, I love and care about you.

I've heard X, Y and z about you.

I've seen some things I didn't like.

Here's my feelings, but guess what?

I didn't and that was my first mistake.

I want to give you guys some context.

I don't want you to see things that I've written to someone and think Wow, like Jeffrey is an evil person.

He's a bitch.

I want to let you guys know that there is a big piece of the story that I don't think a lot of people know.

And that's that behind the scenes there were people in my head.

There were people telling me a lot of stuff.

I don't mean my own friends.

I mean, people that had known James they were being very I don't know the right word, but they were telling me things that was making me feel a whole other way.

Um, should I have let other people get in my head and sway my opinion about someone?

No, that's my problem.

And I have to deal with that.

I have let people get in my head for years.

I have let others and their opinions somehow get to me.

So moving forward, I wanna handle things, way differently than I have in the past.

Did I jump the gun on a situation that I didn't fully understand and chime in?

Absolutely.

And I am living with that every day.

There's a lot of questions about my tweets, and I want to say that I regret them.

I don't regret much of my life, but I regret hitting the send button because they were bigger and louder than I ever imagined.

And it made things worse when I could have handled things privately.

And that is something that I'm working on.

Everyone is so usedto Geoffrey being the most controversial person in the beauty community.

I'm very out spoken.

Whether it's about brands, Shade arranges someone's stealing from other companies, an old friend that I've had to set straight.

You guys know me for being brutally honest.

You know me for keeping it rial.

You know me that I am not a liar.

So I don't want my character toe ever be misconstrued.

And I do want to come clean and say that I do regret sending those tweets before fully accusing an individual of doing anything.

I need more fax, and I also really need to get something off my chest.

James Charles, His brother Ian.

Um, I sent a very mean tweet to him when I fully didn't understand what he was even referring to.

And that's the problem with the Internet.

We take things personally, were selfish people.

We see things and you just think, Oh, that's about me because you already had a situation with someone.

So you just think that that's about me and Ian's tweet wasn't about anything that was going on.

It was about something personal, and I made it way more personal, and I hurt him with what I said.

So, Ian, I just wanna let you know I am so sorry forever sending that tweet.

If I could take it back, I would.

And I did not understand what I was doing in that moment.

Um, I was fueled by sadness by anger.

I felt like I was being let down by someone and I hit send, and I knew it was gonna be hurtful to James.

And I didn't really think about how you would feel.

And I am so sorry.

So moving forward.

I want to let you guys know something.

I'm done.

I am done with the tea with the drama, and I don't want to be involved in anyone's situations anymore.

This was a huge wake up call to reel me in because I have been really healing myself.

I'm in such a good place.

So for me, thio die aggress and go back Thio Jeffrey from years ago.

I'm embarrassed of myself.

I'm embarrassed for my family that they have to see things online, and I'm sad that Nathan and my friends have to go online and deal with this as well.

Because of my actions.

I also owe an apology to you guys.

I own apology to my audience for bringing something public and for inserting myself in someone else's beef drama situation.

Whatever you want to call it, I should have kept my mouth shut and I didn't.

So I want you guys to learn from me because, you know, I'm the first person to apologize and own up to my mistakes.

I have had an insane crazy past and all the stuff that I said I will be sorry for until the day I die.

Okay, Um And for me, that means I need to let go moving forward.

I cannot let Old me and old feelings regurgitate and bring me into a dark place.

I know who I am, and this beauty community right now is suffering, and I'm really sad that everything is going on.

And I know that may be hard to believe, because there's so many, um, people that have opinions.

They think that I get off on drama.

I think that any time is a situation.

I insert myself.

It's been a really quiet year for me, and I didn't want this to happen, and I should have known better.

What I want you guys to understand is that when you have a voice and millions of followers, you need to use that in a positive light.

And there are people including myself, that maybe have abused the power, have used in a wrong way, have done things way to publicly and today this is done.

It's over, okay, because I don't want anyone that is inspired by me, whether it's a makeup artist, a boy in beauty, someone that doesn't really feel like they belong and they look up to me, I don't want them to think that gossip, hate and negativity is how you get popular is how you grow on social media is how people will respect you because it's not respectable it all.

And I've had to learn the hard way, and I want you guys to learn from my mistakes.

And I want you guys to know that I am not who I used to be, and I haven't been for a while.

So I'm not going to play the games that I started to play because that's not me.

And if people want that person, I don't know who they are anymore.

You'd have to go follow someone else, you know?

So just know where I'm at.

Mentally, I am good.

Um, I'm going to take a few days off and just turn off my phone.

I think a lot of us are on our phones.

Too much business and life just takes over and you get way too caught up in the mess, and I'm done getting caught up something that I need.

Thio say before this is over, is that you guys saw a lot of text messages.

There were things being told to me that were never proven.

There was a lot of rumors, and sadly, I let that get to me.

So, James, I want to let you know that I should have never sent you those messages.

I should have been a better friend.

I know that now.

And even if we weren't close friends anymore, I should have handled it way differently.

Um, I will never handle a situation like this again.

And I want to let you guys know that you shouldn't either.

So if anyone wants to continue to try toe pick at the situation to try to get all three of us to say more on my end, I'm not talking about this anymore.

I will hopefully have future conversations with people behind closed doors.

I think that everyone needs to heal, and this all has to stop.

So I know that there's gonna be more videos about this.

There's gonna be more conversations, but for me, I'm now ready to deal with this privately.

And I know that's shocking, because I have made things so publicly, and it is just hurt too many people.

So, um, thank you guys for even just watching and hearing me out.

I know a lot of you are ready to get back to makeup on my dogs.

And Nathan, um, and I will be back soon.

I'm gonna take, you know, a little bit of mental vacation because I think we all need one.

So I love you guys so much.

Thank you for watching.

And I'll see you soon.

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