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  • when Gary and I were talking about having kids I had this whole idea of how

  • my kids are gonna look like the way they're gonna behave what they're gonna

  • say how I'm gonna be the super father mom and I won't have to raise my voice

  • and we are going to travel and my kids were just gonna listen and obey and you

  • know my life is not gonna change at all like at all just like in the magazines

  • and then we had kids and I feel like the universe and people around me didn't

  • prepare me for this stage in my life but I've also learned with the years that no

  • one will ever be able to prepare you no one will ever tell you that you're gonna

  • pee your pants when you jump no one told me that I'll have to rearrange every

  • single day around my children no one told me that I'm gonna be having chicken

  • fingers every single meal or have their leftovers of chewed up food the day all

  • of a sudden decided they don't feel like swallowing these are the things I wish I

  • would have known you become a slave for real you become a slave you completely

  • rearrange your days around their activities even if you fight it in your

  • head and you give all this excuses and you like make it look like you're not a

  • slave and you are so my day really revolved around oh if they have martial

  • arts they have art classes there there's obviously we now have help at home so we

  • kind of have another person that can help us out but honestly the amount of

  • like rearranging that we do is mind-blowing is it necessary no but this

  • is 21st century parenting your weekends are gone no more weekends you know how

  • everyone at the office are like oh my god today is Friday I'm like oh my god

  • because every kid on this planet Earth have their birthdays on Saturday and

  • I am Saturday at 12 p.m. Saturday at 3 p.m. Saturday at 6 p.m. Saturday at 9

  • p.m. and then you crash and then that goes same for Sundays you break all your

  • rules everything you told yourself you're gonna stand by all your values

  • your morals your rules it all goes rushing down the toilet once

  • these children are there looking at you and say you can't you can resist with

  • food it's kind of the same thing I feel like probably three times a week

  • I'm deciding that you know this is what I'm gonna make for dinner and if they

  • don't want to eat it it's fine but then I know that when they go to sleep hungry

  • they're gonna be whining and then they want to snack and then they want to

  • cheese string and then they want to milk then they want Apple so I'm basically

  • breaking my own rules and I'm making them chicken fingers and then I'm ending

  • up eating chicken fingers six times a week so your body does things you would

  • have never thought a human body can do so not only you're going through this

  • process of carrying a child and growing a child in side of your stomach but also

  • all these other stuff are starting to shift and move bones are moving things

  • are cracking some leakage happens and then you go to this amazing experience

  • and this child is out there in the world and you think that's it you think it's

  • done my body's gonna go back to its harmonious state and then hair loss

  • night sweats you pee when you sneeze you pee when you jump you pee when you skip

  • you pee when you go down the stairs your nipples hurt they feel like they're

  • gonna fall out I'm not even gonna mention the obvious like stretch marks

  • and loose skin and just things that just never went back to the way they used to

  • be so for my third pregnancy with Maxie I decided to document

  • actual Body Transformation that I've went through it was such an amazing

  • experience and yes although all the things that I've mentioned are probably

  • not the place you want to find yourself in but you are also so so aware and

  • empowered by your strength and your resilience and you walk around honestly

  • feeling like conversations will change all of a sudden it's no longer high

  • valyrian how are you I'm so happy to see you it's hi Valerio how's the kids is

  • everyone good is everyone sick is everyone healthy where is it go where's

  • Ben going to school what kind of programs do they do and then it's like

  • you don't matter and it's fine it's fine it's not fine ask me how I am and you

  • think that it ends there you think that it's only the people that you see and

  • your friends only ask about the kids but it's also pops out at thick nights when

  • it's like Gary you and I really need time just alone one on one and then we

  • sit down we start looking at pictures of the kids and then we start talking about

  • what they've been doing this week did you see the letter that he showed us

  • today did you hear about his new friend did you see how he fold his socks today

  • we are so proud this sums up your life I wrote the pattern and I found this one

  • friend who doesn't have kids but she is a pediatric doctor so yes but we're

  • talking about a dinner show and then there's mom guild it's like this new

  • organ that you acquire once you push this baby out to the world that is just

  • very big and takes over everything else in your body especially your brain and

  • you can't help but constantly feel like you're not doing enough you're not

  • spending enough time with them they're not eating healthy enough there's not

  • organic bananas today so you suck as a mom and my victory that you might get as

  • a person on your own or in your career it really equates to nothing because

  • then you look at the time that you could have spent with the kids rather than

  • working or doing anything for yourself but honestly I feel like we are lucky to

  • there are much more conversations today about mom guilt about how we need to

  • start controlling it and not being so hard on ourselves I even look back at

  • you know my childhood my mom was a single mom and she was working and she

  • had a life and it was fabulous to watch it and I've never felt like I didn't

  • have enough of her so I'm trying to remind myself that every single day when

  • I do something that it is for the kids that I am portraying

  • to them an example of women around the world that can be whatever they want and

  • you know some days that great tactic works most days it doesn't but you do

  • what you can honestly I don't mean to scare you but I

  • want you to be a little scared because that will get you prepared a little bit

  • better you're still not gonna know what the hell you're doing but it please to

  • be like valaria did mention it this is the most rewarding the most important

  • thing I've ever done in my life yeah I wouldn't want it any other way

  • you guys so much for watching the video I hope I didn't scare you too much it is

  • the most amazing experience in the world to watch ten ways how to make yourself

  • happier clicker

when Gary and I were talking about having kids I had this whole idea of how

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